“If you want me to say it again, give me your word that you will let Adrian go.”
“You’re surprisingly manipulative, Carina.”
I learned from the best. I stare up at Adrian with a smile and he’s watching me with a blank expression. What does that mean? Is he mad at me?
“Fine.” Lazlo steps even closer.
My gaze slides back to him, my hopes soaring. “Give me your word.”
“I give you my word that I won’t harm Adrian.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, repeat what you said earlier, Carina.”
I release Adrian’s hand and hug Lazlo for a brief second, then pull back. “Thank you, Papa.”
He studies me again, seeming taken aback before he clears his throat. “We’ll meet again, Volkov.”
And with that, he exits the room, followed by my uncle, who cuts a sharp glare at Adrian, and the rest of their guards.
As soon as the door closes behind them, I sag against the wall, catching my breath. “God. That was close. I should’ve figured out that Nicolo knew everything.”
My heart beats so loud, it’s as if I’ve just finished a workout. While I knew these types of ordeals were scary, I didn’t think it’d be downright terrifying.
“Why did you do that?”
I raise my head at Adrian’s quiet question. He’s staring down at me with a hand in his pocket and the same expression from earlier.
Straightening, I frown. “What do you mean, why? For you.”
“Who told you to call him Papa for me? Now, he won’t let you out of his sight.”
“What makes you think I want to be out of his sight? I happen to like him and want a relationship with him. What’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see. The fact that he’s the fucking Don and his life is constantly threatened by the Rozettis, and fuck knows who he makes enemies with?”
“You’re being a hypocrite right now, because we both know your life is threatened all the time, too, and yet, I’m still with you, aren’t I?”
“I don’t put you in harm’s way.”
“Oh, then how about the attack after I barely gave birth to Jeremy or the other time at Rai’s gathering?”
“I protected you.”
“After you forced me into this life.”
“So that’s your problem? The fact that I forced you?”
“No. Well, yes. But it’s the fact that you’re still doing it now. You don’t respect me enough or trust me enough to let me make my own decisions.”
“It’s not about respect or trust. It’s about your fucking safety, Lia. I can debate on anything but that.”
“But you don’t! You just map the road out and expect me to follow it.”
“You didn’t have a problem with that before.”
“Of course I did. Why the hell do you think I jumped off that fucking cliff?” I breathe deeply so I don’t have a meltdown. “Just because I didn’t speak up, didn’t mean I was fine. I was hurt countless times and deeply so. I won’t continue to bottle everything inside and let it fester, then eat me alive. I’m not that Lia anymore, Adrian.”
He’s quiet for a second before his calm voice fills the air. “I can see that.”
“Give me something then.”
“I won’t let you put yourself in harm’s way and remain quiet about it, Lia.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I push off the wall and place a hand on his chest. “I’m done settling for scraps. I need more of you.”
“You have me, Lenochka. All of me.”
“Not where it matters.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I might have your care and your protection, but I don’t have your heart.”
“You do.”
“If I did, you would’ve given me more liberties. But you still have these walls where I don’t have the keys to its doors. I know it’s because of your childhood, I know you don’t trust that I won’t leave if you open those doors, but you need to give me those keys. I already opened myself up to you fully, so it’s time you do the same. It’s time you…let go.”
Adrian’s chest tightens against my palm, and I can feel his heartbeat skyrocketing even as he tries to hold on to his eternal calm. “You can ask for anything and I’ll slaughter everything in my path so it’s yours, but I can’t give you what I’m incapable of.”
Tears barge to my eyes. “Is that really what you think?”
“It’s not what I think. It’s the truth.”
My heart breaks, its pieces splintering into the cavity of my chest and prickling the skin. It doesn’t matter if I don’t believe what he’s saying to be true, that I’m certain he can let go if he tried. If he doesn’t believe it himself and keeps his emotions under lock and key, there’s no way I’ll be able to get inside.
And that hurts more than I ever imagined.
“Lia…” He wipes beneath my eyes, taking away the rolling tears. “Don’t cry.”
I push his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
His jaw clenches. “I know you’re upset, but I told you, not touching you is out of the fucking question.”
“Even if you repulse me?” I’m trying to be hurtful at this point, but I don’t care. He’s the one who hurt me first.
I ripped my heart out and placed it on a platter in front of him and he just ignored it.
He grabs me by the chin, tilting my head back so he can peer down at me with his punishing eyes. “Even if I repulse you.”
“I hate you.”
“Lia,” he warns.
“What, Adrian?”
“Take that back.”
“No.”
“If you don’t, I’ll fuck it right out of you.”
“I’ll still hate you.”
He backs me against the wall, using his hold on my jaw and I gasp as my behind hits the solid surface.
The sound is swallowed by his lips on mine. His kiss is imploring, dominating, and harsh, meant to punish me and make me fall to my knees in front of him.
I don’t, though.
Instead of submitting to him as usual, I bite down hard on his lower lip until a metallic taste explodes on my tongue.
If I thought that would stop him, I’m far from right. He grabs both of my wrists and slams them above my head on the wall, but he doesn’t release my mouth.
His tongue darts out, licking the blood before he bites my lip. He doesn’t break the skin, but I whimper at the savage force of it.
As if that isn’t enough, he slips his other hand between my legs. I shiver at his wild touch, at how his palm forces its way against the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh.
He bunches my panties, then rips them off. The motion always, without a doubt, gets my pussy wet and aching.
Adrian thrusts two ruthless fingers inside me, ripping a moan from my throat.
Holy shit.
It doesn’t matter how many times he touches me, every time he does, my body craves his roughness and mercilessness, his punishments and his sadism.
Maybe I have no hope after all, because the moment he starts pounding inside me, I can’t resist the clenching at the base of my stomach or the throbbing of my nipples.