And Bryant?
I don’t think I’ve ever managed to be a good wife. I tried before we lost Brylee, but I was young, so I have no idea if I achieved it. After, I hated myself and I know Bryant thought my anger was directed at him.
God, I want to go back. I want to erase all of the misery, all the pain I’ve caused, and all of the hurt. Most of all, I just want to go back in time and be able to hold my daughter and tell her that I love her and that I’m sorry.
Bryant has no idea—about so much, and I’ve been running—running so that I didn’t have to face the past, running so I didn’t have to face him. I can’t do it anymore. My God, I left him handcuffed to the bed, naked, all because I was desperate to keep yet another secret from him. How could I have done that? Who have I finally turned into?
I have to go back. I have to tell him why I’m going to Dallas. I have to finally tell him everything and pray that he doesn’t hate me half as much as I hate myself.
With my mind made up, I uncurl and swipe the back of my hand against my face in a piss-poor attempt to wipe my tears. Before I can push myself off the ground and do that, however, I hear an unholy growl. I look around expecting to see a bear. Getting mauled and eaten by a bear seems an easier way out for me at this point.
It’s not a bear I see, though. I look up, my gaze zeroing in on Bryant as he comes into view. He’s standing about twenty feet away from me, dragging what looks like a large piece of the wooden headboard from the bed at the cabin. He’s naked, his cock just waving in the wind. He has his loafer shoes on, though, so there’s that. His hair is mussed and there’s something smeared on the side of his face. He looks like a fallen angel that has marched through the gates of Hell.
Correction.
He looks like a fallen angel that is mad as hell, and all of his anger is directed solely at me. It’s this huge well of emotion that feels like a massive tidal wave heading straight for me and I have nowhere to hide before it consumes me—destroys me.
“We have some shit to discuss, wife,” he announces and all I can think is he’s not going to hate me—he already does.
I stand up slowly, stiffening my back. I might as well face it head on. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of pretending that everything is okay.
Bryant thinks he loves me.
But he doesn’t know everything.
29
Bryant
I watch as she stands up slowly, her eyes glued to mine. She rubs her hands down her pants, and as I walk closer, I see her throat muscles move as she swallows. She’s scared. She should be. She’s pushed me too far and I’m not taking it anymore. In fact, I’m done taking it.
“Bryant—”
“Don’t talk, Magnolia. Don’t you fucking talk,” I literally snarl. “I’m so mad right now that I can’t be responsible for what I’ll do to you,” I admit. “First thing that’s going to happen here is that you’re going to unlock me from this damn bed.” I rattle my hand, causing the wood to move against my back, the broken splintered wood jabbing into the cheek of my ass. I ignore that. I’ll make Maggie tear out every splinter with her fucking teeth.
“We, uh… We need to talk, Bryant,” she says, moving closer to me. She takes a handful of keys out of her pants pocket.
I snatch them quickly, snorting at her we-need-to-talk statement. By God, I’m the one that’s going to do the talking and Maggie is going to listen for once. I undo the cuff first, ignoring the pain of the wood moving against raw areas on my back that have been scratched. The wood drops to the ground with a thud, a dust cloud rising around us, which is just another thing to ignore.
“Let’s go, Maggie.” I grab her hand, being rough and jerking her to me then I turn to walk us into the woods. I know it will be quicker to get to my vehicle instead of following the road.
“Go?”
“Back to the cabin,” I growl. Jesus, she’s turning me into more of an animal than a man.
“I can’t go back to the cabin, Bryant! I need to go to Dallas,” she says, her voice soft, but you can still hear the tears in her voice—even if I couldn’t see them on her face. I can’t allow myself to soften, can’t handle her with kid gloves any longer. I’ve done that for far too long, and look at the mess that it has landed us in.
“If, and when, you leave here, Maggie, it will be with me, and I’ll be beside you the entire time, so you need to tell your lover that and warn him. Because when I get my hands on him, I’m going to kill him for messing with my wife.”
“There is no man!” she cries, jerking on her hand and refusing to walk. “Listen, I know I’m a complete fuck-up. I know that I’ve made your life hell. I get it. I know that I continue to mess up. I even know that I messed up today, Bryant. And I get that you have no reason on this green earth to believe me, but I’m telling you the truth. There has never been any other man for me but you. I’ve never wanted another man and I never will!” she huffs.
Even though I felt in my heart that Maggie wouldn’t be sleeping with another man and sleeping with me, it’s still damn good to hear. I’m still angry, though, and even hurt to a certain point, so it doesn’t do shit to soothe that anger. I don’t even know how to respond to her, so I just grunt, pull on her hand and continue our trek to my truck.
“Will you stop! We can’t go walking through the woods. You’re butt-ass naked and after we talk, trust me, you’re not going to want me at the cabin with you. You’re going to want me to be walking back to Mason and far, far away from you.”
“By the time we’re done, you’ll be the one butt-ass naked, and it will be red. Now shut up and start walking, Magnolia.”
“No, and don’t call me that,” she snaps, showing me that she’s not going to stop until she pushes me over the edge. Fine, if that’s the way she wants to play it, then by God, that’s how we’ll play it.
“Listen baby, I’ll call you anything the fuck I want to call you. You left me chained to a bed naked!”
“I guess the shoe feels different on the other foot. You didn’t think anything about handcuffing me to the bed!” she cries.
“I didn’t promise to send your brother up to get you and find you in that position and we hadn’t just promised each other forever moments earlier!”
“I didn’t promise you forever! You did that!”
“Bullshit, Magnolia. I knew you liked to run from reality, but I never figured you for a liar!”
“I’m not lying! And you don’t know me at all and stop using that name! You know I don’t like it.”
“Try again. I probably know you better than any other person on the face of this earth, woman.”
“How can you, Bryant? I’ve been lying to you for years,” she says, and this time, she’s not yelling. This time her voice is almost broken. I want to care and mostly I do, but there’s this coldness that wraps around me with her words. Lying to me?
“What are you talking about?”
“Why, Bryant? Why do you want to be married to me? I wasn’t good at being a wife. Don’t you remember? Your mother sure never let me forget. I can’t cook. I clean, but I don’t go crazy with it. Brylee was sick so much, and then…after… I was horrible to you. I demanded the divorce. I refused to even talk to you. We stayed apart for so long and then one night, I meet you at the bar and we repeat the same mistake that brought us together in the first place.”