I was saved from responding by Juliette, who shook her head, hopped over the nearest clothing pile, and sprayed perfume all over herself like it was deodorant. If her scent goal for the night was to turn into a walking asthma hazard, she was nailing it. “No smoking tonight, unfortunately,” she said. “Mom’s been catching on, open windows or not.”
Niamh threw herself back on the bed and kicked her legs in the air in a kind of yoga-protest. I watched her, then glanced back to Lara in time to catch her gesturing to me while pulling an “is he for real?” face at Juliette.
Lara didn’t realize I noticed her. Juliette did, though. She chewed the inside of her lip, but didn’t try to defend me. Which was fair, I guessed. She’d only just met me. Why should she go into battle on my behalf? Still. It didn’t do wonders for my comfort levels. I’d better start practicing mindfulness real fast, or I might do something rash, like fake salmonella poisoning and bail. But then I’d have wasted all that emotional blackmail on my parents, and ruined my chances at fitting in with a group. Even if it was a group that was maybe a little too edgy for me. It was better than being alone.
I spent a solid twenty or so seconds thinking over all of the above. And by that, I mean I spent a solid twenty or so seconds sitting in silence, staring ahead mindfully. My brain had officially gone on strike. I think I might have been panicking.
Finally, a topic came to me. “Did you do that on purpose? Rose-gold roses?”
Juliette unclasped her chain and held it out to examine it. “Huh. I didn’t even think of that. Rose gold.”
“Double the rose power,” Niamh said. “Even better.”
“What do they stand for?” I asked.
“Female strength,” Juliette said. “It was the symbol of Venus.”
“Not love?” I asked.
“Who needs love when you can have passion?” Lara said. She brought the chain up over her jaw and clenched the metal between her teeth.
“I like them,” I said.
“Too bad they don’t sell them anymore,” Lara said. “Limited edition, you know? That’s why we don’t let new girls into the group. It’d ruin the theme.”
Before I spent too long floundering for a response, Juliette jumped in. “Hey, finish your drinks now anyway, guys. We should probably head over soon.”
The house was an anthill. Everyone at the party seemed to know each other—everywhere I looked was arm-clapping, and lip-reading from across the room, and people putting silent hexes on each other with angry, narrowed eyes. The temperature soared by at least twenty degrees as soon as we walked into the living room, and the air smelled like warm beer and Axe body spray.
Lara had to shout to make herself heard over the music. “I’m gonna go scout.”
With that she was off. To scout for guys, I guessed? Or alcohol? Juliette hesitated, then held a finger up in a “one second” gesture. “I’m going with her. We won’t be long.”
And then there were two. Niamh and I glanced at each other, basking in the awkwardness. How did you start a conversation again? I was about to settle for so, you like stuff? when she saved me the severe embarrassment by speaking first. “I know we’re only at the start of the year, but what are your plans for after school? Got any colleges in mind?”
A group of guys pushed past me to get to the front door, and we moved to the wall to get out of the way. “Not really. I’m not even sure if I want to go to college. I was hoping to figure that out sometime this year. How about you?”
Niamh brightened. Something told me she’d had this answer ready for some time. “Actually, college is my backup. Ideally, I’ll move to New York and get into modeling.”
“Oh, seriously?”
“Yup. There’s an agent up there who’s pretty interested in some of my pictures, so I’m hoping to build my portfolio a bit and go for it.”
“That’s awesome. You could have a real shot, too. You’re crazy pretty.”
Niamh glowed, and shrugged. “Well, obviously we don’t have to beat around the bush, I’d be doing plus-sized modeling.”
“I’m not beating around any bushes. You are crazy pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“You have the thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Like, are they false?”
Niamh laughed. “Nope!”
“If I was a girl I would want to look like you. Your hair.”
“Oh … you’re laying it on a bit thick, now.” Niamh grinned, but it was an uncomfortable one.
“Yeah, no, sorry. That’s fair. I, uh … I’ll stop.”
I’d been doing well for a second there, too. A part of me suddenly understood why people drank at parties. It wasn’t to have fun. It was to forget how much of an idiot they made of themselves.
Niamh shifted, and then shook her head. “Come on, let’s go find the girls. Lara’s probably getting into trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” I asked, following after her as she stalked into the backyard, which was as crowded as the house.
At least the music was muted out here, and there was fresh air.
“Oh, you know. Just trouble. Teasing boys, mostly.”
We squeezed past four or five groups, then I caught sight of Juliette’s hair through the crowd. Lara was next to her, talking to a group of guys in black-and-white letterman jackets standing in front of a wooden panel fence.
Then one of the letterman guys caught my eye. A letterman guy with dark hair in a deep side part, a freckled nose, and high cheekbones. A letterman guy I knew.
The world fell silent.
It was him.
Will.
Will Will.
My Will.
We stared at each other in dumb shock. It was hard to tell which of us was the deer, and which was the headlight.
He spoke first. Which was excellent, because I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled or accusatory. “Holy shit, Ollie! What are you doing here?” He looked dumbfounded, but it was a happy kind of dumbfounded. That’s all it took for all my doubts to disappear. Of course he wasn’t ignoring me. This was Will we were talking about.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, before realizing that at least this was supposed to be his state. It was significantly weirder for me to be here than him. “You didn’t say you lived in Collinswood. You said it was something else, starting with M, right? Or L?”
“Napier. I live in Napier. It’s twenty minutes out of Collinswood,” Will said. “I go to school here. Ollie, why aren’t you in California? You’re so ridiculous!”
He was grinning. Beaming, really. A cheekbone-shattering kind of smile. A viral-epidemic kind of smile. Infectious-as-hell. All of the misery from the last couple of weeks, every bit of it, was gone. Like it’d never been there.
“My parents thought they’d move us over to help out with Aunt Linda. She lives here. In Collinswood.”
“You never mentioned that.”
“Didn’t I? Well, she does. So do I now, I guess.”
“Oh my God, Ollie-oop, how awesome is that?” Lara cut in, her voice way too perky to be sincere. Will and I looked at her as one. I’d forgotten she was there until that moment. I’d forgotten anyone other than Will was there. “What are the odds? Will, Ollie was telling us all about his summer this morning.”