“Han—”
“I need this, Billy. I need you.”
It was the truth.
His face softened, his hands slowly releasing my wrists. Our manic movements and mouths resumed as we both discarded our clothes, our sensibility. I kissed down his throat and across his chest. His hands held tightly to my hips. I gave him one final kiss before rising to my knees, guiding his tip to my entrance.
“Hannah?” He stopped me again.
“I’m clean. I promise. And I’m on birth control.”
All I wanted was to feel him inside me, nothing between us, for just this one time.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “You sure about this, blondie?”
“Never been surer about anything in my life.”
As he nodded, I slid down the length of him, my head falling back, my eyes closing as I felt all of him filling me. Our hips began to move, and I braced my hands on his firm abs, riding him as my body built toward its climax with each thrust. On the edge of release, he flipped us in one smooth move.
He pinned my hands above my head, his massive muscles straining as he towered over me, driving his hips into me. Strong and powerful.
I cried out his name, a plea on my lips, as he took me all the way home, tumbling and falling. His body tensed with a few final, slow thrusts, falling right along with me.
Heavy and sated, his body rolled off of me, pulling me along with him. He spooned my body while dropping soft kisses along the warm, damp skin of my shoulder.
“Shit, Hannah. That was…”
“Yeah,” I breathed.
It was everything.
We sat on his kitchen floor with our legs stretched out and backs pressed against the cabinets, each with a different flavored pint of ice cream. We’d been so hungry and worn out we hadn’t even made it to the table.
I grinned over at a shirtless Billy, wearing only some black athletic shorts and nothing else. I didn’t have much more on—a pair of panties and one of his T-shirts.
I licked the spoon, making sure to get every bit of ice cream off of it. “I think this is my new favorite.”
“No way”—he shook his head, diving his spoon into the carton for another bite—“butter pecan is the best damn ice cream to ever be invented.”
“How can you say that when there’s rocky road ice cream? I mean come on…chocolate, marshmallows, nuts.”
“Well, I know how you like your nuts.”
“Watch it mister”—I pointed my spoon at him—"or you may be missing yours in the morning.”
“Guess I’ll be sleeping with one eye open tonight.”
I bumped my shoulder playfully against his. He smiled easily and put his arm around me, keeping me there as I leaned in, resting my head on him. I was going to miss this little game we’d started—a challenge to learn everything we could about each other in a short amount of time.
I felt the press of his lips against the hair on my head. Something about it was too much for me; I could no longer hold back what had been eating at me all day. I had to tell him. The sooner the better. Nothing good ever came from not being completely honest upfront.
“I have an interview.”
The words were barely above a whisper, but I knew he heard them. His body stiffened beside me, his hand slowing its up and down movement on the outside of my arm.
“That’s great, Han.”
The words were forced. I didn’t need to see his expression to know he was trying to be positive. He wanted to support me, even though it meant the end of us.
I let the other shoe drop. “It’s Monday.”
He drew his arm from my body as he shifted away from me, climbing to his feet. I remained stagnant on the floor as I watched him place his ice cream back in the freezer and toss his spoon into the sink.
He stood with his back to me and I could feel it.
The shift.
The push and pull.
I was already losing him, and I hadn’t even left yet.
“Billy?”
He didn’t answer. His head lifted from its downward gaze at the sink.
“Maybe we should talk about this.”
“About what, Hannah?” He turned to face me, his whole body hard and cold. For the briefest of moments, I swore I saw regret behind his eyes.
I crossed my arms protectively over my stomach, feeling gutted and tormented.
“I…I don’t know,” I admitted, looking away from him. I couldn’t stomach the look in his eyes as he stared back at me.
Neither one of us spoke, both just waiting for the other to snap and call it what it was: a good time while it lasted.
He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing both palms over his face. “Damn it, Hannah. I’m sorry.” He took a step toward me—a temporary white flag being waved. He tugged lightly at my hand. “Let’s just go to bed. It’s late and we’re both exhausted.”
I nodded in agreement, releasing my arms and squeezing his hand in return as I followed him down the hall.
I thought it was all just a bad dream, the distance I felt as we fell asleep the night before. With my stomach in knots, I picked up my morning note, hoping for something that would tell me it’d all be okay. I flipped open the card the way I’d done every morning, but the small smile on my face was short lived as I read his words.
Have to work late today. I’ll meet you at Tucker and Lottie’s.
I closed the card, putting it back on the bedside table. I had no idea what I expected from him when he heard my news, but this wasn’t it. It was like that first morning last year all over again. He was pushing me away.
Part of me wanted to curl in on myself and wallow in self-pity, but the stronger part of me—the one that knew I meant more to him than this and deserved more from him than this—told me to get my ass out of bed and carry on through my day. I’d known what would be waiting for me at the end of this road when I took it. Now it was time to deal with the consequences.
Chapter 13
HANNAH
With a sense of déjà vu, I walked through the front door of the old farmhouse Lottie had inherited from her mother. The last time I was here, it was an evening much like this one—a cookout with friends, my last night in town, on the verge of having my heart broken completely by Billy Miller.
“Lottie?” I called as I made my way down the hall, noticing how homey and lived in everything was.
Tucker had remodeled the place for Lottie and had done a beautiful job transforming it from an old, run-down farmhouse to a beautiful modern and sleek one. It still had its classic charm and character, but the finishes throughout had been updated to light and vibrant, with hints of darker contrasts in the wood floors and kitchen counters.
“We’re in here!” Lottie called as I rounded the corner, where it opened up into the gorgeous new kitchen built for a chef.
“Hey!” I said, forcing a smile onto my face, holding up a bottle of wine. “I brought refreshments.”
“Nice!” Leighton jumped down from her stool at the island, snatching the bottle from my hand. “I’ll do the honors of opening it.”
Lottie wiped her hands down the front of her apron as she came around the island to hug me. I held in a giggle as she did. It was weird seeing her so domestic.