“Then let’s go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. There’s probably nothing else to do around this town anyway, right?” I joke.
“Well, there is me.”
Fuck. Me. “You’re so fucking hot, Sierra. And I will do you. I’m going to fuck you senseless until you’re coming so hard you’re screaming my name.”
“Oh…oh my,” she breathes. “Today’s going to go by slow now that I know what’s waiting for me.”
I chuckle, imagining her pretty face and missing the feel of her body against mine. “How long do you get for lunch today?”
“I’m the only one there today, so I don’t really get an official break, but I can sneak into the backroom whenever I want.”
“You’re the only one there?” I echo, not liking the idea of Sierra being at the store alone. It’s not the first time she’s worked alone, yet for some reason, a bad feeling starts to rise inside me.
Is it because I’m starting to care—really fucking care—about her?
“Yeah. Friday mornings are always pretty slow. Janet comes in at two. I usually stay for a while to make sure she’s good and then I can leave around three-ish. If it weren’t for the new books coming in, today would seriously drag. Is it weird to say I miss you? I saw you yesterday.”
I blink, forcing away thoughts of all the bad things that could happen to Sierra as she steps into the backroom of the shop, innocently dashing away to get a book. I know because I’ve done quite a few bad things.
“It’s not weird.” My voice comes out flat. I get up and go to the window, blinking as the sun shines off the water and into my eyes. “Because I miss you too. I feel like I’m addicted to you.”
“Are you worried you’ll overdose?”
“That would be the best way to go. I’ll see you tonight, Sierra.”
“Bye, Chase.”
“I miss that sound,” Josh says, looking at the river below the large living room window. It’s a little after noon, and he just came over with pizza and beer, having been kicked out of the house by Melissa, who’s in some crazy nesting phase right now and wants to reorganize everything.
“It’s relaxing. I’ve grown accustomed to it at night.”
“I didn’t sleep for a whole fucking week after I moved out of here.” Josh turns away from the window and sits on the couch, taking another slice of pizza. “It was too quiet at the new place Melissa and I bought.”
“I do like it at night. Though I sleep just fine at Sierra’s.”
Josh grins. “You two have been spending a lot of time together.”
“I suppose.”
“Really? ‘I suppose’ is all you’re going to fucking say to that?”
I bring my beer to my lips. “What do you want to know?”
“Is shit serious?” he asks casually.
“It hasn’t been very long,” I reply, knowing Josh is hoping I’ll say yes because he thinks if I do, Sierra and I will be married with babies not long from now. He wants me to stay, and I believe that he genuinely wants me to be happy. Besides Sierra, he’s the only person who hopes for happiness for me.
It’s fucking weird.
“I knew I wanted to marry Melissa on our third date.” He puts his fist to his chest. “You just feel it, in here.” He shrugs. “At the very least, you’re having fun with her, I’m sure.”
I nod, letting his words sink in. I do just feel it when it comes to Sierra. Not about marriage or babies or anything like that, but feeling like I’m home. “She is fun.”
“You two met before,” Josh tells me. “The first time you came to Summer Hill. She was only like a year or two old then. I graduated with her brother, and we used to hang out before he moved away. We were at the house and Mrs. Belmont came to pick Scott up. Sierra was with her. I remember because Scott and I caught snakes to scare his sister with. We were expecting Sam and not Sierra.”
“I don’t remember that at all. It’s kinda fucking with my head, trying to think back. I try not to remember too much from my childhood.”
Josh frowns. “I’m sorry I didn’t say more to Dad about it.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”
The rumbling sound of a truck drowns out the gentle babbling of the river. I get up to see what’s going on in the parking lot.
“Are you expecting a UPS shipment today?” I ask Josh.
“Nope. It must be for you.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t order anything.”
Knowing the delivery guy is going to be confused to have been taken to a bar, we go downstairs and outside, meeting him in the parking lot.
“Chase Henson?” he asks.
“That’s me,” I say, looking at the small box in his hands. I have to sign for it, and as soon as I see the shipping label, I realize it’s my phone, sent back from the Apple store with a new screen. There was a time I didn’t think I could live without this thing, now I’m not even excited to get it back. Just how disconnected I was from my previous life didn’t hit me until right now, as I feel the light weight of the box in my hands.
I haven’t talked to anyone I used to in weeks. I haven’t thought about working a job in even longer. And it’s really fucking nice. Maybe I won’t turn this phone back on. Maybe I should keep it in this box and forget that part of me completely.
Start over fresh in Summer Hill.
With Sierra.
“I bet you’re happy to get that back,” Josh says as we walk back up the stairs to the apartment. “You can let your friends know you’re still alive.”
“Hah, yeah.” There’s only one person I trust enough to consider a friend, and not talking to him for days or even weeks at a time is nothing out of the ordinary. Not talking to him might be a good thing. We tend to get into trouble when we’re together.
Josh and I go back upstairs and watch a couple of episodes of Breaking Bad—Josh was appalled when I said I hadn’t seen it. After he leaves, I do the shit I’ve been putting off: grocery shopping and straightening up the apartment. I get done a little before Sierra calls, saying she’s going to go home to take care of her cats and get changed, then she’ll be over.
I shower and throw fresh sheets on the bed, then end up watching another episode of Breaking Bad. I turn the TV off and stand, looking at the brown box on the counter. As much as I want to forget about the past, I know I should at least turn on the damn phone and get my mom’s number off it. It might be sad I don’t know her number off the top of my head. It’s changed multiple times over the years, and we rarely talk. There’s no point in memorizing it. Still, she’s my mother and though she resents the hell out of me, I need to know if something happens.
The phone is completely dead of course and will take a few minutes before it even turns on. I plug it in and forget about it as soon as Sierra knocks on the door. She’s wearing a coral-colored dress that shows off her perfect tits and hugs her tight around the waist before flaring out, giving the whole thing a contradicting sexy-yet-innocent look that instantly turns me on.