It was Milford who spoke. “Agent Chiago, we’ve carefully reviewed the details of this incident, along with your service record. Crossing the border while on duty and in uniform was a clear violation of our regulations and resulted in considerable and avoidable risk to your life. Further, this infraction caused conflict with our neighbor and ally, the United Mexican States.”
Yeah, this was it, his last minutes as a Shadow Wolf.
Milford went on. “However, there are several mitigating factors that we took into consideration. In light of years of meritorious service, this committee has decided that you be reinstated to the Shadow Wolves at your current paygrade.”
Jason stood there for a moment, stunned, the Pack cheering behind him.
Nez stood, a broad grin on his face. “It’s good to have you back, Chiago.”
“Thank you, sir.” Jason knew he ought to be smiling like everyone. Instead, he felt … disappointed.
You honestly thought it would be this easy, that they’d fire you, and you’d have an excuse to pack up and go back to Scarlet?
Now he would have to make a choice—keep a death-bed promise to the grandmother who had raised him or claim happiness with the woman he loved.
Remember that Creator doesn’t lead us to dead ends. We do that to ourselves. Creator gives us choices.
Sometimes Jason hated it when elders were right.
Ren slapped him on the back. “Come on back to my place. Have a beer and join us for supper. Teresa is making cemait and stew for dinner. You look like a man who needs to talk.”
Jason tossed back his fourth and final shot of whisky. “Then her grandfather held a sweat lodge to pray for her and Naomi, her sister-in-law.”
“The one who had the baby.”
Jason nodded. “He said, ‘A promise is a sacred thing. So is the love of one’s half-side.’ Then he said it was time for me to break free from my anger toward my sisters so my resentment toward them wouldn’t color my decision.”
“He sounds like a wise man.”
“What does that even mean? How does the fact that my sisters left their people and their culture behind influence my decision?”
“Maybe they hurt you, and you’re just determined to show them that you’re not like them.”
Well, that made too much sense.
“Have you prayed about it?”
“What do you think? Of course, I have.” Jason knew he’d had a bit too much to drink, but that was no excuse for snapping at Ren. “Sorry, man.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Ren took a sip of his beer. “Help me understand. Your grandma made you promise not to abandon your O’odham people, and you think that means you can’t leave Sells to go live with your Lakota hottie. Am I right?”
“Yeah.”
“How does living in another place mean you abandon the O’odham?”
What was Ren’s problem? What didn’t he understand?
Jason spoke like he was talking to a child. “I wouldn’t be here, on the reservation.”
Ren laughed. “Being O’odham isn’t about where you are. It’s who you are. You’re an O’odham man through and through. If you leave, you won’t be abandoning us. You’ll be taking us with you. We’re inside you. We’ll always be a part of you.”
“That’s just semant… seman… just word games.” Jason wished there was more whisky in his glass. “What about the O’odham kids I coach in basketball? What about the Pack? What about passing on our himdag to the next generation?”
Then Teresa stepped out of the kitchen, corn flour on her hands. “You’re like a brother to us, Chiago. You know that. You’ve always had Ren’s back. So listen to your sister’s advice. You met the woman you believe is your soul mate, and you’re going to throw away your happiness and hers to keep a promise.”
“It’s a promise made on my grandma’s death bed.”
“Yeah, I got that part. Look at your arm. Does the Man in the Maze stay where he started? Does he just stand there, looking confused like you do right now?”
“Um…” Jason was actually drunk enough to look at his tattoo.
“Life isn’t about standing still or staying in one place. It’s a journey. Your grandmother knew that. I don’t think she meant you to promise that you wouldn’t leave the rez. She wanted you to promise to hold onto our ways. Besides, what would she want for you now? She would want the grandson she loved to be happy.”
Jason struggled to think this through.
But Teresa wasn’t finished. “Ren is right. You can’t abandon your people by moving away. Who gives a damn what your sisters did? That’s their choice, their journey. As long as you hold true to our beliefs, to our values, you’ll carry us with you wherever you go—and pass what you know on to your children. And why do you have to be here or there? Can’t you go back and forth? Isn’t that what roads are for?”
Teresa threw up her hands and walked back to the kitchen, muttering to herself and leaving Jason to stare after her.
Ren cleared his throat. “Brother, I think you’ve just been told.”
Winona woke to a buzz from her cell phone. She rolled over, picked it up, read Jason’s text message.
Good morning, angel.
Along with the text was a photo of him sitting in his pickup at a gas station, either at dawn or dusk.
Her heart swelled to see him. She saved it to her photo app and replied with a selfie she’d taken with the bear cub yesterday.
Good morning, my love.
This was her new morning routine. Every day began and ended with a text message from Jason, most of them accompanied by selfies or beautiful pictures of the desert or wildlife—roadrunners, a desert tortoise, an elf owl peeking out of a giant saguaro. He also sent emails when he could, and, on his days off, they chatted on the phone or online, sometimes for hours. And still, it wasn’t enough.
Jason had been gone for a little more than five weeks now, but it seemed like an eternity since she’d watched him drive away. She missed his face, the sound of his voice, his touch, his scent. She missed sharing meals and unhurried conversations. She missed falling asleep beside him and waking up in his arms.
She missed the sex, too, of course. God, yes, she missed that.
Worse than missing him was the niggling fear that he’d get back into his routine in Sells, surrounded by his Pack and his people, and lose interest in her.
Grandpa had told her to give Jason space. “Let him find his path back to you.”
But it was hard to live every day not knowing when they’d be together again.
Jason had told her he was working on their situation. When she’d asked what he meant, he’d said he didn’t want to get her hopes up and had kept it to himself.
Long-distance relationships sucked.
Winona sat up, reached for her boot, and slipped her Frankenleg inside. She’d been off crutches and walking for a little more than a week now. Though each step had been painful at first, she was grateful to still have her leg and be more mobile.
She walked to the bathroom and brushed and braided her hair. It was a Saturday, but she wanted to get her rounds at the clinic done early so she could help Naomi at the shop. Shota was almost two months old now and went to work every day with his mother. But when Naomi needed to breastfeed him or work on jewelry or even eat her lunch, someone needed to take care of the baby or cover the sales floor and the register.