“I swear we’re on for dinner next weekend and I’ll make sure we go no matter what, okay?”
Another nod.
“And how about some lunch now?” He knew she turned him down earlier because she was nervous, but now that everything was out in the open, he was sure she’d want to eat with him.
“How about a rain check?” she said as she rose. There was a smile on her face but…something was just a little off. “Emilie’s handling the work on a cake and I know she’s doing a fabulous job, but…” She shrugged. “I’d feel better if I were there to make sure it was all going well.”
He stood and nodded because it was something they had in common–the inability to fully delegate anything.
“I’m going to hold you to that rain check. We’ll have to look at our calendars and work out a time for lunch.”
“Definitely.”
“And an evening to come here and not worry about interruptions,” he said smoothly.
“Sure.” Leaning in, she kissed him on the cheek and turned to walk away. And just like he had earlier, Brody stopped her.
“There’s something else, Lea. Something you’re not saying.”
Brody watched as she averted her eyes and seemed to resign herself to this last bit of conversation. When she looked at him, there was a sadness in eyes that wasn’t there a few minutes ago. “It occurred to me that you never really responded to what I said. That night and now,” she clarified. “I’ve admitted that I’m in love with you and you had nothing to say.”
His mouth went dry and there was a lump in his throat because…he didn’t know what to say. Hell, right now in this very moment, he couldn’t even get himself to say her name!
“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “Really. I don’t want you to say something because you feel like you have to–especially if it’s not how you feel. And it’s completely okay if you don’t feel it. So there’s no pressure, I just…well…I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t respond.”
And where her expression was wary and full of resignation a minute ago, it was one of full-on disappointment now.
“I’m going to go and…” She sighed. “I’m going to get caught up on some work I’ve been avoiding–paperwork, paying bills…the usual. Why don’t you give me a call this weekend and we’ll go out, okay?”
He nodded and wanted to say something, but…he couldn’t.
What is wrong with me?!
With a sad smile, she turned and walked out the door. It took several minutes for Brody to clear his head and as he stalked out of his office and past Margaret’s desk, he knew he was too late. Leanna was gone.
He contemplated going after her but…to what end?
The thing was, he knew he cared about her–probably more than any woman he’d ever dated. But was that enough for her? She said it was okay and there was no pressure but suddenly…he felt some pressure.
Actually, a lot of pressure.
And because he chose that moment to choke on his words and freeze up, he knew some damage had definitely been done. There was a very good chance that he just ruined everything they built and he was going to have to do something to make it up to her.
Fast.
Muttering a curse, he started to walk back into his office when he heard Margaret’s phone buzz.
“Yes, he’s right here,” she said. “I’ll let him know. Thank you.”
Brody turned toward her and waited.
“Your father asked if you could join him in his office in twenty minutes. He wants to discuss the Paris contract.”
Nodding, he walked back into his office and shut the door with a little more force than needed. When he sat back down behind his desk, he let out a long breath. The last thing he wanted to do was think about Paris or Japan or business of any kind. He wanted to go after Leanna and explain himself. Did she even realize just how much he had changed for her? Because of her? How everything they’d been doing for the last several months was in complete contrast to the man he’d been for years? It wasn’t an excuse for going completely mute on her, but he didn’t want her to take his silence as something against herself. This was about him and how screwed up he was.
Raking a hand through his hair, he called himself every kind of name he could think of. Maybe he never thought he’d fall in love with anyone, but what he felt for Leanna was more than a simple attraction or admiration and it certainly was more than a casual relationship. Did he think about a future with her? Not necessarily, but he also didn’t not think about it. Whenever he thought ahead–and it wasn’t business related–she was there. Maybe he wasn’t thinking weddings and babies, but he was thinking about her.
Great time to realize that, you moron…
Yeah, he really screwed this up.
And now he couldn’t even go after her because he had to deal with business.
Always business.
If there was one thing he was learning about himself, it was that his drive to climb the corporate ladder was waning. For years he had pushed himself to be better, more powerful, more successful than anyone in the King family. Why? He had a feeling it was largely to do with being a middle child. He’d been doing it for so long–competing with everyone–that he didn’t notice he was the only one in the race. Neither of his brothers wanted the things he did. Travis was completely happy in his position in middle management because it meant he wasn’t on the clock twenty-four seven and could take time off without feeling guilty. His older brother, Daren, was the head of their marketing department and was more artistic and creative than any of them.
So what am I killing myself for?
In the last few months, he’d left work at a reasonable time, taken weekends off, and actually had a social and personal life without King Hospitality falling apart.
“Where does that leave me?” he wondered aloud, turning his chair to look out the window. Right now, he enjoyed what he did but certainly wouldn’t mind doing it a little less–being able to sleep in once in a while and perhaps share breakfast with Leanna every morning before work.
Hell, maybe even not go to the gym to train every day.
Or train at all.
Track and field had been an obsession while he was in school and when he ran his first marathon, he loved the praise he got. But when he challenged his brothers to join him and they declined, he got some pleasure out of knowing he intimidated them and that they knew they couldn’t compete.
It never occurred to him they simply didn’t want to.
Shit.
Suddenly, nothing in his life was making any sense. His head was spinning, his heart was racing, and he was starting to sweat. Reaching up, he ripped his tie off and tugged at the top buttons on his shirt and took great, gasping breaths because he was certainly having a panic attack.
It was a hell of a time for him to realize he’d been obsessing about his life’s trajectory and believing he was winning when in fact it was just the opposite. He’d lost time and opportunities and friends and relationships and for what? To be sitting alone in his office dying of anxiety and too afraid to admit something was wrong?
Closing his eyes, Brody tried to relax–tried to calm himself down–because none of this was a bad thing. Did he miss out on some things? Yes. Did it mean all was lost? No. There was no reason why he couldn’t make more changes in his life and go after the things he truly wanted.