She reminded herself to just calm down, that this was Cam and she trusted Cam. Cam was not Cooper. Cam was…wonderful.
As soon as she sat down, Jagger bounded over, Bowie fast on his trail, certain that it was time for a walk, since everyone was congregating around the spot where the leashes were hung on the wall. “Jagger, no.” She gave him a quick pet. “It’s not time for a walk.” But at the sound of his favorite word, he began doing a happy dance.
“Later, Jaggy, okay?” Hadley patted him on the head while starting to panic inside. Cam wasn’t being…Cam. He sat stiffly, fidgeting with his fingers, acting…weird.
He leaned over and took her hands and looked at her directly. But his eyes were…empty.
“You do everything with all your heart and soul,” he said. He didn’t sound angry. He was complimenting her, after all. But he wasn’t really looking at her—he was looking through her. The kind of look a person gives you when they don’t want to hurt you…but they have no other choice.
“Listen to me.” He squeezed her hands, tension radiating off his muscles. “I know what that feels like, having something that you love more than anything. Having something you wish would never end.”
He was talking about football, right? Not her?
“I know you’ll turn your grandma’s business into something impressive. The building is yours. You deserve it.”
“What will you do?” she asked. Because he certainly wasn’t volunteering any info.
The pause was so long she actually heard her grandma’s old kitchen clock, the one shaped like a teapot, tick-tick-ticking.
“Hadley.” He looked up quickly and then down at the floor. “I’m leaving in the morning for LA.”
Ah, yes. There it was. “LA.” Wow. That was far. Across-the-continent far. “What for?” she said, way too fast and way too cheerily. Because maybe there was the tiniest chance that he was not telling her goodbye. Her heart pumped cold dread all through her veins, sending chills down her spine.
Yet, she knew what it was like to be left.
He was leaving her.
“I told Dudley and Dolittle the building deal was off. So they want to scout for the flagship restaurant out West. I’ll be gone a couple of days, but if all goes well, I’ll relocate there so I can help get the project off the ground and give input on the next sites.”
Out West? To LA of all places?
When Cooper had told her he loved Maeve, she’d been blindsided. She’d lost her words. She’d promised herself never to lose her voice again.
“You’re leaving,” she managed. “You’re leaving me.” She cleared her throat and pushed herself forward. “You’re leaving us.” She forced herself to look at him because she wanted to see his face. She wanted to read what he was thinking. And she wanted him to see her when she asked, “Why?”
“I can’t fail at this. It’s an important business decision at a critical time.”
“That’s not the right answer,” she said, poking him in the chest. Which may have been childish but…
He turned to her then. “We never said there was an us.”
She blinked in stunned surprise. Silly her. She’d believed feeling that there was an us was sufficient. But clearly he hadn’t thought so. Would she ever learn?
“I told you I’m not in a good position to have a relationship.”
Her head was whirling. She was trying to understand the sudden change in him. Just a few days ago they were cuddling in bed, talking about forever…or had she just assumed all of that? Had she dropped her walls and trusted him so completely…because that’s what she always did? She hadn’t protected herself enough. She’d tried, but it had been useless. Because she loved him. She really, really loved him. “Because you don’t have this restaurant thing figured out?”
“That’s part of it.” He sounded a little defensive. “I succeeded at something once, and I will again. It’s just going to take some time. Time I need to take—by myself.”
“Wait a minute. You’re leaving me to go to LA because you need time to yourself?” He was bolting. Leaving her. Just like he did before. Just like Cooper had. On to bigger and better things.
“Look, we said we were going to keep this light.” He barely made eye contact. “I have things I need to figure out.”
She folded her arms. “And whether or not you love me is clearly one of them.”
She waited, but the I love you never came. “Maybe Fuller is better for you anyway,” he said.
Her stomach took a roller-coaster plunge. “You’re seriously going there?” She bit her lip to avoid saying more. She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand why his restaurant was more important to him than…she was. She just knew that it was.
He shook his head as he got up and headed toward the door.
She stood but didn’t follow him. Because it suddenly occurred to her what was happening here. He wasn’t a stupid teenager dumping her on a sticky note. And he wasn’t Cooper, who didn’t have the capacity to know what real love was. “You can’t run away from yourself, Tony.”
That made him halt, his hand on the doorknob. Jagger and Bowie nearly tripped over each other in their race to get to the door, ready to break free for playtime.
Her head was whirling but she had to speak. “I never cared about how famous you were or whether you play football or any kind of ball. But I do care how kindly you treat everyone around you. How you care about people. How you always have a nice word even if it’s the hundredth photo you’ve taken that day. How you lead your life with character and dignity and without bitterness. I don’t need you to prove that you’re worthy of my love. I just love you for who you are.” She bit her lip, but tears were already leaking down her face. “I love you.”
“I’m sorry, Hadley.” The misery in his eyes made her anger fizzle. “I have to go.”
He turned the knob and walked out. She watched him pick up a duffel bag he’d left by the door. A duffel bag, already packed! He walked down the sidewalk and tossed it in the back seat of his car, just as they had the cute little picnic basket not long ago.
He could not be leaving. She could not be left again, this time by the one man she would always love with her whole heart.
“Fine,” she said, anger welling within her in a great wave. “Enjoy LA.” Then she shut the door.
Chapter 28
Good thing these puppies needed her. Well, the runty little one anyway. That’s why Hadley had volunteered for another night shift, shooing off Ivy and Mayellen, who had already done their share of night duty but had offered to stay anyway because she was upset.
The place was practically glittering from cleanliness. She’d done three loads of puppy towels, scrubbed everything from the counters to the sinks to the floors. She would have swept the parking lot, too, if she’d thought that wouldn’t have attracted some strange looks from passersby.
And when she ran out of work, she sat down next to the puppy pen and cried. She cried for the little runty puppy, who was still weak and drip-feeding every last cc. And she cried for the business she was trying to get off the ground, because there was so much to do. She’d been so eager to do it all—the PR, the partnerships with local businesses, the adoption days, the volunteer program for teens—but now she felt exhausted and overwhelmed.