* * *
LibraGrl: Nice Star Wars reference. See, you’re not as much of a stick in the mud as you pretend to be.
* * *
DrBananaPants: I’m not a stick in the mud.
* * *
LibraGrl: Are too Dee too. But seriously, we’ll have plenty of time to fight on the plane. See you Sunday.
Lying in bed texting Ben fills me with a delicious warmth. I bolt upright as soon as I think that. I chastise myself, “Serafina Lopez, you cannot develop feelings for the enemy. Can. Not. No.”
I hurry to get up and get ready for my date with Chaz. After showering and blowing my hair out, I take extra pains with my makeup. I even use the mascara that makes my eyes look huge. My orange dress pairs nicely with my tanned skin, and when I look in the mirror, I give myself a nod of approval. Eat your heart out, Eva Mendes.
I take a cab to Noodle, even though it’s a distance I would normally walk. After all that work, I don’t want to show up sweaty from my exertions. As good as I look, only Eva can pull off the sweaty and sexy look. The restaurant is packed, and I practically have to fight my way to the hostess stand. “Hi there. I’m meeting Chaz Parker,” I tell the hostess.
“You must be Sarah.” She’s a busty blonde in a killer halter dress that bears a remarkable resemblance to the one Marilyn Monroe was famous for wearing in that picture where her skirt is blowing up. “Please follow me. I’ll take you to Chaz’s table.”
We wind through a maze of tables and chairs and bodies before she stops in front of a half-moon-shaped booth. A truly gorgeous blond man stands up and asks, “Sarah?”
“Hi,” I practically yell to be heard over all the conversations going on around us.
Chef Hotty says, “Please, have a seat. Angelina here will grab us a bottle of Masciarelli Montepulciano d'Abruzzo. The twenty-sixteen,” he tells her.
Once I’m seated across from him, he slides over so we’re side-by-side. “It’s the only way we’re going to be able to hear each other,” he tells me.
“You’ve got a pretty hopping place here.”
“It’s been like this since we opened five years ago.” His smile is truly wondrous to behold with those pillowy soft-looking lips and dazzling white teeth. I might have hit the jackpot with this guy. Charley is a genius.
Angelina shows up again with the bottle of wine, but instead of opening it, she drops it in front of Chaz and says, “I’ll let you open it.” Then she leans in front of him and kisses him. It’s not a friendly little peck either. She practically gives the guy a tonsillectomy and he doesn’t push her away.
Whaaaa …?
When she walks away, Chaz opens the wine and pours it for us. I can’t just sit here and not say anything. I need to know what that crazy kiss was all about. I take a sip of my wine and blurt out, “Angelina seems nice.”
“She’s the best,” he gushes. “I adore her.”
“I got that impression.”
Chaz raises his glass and toasts, “To the most beautiful woman here.”
I take another sip in deference to my hotness. But even so, I feel super weird after what just went down with the hostess with the mostest. The waitress comes over, Chaz jumps up and says, “Sophia, I’m cooking tonight, so you don’t need to take our order.” Then, hand to God, he pulls her to his side and practically ravishes her right in front of me.
He knows I’m here, right?
I’m about to ask him what in the hell is going on when he says, “I’ll go make our appetizers and be right back.” Chaz adds a creepy wink for good measure. I sit back, trying to decide if I should make a run for it now, or get the free meal first. I’m pretty hungry, so I’m thinking free meal. Also, this wine is delicious so I’m going to revenge drink the whole bottle. When my date hasn’t come back in twenty minutes, I stand up and search out the ladies’ room.
That’s when I spot Chaz kissing yet another woman. This one appears to be a customer. My date doesn’t even see me, and that’s when I realize I’m kind of loaded. I don’t need to put up with this garbage in order to eat delicious Italian food. There is no way on God’s green earth I’m going to stay here and be subjected to the antics of this man-whore. I don’t even go back to the table; I just turn around and stagger out of Noodle, but not before saying, “I saw a rat near the ladies’ room,” to every table as I stride by.
Dear Lord, what exactly has happened to the dating world since I last participated in it?
Twenty-Two
Ben
“Mr. Spock hates it if you try to rub under his chin — his reaction is both immediate and severe, so I don’t recommend it,” I tell Alec, who has arrived in time for me to show him around before the car from Wake Up America! picks me up.
I needed someone to watch my beloved tabby, and since Alec has two female roommates that he’s become less than enamored with, he happily agreed to stay at my place. The whole roommate thing was an attempt to meet more women but, much to his chagrin, the only members of the opposite sex Cheryl and Laya have introduced him to are their mothers.
I’ve been going over the rules for not getting clawed by Mr. Spock for the last ten minutes. I’m starting to worry Alec might be having second thoughts about staying here, so I tell him, “Something must have happened to Mr. Spock in his previous life to make him so sensitive.”
Alec gives me a concerned look, then glances at Mr. Spock, who is perched on the back of the couch, eyeing him.
“Oh, also, he really doesn’t like it when people sit on the right side of the couch. That’s his spot, so don’t forget.”
“Got it. So, let me go over this again — no sudden movements, no shuffling my feet, no attempts at picking him up, no chin-scratching, no sitting on the left side of the couch—”
“Right side,” I correct him.
“Damn. Okay,” he answers. “He eats a can of Fancy Feast every morning and the dry food at night. And he likes his litter box cleaned every day or he’ll poop on the rug.”
“Exactly. You really can’t blame him about that. If someone wanted you to walk around on your old feces, you probably wouldn’t like it either.”
“Probably not, but I also don’t poop in a box so…”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “I get it. He’s got very specific needs, but that’s what comes with a rescue. The love he gives back is astronomical.”
“How will I know he loves me? I’m guessing maybe he won’t spit in my cereal?”
“Ha ha.” I check my watch and add, “Everything’s on the printout in case you forget. I also included the number for my hotel, so if you can’t reach me on my cell for some reason, leave a message there.”
“You know he’s a cat, right?”
Ignoring the dig, I pick up my suitcase and open the front door. “Goodbye, buddy. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll … miss you too?” Alec says.