Getting in contact with someone had never been an issue before. Holden would track down the number or it would be one of the four people I spoke to semi-regularly. But I didn’t want Holden getting his number for me. I wanted to ask him for it. Or better yet, have him offer it to me.
I shook my head and set the black washcloth on the counter beside me, grabbing a face towel. No, that wasn’t why I was doing his event.
Water dripped down my chin onto my t-shirt.
Movement behind me caught my eye in the mirror.
Holden stood in the doorway with his suit jacket off and his top button undone. He looked rumpled.
I turned, my stomach beginning the first turns of a knot. “What is it?”
He sighed. His lips pinching together. “I’ve been working on this for over a week now.” He dropped to the edge of the tub big enough to hold three people.
“Tell me.”
Staring up at me, worry and disappointment radiated in his eyes.
“You’re scaring me.” My muscles at the base of my jaw tightened. I gripped the edge of the counter. "Did something happen to my mom?”
He loosened his tie. “It’s Piper’s birthday.”
I slumped against the sink.
“Way to scare the shit out of me.” My laugh was muffled as I patted the hand towel across my face. “It’s December 12th. Mark’s got it all planned out.” I looked at his reflection.
The muscle on the side of his jaw flexed. “And you won’t be able to go.”
Dropping the towel to the counter, I turned to Holden. “No. No. We talked about this. It’s been on the schedule for months. Since I missed her last one. I promised Mark I’d be there.” After missing Parker’s third birthday when I’d been in town, her last birthday, and my birthday celebration that I’d invited her along to before bailing at the last minute, I wasn’t going to miss this.
He shoved his hand into his hair and slipped the rest of his tie knot off, letting it dangle around his neck. “I know. It’s a date with a huge red block around it. But the shift in the schedule, all the rearranging—you have a contract obligation to be in Sydney to fulfill and the knock-on effect with the shifts we’ve made over the past week has pushed things.” He shrugged, an ineffectual, floundering shrug of defeat. “The 12th is the only day we can do it before the end of the year.”
“But…Australia’s ahead of Seattle. We can hop on a flight and get there.”
He shook his head.
“Don’t shake your head. We have to try.” A hint of desperation entered my voice, a cover for the frustration and sadness. I’d promised. My promises weren’t worth much nowadays. Outside of work, it felt like they were broken more than they were kept.
“I have!” He shot up from his spot gripping the edge of the tub. “I have, Bay.” His voice gentled.
“Maybe…” I licked my lips and grasped for something. Anything, but I barely knew where I would be beyond tomorrow, let alone how to rework the 5000 things it felt we did every day. Clasping my hands together, I knocked them against my forehead. Think, Bay. Think.
“Trust me. I’ve gone over this a hundred times. I’ve looked at the flight routes. Flying private doesn’t help. We can’t make it there and get you back to Vienna in time for the next show on the 13th.”
I sagged against the sink. “But I promised Mark.” The words sounded weak, just like all my promises before.
“I know. And I’m sorry I couldn’t pull this off.” A pained expression streaked across his face. “I know you’ve been trying to get there for the past two years.”
“Three.” I stared at the grey splintering pattern of the white marble tiles. “It’s been three years I’ll have missed now.” I tugged on the end of my ponytail. “Do you know where my phone is?” Glancing up, I almost winced at how sad he looked. Was it a reflection of my own face?
He nodded and walked out.
My feet brushed against the carpet on the way to the green high-backed chair in the seating area of my room.
Back in a flash, he held out my phone. “I can do it. I can call Mark.”
“No, it needs to be me. She’s my friend, remember?” An even worse one would send someone else to do her dirty work.
“Do you need anything?”
“A time-turner?”
He searched his pockets before showing me his empty hands.
We traded humorless laughs.
“No, I’m good. I’m going to sleep after this.”
“Five a.m. the trainer will be here, and then we’ve got a full day.”
“When don’t we?”
He stopped, grabbing onto the doorframe looking like there was more he wanted to say.
“It’s okay, Holden. I’ll do it.” My shoulders folded in and I gripped the phone tighter.
His head dropped and he left the room, not letting the door slam behind him. Instead, it latched quietly, leaving me alone with my phone.
I paced the floor, staring at my screen for so long it dimmed. Tapping in my passcode, I closed my eyes. She was my oldest friend. My best friend at one point. It was only a matter of time before I became that person she once knew.
Mark picked up on the first ring and called out to Piper. In the background, kids laughed and yelled, adding to the general commotion of a happy, lively house. “Hey, sweetheart. I’ve got to take this. I’ll be right back.” A door closed. “Hey, Bay. What’s up?”
I grabbed my ponytail and ran my hands over it. “Hey, Mark.”
“You can’t make it, can you?” Disappointment blanketed the sentence, smothering it.
He already knew. That was who I was now. The promise breaker. The one who could never be counted on to pull through. No wonder he’d wanted to make it a surprise. He did what any good husband would do. He protected his wife from letdowns and sadness.
I rushed into apology mode. It was all I had left. “We tried everything. Absolutely everything. I’m so sorry.”
“I know. She knows you’re busy. She’d have loved to see you, but she’ll understand.”
“Once I’m finished with this tour, I swear we’ll finally get to see each other for more than a few minutes backstage. When do you guys leave for your next assignment?” Jumping in with those promises yet again.
“January.”
The tour didn’t end until July. Making promises I couldn’t keep wouldn’t make either of us feel any better right now. “We’ll see what happens.”
“Parker loved his train set. Thanks for that.” His sweetness hurt my heart even more. After letting down his wife and mother of his kids here he was trying to make me feel better about dropping the ball once again.
“Of course.” I fought against the crack trying to creep into my voice. “The birthday boy deserved an extra-special gift. I’ll take care of the whole party.”
“You don’t have to do that. You know we don’t invite you just to get you to pay for things.”
“I know.” The crack broke through. I muted the phone and cleared my throat, staring at the ceiling blinking back the tears.
“We’ll miss you. Parker keeps asking when you’ll be staying in your room again.”