But it was a lot easier to dish out that advice than take it.
Jude dragged himself out of his thoughts and settled into the quiet chatter of Maddie who seemed more than content to ask Eliah non-stop questions about every single thing they passed. “…I was in that,” she said as Jude turned his focus in. They were passing the old, dilapidated water tower, and his heart gave a painful beat.
“You were in what?” he asked.
“That um…big tower. The other one gots water but that one’s just…not.” Her voice went uncharacteristically quiet. “He was a bad guy who taked me and Logan.”
Jude’s gaze flickered over to Eliah, who was pale, his jaw set, and Jude realized there were things he still didn’t know. “But you’re okay,” he said, more of a way to reassure himself than her.
Maddie laughed. “I’m just brave, like Logan. And then Nate—he comed and then the bad guy went away, and Aaron said he won’t come back.”
Jude felt his throat thicken, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth because how could they make a promise to her like that—and yet, how could they not? How could they let her live in fear, even if the threat was so painfully real?
“Everyone’s here to protect you,” Eliah said after a beat. “Right?”
“Yep!” Although she’d been a little quiet, that shifted. And Jude knew children were far more resilient than men of his own age, he knew deep down she’d at least never forget it. And maybe she’d see that man in her head sometimes. Maybe she’d feel a quick little pulse of fear when she crossed paths with someone who looked like him.
Just like he did, every now and again when he saw a flash of greasy blond hair and tattoos.
He was willing to live with it. He was willing to go back in time and make all the same choices in all the same ways, because it meant leading him to the moment he realized he probably was deeply and irrevocably in love with Emilio. And everything that made him the man he was. And all the dangers that came with him.
Before he could sink too far into his head, they were pulling into the car park. It was nothing more than a dusty lot full of half-set gravel, and it had enough of a bump to it that it shook his knee painfully, which he knew must have been hell on Eliah’s hips. All the same, his brother didn’t seem bothered as he grabbed his cane and hopped to the ground.
Jude took a bit longer, and as he balanced himself on the door of the truck, his phone began to buzz in his pocket. His heart sped up, and then began to hammer as he saw Emilio’s name on the screen.
“I hope everything’s okay?”
There was a soft laugh. “Don’t panic every time I call, babe.”
Jude closed his eyes against the endearment. It was so…him. So common, but so intimate. “I can’t help it. Disaster seems to be around every corner.”
“Well, not here. We just got done with Jax. He took Hawke out to check out some of the property, and Rory went to ice his headache.”
Jude winced, and he waved his brother off when he saw Eliah was waiting for him. “The talks went well?”
“I think Jax has a boner for Hawke, which isn’t really a surprise. Weird, weedy little fucker has something about him.” At those words, Jude felt a pulse of jealousy until he remembered that Hawke was Emilio’s brother in all but blood, and that Emilio was coming home to him—because he’d asked Jude to stay. “Anyway, we’ll use it to our advantage.”
“Sounds a bit cruel.”
“Mutual orgasms are never cruel,” Emilio countered. “Where you at right now?”
“The bar,” Jude answered him. He took a couple of steps forward, realized he was steady, so he picked up his pace. “There’s a barbeque out back, at least according to Aaron. And the smell of cooking meat,” he added when he took a breath of wood smoke on the air.
“Aw, fuck you all,” Emilio groaned. “I’m fuckin’ starving, and these assholes ordered pizza.”
Jude grinned. “I’ll make it up to you. All you have to do is get home safely.”
“Babe, don’t make promises you aren’t prepared to keep,” Emilio said with a low growl. “I want to fuckin’ feast, and it ain’t at some buffet.”
Jude had to close his eyes for a moment to steady himself. “Please don’t make me hard right as I’m about to walk into dinner.”
Emilio laughed very softly. “I’ll go easy on you, but only because I like you.”
“Like me?” Jude pressed.
There was a long silence, then Emilio said in a begging tone, “Don’t make me say it here.”
His entire body rushed with something like numbness, but it wasn’t fear or apprehension. It was closer to pure joy, and no man on the planet had ever made him feel like that before. “Please hurry back.”
“I will. Got incentive now, don’t I?”
Jude only lingered on the call another minute before pushing his phone back into his pocket and making sure his half-erection wasn’t noticeable. He made his way through the doors and was mildly impressed with the inside. It smelled a bit like paint and varnish, but it was coming together. It almost looked ready for patrons, though the walls still had some patches, and the bar was only half-finished.
But he could see it was going to be a nice place—a good place. He could see Emilio here drinking after a long day, maybe in a booth. Maybe with his arm around Jude. It startled him how right it felt, how different from his former life, but his need for it was almost enough to choke him.
He pushed those thoughts aside and made his way out the back door and found Eliah and Aaron sitting at a long picnic table covered by a red gingham cloth. There were bottles of beer and water haphazardly resting across the spread, and in the far-off corner was a massive barbeque and smoker with a tall, broad-shouldered man bent over the flames. He was wearing a coral tank-top and black shorts, his dark brown skin shining with a sheen of sweat from the coal heat and humid air. His long dreads were tied at the nape of his neck, and when he turned, Jude could see his sharp nose, and his full lips that were half-curved into a smile.
He wasn’t alone—the other biker whose name Jude kept forgetting was there talking to him. He was leaning heavy on a cane, and it was obvious from the swell at his hip, there was a brace that hooked on the pole-like prosthetic that the leg of his jeans was curled around.
“Wanna sit?”
Jude blinked when he realized Aaron was talking to him, and he nodded, easing his way over. He sat on the biker’s other side, then reached for the water bottle the man offered him, taking a long drink to ease back some of the late spring humidity creeping in.
“It’s gorgeous out here. I think you’re going to be quite busy when it’s open.”
Aaron’s mouth quirked behind his thick beard, and he shrugged. “Here’s hopin’. I’d like to lean a lot less on the shop, and this seemed like the way to do it.”
Jude’s gaze moved to the man at the grill who was now making his way over to the table. He had sunglasses perched on the top of his head, and now that Jude could see him properly, he saw tattoos covering his forearms and across his collarbones. He looked entirely like he belonged—in ways that Jude wondered if he ever would.