Bay stopped for a second before she dramatically laid down on the floor with the back of her hand pressed against her forehead, chest rising and falling and her arms splayed out beside her.
She peeked with one eye open before closing it.
I got to her before Holden did, crouching beside her. “You need to eat.”
Her eyes glittered with exhausted excitement and playfulness. “Only if you get a spatula to lift me up off the floor.” Sweat glistened on her face and she stared deeper into my eyes. “You’re not bored yet?”
I pushed a sweaty piece of hair from her forehead. “Not in the slightest.”
The worried slant to her lips turned into a full-on smile.
I offered her my hands and she took them, letting me pull her all the way up.
“Hey, Holden. Can we get some food?” She braced her hands on her hips.
“Oh, you mean the food I’ve been trying to get you to eat for the past three hours? No, sorry, Emily ate it all.” Their brother-sister vibe was in full force.
“Hey!” Emily called out from behind him.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, let’s get you some food.”
We grabbed food from the craft services set up, where there were trays of food as well as boxed meals, and found a room that felt more like a closet. It was quiet, though, and we were alone.
“You’ve been busy.”
She nodded, unable to talk with her mouth full of turkey-and-cheese sandwich.
Finally, she was eating. I’d never been happier to see someone with mayo on the side of their mouth.
“Is it always like this?”
“Only leading up to and during a tour.” She took two more bites, her cheeks filled up like a chipmunk. “There are a lot of moving parts and a lot of people to coordinate. I’m so freaking hungry. I should’ve grabbed another sandwich.”
“I can get you one.” I stood.
Her hand shot out and she grabbed me. “No, I’m good for now. I like being here with you.”
The twin desires to stay with her and to get her more food warred inside me. The selfishness of wanting to stay won. “In case you didn’t know, I like being here with you.”
Outside the doors, the commotion was non-stop. “I had no idea all this went into a tour.”
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “Neither did I. The first tour, I think I slept for two days at my mom’s house when I finished.”
“Do you ever—”
A gentle knock broke into our quiet moment. Emily poked her head in.
“Bay, after you eat—Holden was very clear about this—after you eat, the little boy from the viral video is here. It’ll be a quick meet-and-greet.”
“I can go now.”
Emily stared at the unfinished plate of food on her lap. “You haven’t finished your food.”
“I did.” She handed the half-eaten sandwich to me. “I’m full. I don’t want them to have to wait.”
I grabbed her hand when she tried to pass me. “Bay, you haven’t eaten.”
She ducked down. “I know, but this kid is adorable and I want to make this special for him. He was bullied for singing my songs and I don’t want to have to rush. And we only have the space for another two hours and they need to put me up into the aerial rig again.”
“You’re going to eat.” I stood and held both our plates, following her and Emily.
The kid broke down into tears when he saw Bay. He was maybe a little over seven. The bruises on the side of his face from whoever had beaten him up had yellowed, but were still there.
A thud hit me in my chest, the kind I got right before I was dragged back to my childhood. I could feel how the stunned shock of a hit would bloom into a raging fire out from the spot where the fist had connected, spreading across skin and muscle, sometimes bone.
I gulped down air and flinched, trying not to envision the kind of hit it would take to leave a bruise that big. How his parents were standing, I’d never know. I was afraid of what I’d do if someone ever hurt my kid—I didn’t know what I might be capable of. What darkness lurked in me that I’d never fully rid myself of, like a stain on my soul? Shaking it off, I focused on Bay.
She sat on the floor with the kid, showering him with so much attention and praise.
Now her determination made so much more sense.
Every few minutes, I’d sneak her another bite of something. She looked to me with thanks and spent her time singing along to her new best friend, signing every piece of tour swag they had on hand. He was ecstatic and so were his parents.
“He hadn’t smiled since he was attacked, but I swear his lips were going to fall off from how happy he was from the moment the message arrived that he’d be meeting you.” The little boy’s mom held onto both Bay’s hands with tears in her eyes.
My throat tightened. These were good parents, the kind who were torn up by someone hurting their kid. Their sadness was replaced by joy and gratitude at Bay spending a few minutes with them.
Both parents hugged her tight and posed for more pictures. Bay made the little kid promise to keep singing and told him she wouldn’t be offended if they weren’t her songs. They sang one together and she recorded a message to him, telling him to play it whenever he felt down.
She squeezed him tight in another hug before Holden showed up to whisk her away again back out onto the stage.
I followed and shoved a quarter of a sandwich into her hand.
“Thank you.”
“You never have to ask.”
She was rigged up again for another round of flying above the arena’s concrete floor. The floor had no give, and Bay was currently dangling above it. I couldn’t look.
Staring down at the floor, I tried not to freak the hell out.
“Not a fan of heights.” Holden’s shoes came into view.
“Not especially.” I braced my hands on my thighs. “You’re letting her push herself too hard.”
“She does have a mind of her own.”
Straightening, I kept my eyes focused on Holden. “And she’s worried about letting the people around her down. Letting you down.”
“It’s a club big enough for all of us. She does what it takes to stay on top in this game.”
“She’s going to make herself sick.”
“We’ve got an excellent team to make sure she doesn’t this time.”
“This time? Does that mean she’s gotten sick before?”
Her boundary-setting needed work. People would continue to push her and take from her if she let them. And I was another person splitting her already precious time. Old hang-ups and mistakes were hard to shake, but I’d be good for her this time.
“Just learning her limits. We all need to.” His gaze drifted above my head. “She’ll be fine this time. You have my word.”
I looked up at Holden, his gaze trained on Bay like a hawk. I believed him, but it didn’t mean she’d know her limits and stick to them if there was one more thing she could do to make other people’s lives easier or make them smile like that kid.
Two hours later, with the lights shutting off in the arena, we were back in the SUV and headed for our place. Not our place in the way I’d like, but as close as we could get right now.