“I need access to student records,” he says. “Old records.”
“You think they’re on a server?” I say. “I thought everything at Kingmakers was written by hand.”
I’m thinking of our acceptance letters, our contracts, our assignments, our grades. My impression was that it was all kept on paper so it could be burned or disposed of with no permanent record.
“There’s nothing in the archives,” Hedeon says, frustrated. “The records must be somewhere else.”
I hold my breath, realizing that Hedeon already asked Saul this question. That’s why he was in Saul’s room the day I bumped into him down in the Undercroft—he wanted Saul to check the archives, which Saul has access to as a library aide.
Saul must have told him there were no records down there.
Which means they must be online.
Or stored somewhere else.
“I don’t know if I can even look,” I tell Hedeon. “All our keystrokes are tracked in the computer lab. I’m sure they have some pretty hefty protection against us accessing the school server.”
Hedeon is already turning away, disappointment clear on his handsome face.
It’s that look of anguish that pricks me, turning curiosity into guilt. I do want to help him.
“Wait!” I say, calling him back.
“What?” Hedeon rounds on me, angry as well as discouraged.
“What about the stables?”
He frowns, not understanding me.
“The night of the Halloween party, I was sitting on a stack of boxes and I knocked them over. There were a bunch of papers inside. Old documents. That couch is from the Chancellor’s office, everybody says. Maybe the papers are too?”
Hedeon considers this, lips pressed tight together.
“I’ll look,” he says. And then, as an afterthought, “Thank you.”
“No problem. I hope it helps.”
His face darkens once more and he growls, “Don’t tell anyone about this, Cat. Nobody. Not even Zoe.”
“I won’t,” I say. “I mean, I don’t even know anything.”
Hedeon looks at me closely, then stalks off.
It’s true, I don’t know anything.
But if Hedeon wants old school records . . . then I’m beginning to guess.
16
Zoe
The weather warms rapidly as we move into spring. Students start throwing more parties out of doors, down at the Moon Beach and in the River Bottoms.
I’ve received three extremely nasty letters from my father after my cousins reported me attending those parties. I crumpled the letters up and threw them away half-read. It might be madness, but I’m starting to think that the plan Miles and I formulated might actually work, which makes me uncharacteristically reckless.
Either way, my father can’t touch me here. He could punish me over the summer. But if Miles’ visit is successful after the school year ends . . . everything will change.
I’m trying not to hope. Trying not even to think about it.
Which isn’t that difficult, because my mind is filled with Miles himself. I’ve never had such a difficult time paying attention in class. Every minute that we’re apart I’m fantasizing about sneaking away with him again. I’m picturing his crooked smile, his low, mocking laugh, his clear gray eyes that remind me of steel, of smoke, of early morning light . . .
I’m picturing his body with his rich, nut-brown skin and his dense muscle, his warm flesh and his even warmer hands that grip and manipulate me like a doll in his arms, while I’m carried away on waves of pleasure that are steep and endless . . .
I had never been happy before, not really. I never knew what it felt like.
Happiness is exhilarating, intoxicating. I’m drunk on it. It makes me believe I can do anything. It makes me believe that everything will be okay.
It’s changing me. And it’s changing Miles, too.
“I’ve never seen him like this,” Anna tells me. “I’m not saying he was a dick before—I mean, he was always nice to me. When he felt like it. But he was obsessed with doing everything his own way, without help. Everybody’s his friend and everybody owes him favors, but ultimately it was about Miles and what he wanted. You’re bringing out the best in him, Zoe. Giving him something to care about outside of himself.”
“I don’t know about that,” I say, blushing. “I’m not trying to change him. I like him exactly as he is.”
Anna laughs. “Oh you do, do you? Have you forgotten the Miles of last year? You really must be falling hard.”
I stare at her open-mouthed. I had actually forgotten that I disliked Miles in my Freshman year. It seems impossible now, like I was a completely different person. Somebody uptight and miserable, which of course is true.
“I hope you keep liking him.” Anna smiles at me. “We could be family.”
The idea hits me like a bolt of pure joy. Anna and Leo as actual family, not just friends . . . Miles as my family . . .
I want it. I want it so badly that it feels like it will tear me apart.
“Are you coming out with us tonight?” I ask Anna.
“I wish I could,” she sighs. “I have three different papers due. Leo’s gonna keep me company in the library, though I shouldn’t let him. He’s more distracting than helpful.”
“Come join us later if you can—”
Chay interrupts us, barging into the room with arms laden with books. She dumps them down on her bed, crying, “Fuck class! Fuck homework! When’s our picnic?”
“In an hour,” I laugh. “Lend me something cute to wear.”
Chay, Ozzy, Miles, and I planned to have a picnic down outside the school grounds. I was hoping Anna and Leo could join us too, but it sounds like they’ll be occupied in the same manner as Cat, drowning in midterm papers.
Anna helps us get ready anyway, picking out a pair of jeans and boots for me to wear. Chay lends me an oversized Queen shirt. I can’t borrow pants from Chay because she’s so much shorter that they’d fit more like capris.
“Let me do your makeup,” Chay demands.
“Not too much,” I warn her.
“I never do too much! On you . . .” Chay amends, laughing.
Chay gives me a nice subtle smoky eye and a little lip gloss. I pull my hair up in a messy ponytail. With the band shirt and Anna’s boots, I feel a tiny bit rockstar. I like it. I never felt “cool” in my life before I met these girls.
Chay spends forty minutes more redoing her own elaborate makeup, until I’m fidgeting with impatience and almost pulling her out the door.
“Alright, alright!” she says, “I’m coming!”
Chay looks surprisingly sweet and feminine in a white summer dress, cardigan, and espadrilles. The pink streaks have faded from her hair, so now it’s just a soft fluffy mane of her usual strawberry blonde, which contrasts nicely against her golden tan.
When we meet up with Ozzy and Miles outside the stone walls of Kingmakers, Ozzy stares at Chay with a stunned expression.
“You’re just . . . perfection,” he says.
Instead of laughing and agreeing like she usually would, Chay says, “That’s really sweet of you to say, Ozzy.”