Sierra never told me about her brother in Orlando. I heard it on a message and slipped up. I can’t be that careless again. What she’s told me and what I’ve heard from the messages blur together in my brain. I need to forget everything I wasn’t supposed to hear.
Or better yet, I could come clean. Almost clean? Tell her I listened to the first one then deleted the rest. It doesn’t sound as bad. I sigh and look at the messages. There are more that I haven’t listened to, and that last message calls to me.
Why is it the last?
What made Sierra finally stop calling?
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell myself out loud. I need to delete them all. Move on and not bring this up again until Sierra and I are happily married with a kid or two. It’ll be a thing of the past and she’ll be annoyed for half a day then get over it because clearly we were meant to meet and end up together.
Whoa.
The thought comes so naturally to me it’s jarring. I feel so strongly for Sierra already and know I’ll never meet another woman like her in my life. I have to delete the messages.
My other phone rings, and I snatch it off the nightstand. I haven’t heard back from Jax, and I’m starting to worry. When I see Beth’s number and not Jax’s, the worry intensifies. Not wanting to talk to her, I let the call go to voicemail. She leaves a message, and my heart is in my throat when I push play.
“Chase, baby,” she starts and I can tell right away she’s drunk. Beth is usually drunk. “Where the fuck are you? I haven’t had a decent lay since the last time we were together. Fucking hell, I miss your cock. You better not be dead.”
There was a time when her dirty-talk was a turn on in an I-know-I’m-getting-some sense. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed sex with Beth, as well as with the previous women I dated or hooked up with. Compared to what I have with Sierra…it’s all nothing. Am I finally seeing the difference between fucking and making love? I always thought the latter would be lame, tender, boring sex, but it couldn’t be further from the truth with Sierra. I’m fucking her, that’s for sure, but it’s more than physical.
I put the phone back down and get situated under the covers. After half an hour of lying in bed wide awake, I get up and go into the main living area. The cabinets in the kitchen are dated, with the oak stained a dusty-colored brown. The wallpaper in lieu of a backsplash is ugly and peeling, and the original hardwood floors are in need of some major TLC before they have to be replaced completely.
Dark paneling has been put up along one wall, covering the brick. It’s dark, cheap, and makes this place feel like a time capsule back to the early 80s. It makes me cringe every time I see it, and the smell of musk clings to the compressed wood. If I’m going to make this place mine, I need to make some changes.
“Wow,” Sierra says, stepping over a pile of broken paneling. “You’re making good progress.”
I rip another piece of paneling off the wall and toss it with the rest. I was up until four am last night tearing shit apart and picked up where I left off when I got up.
“The brick is in good shape,” I note, moving to the last section to tear off. “I was a little worried there was a reason it was covered up.”
Sierra comes closer and touches the wall. I know her well enough now to know exactly what’s running through her mind. These walls have seen so much over the decades. I remove the last piece of paneling and toss it into the pile. Despite the air conditioner being on, the sunlight has warmed up this space and I’m sweating from the physical labor. I wipe sweat from my face and chest, and Sierra goes to the fridge, getting me a glass of ice water.
“Thanks,” I tell her and drink it all.
“Seeing you all hot, sweaty, and shirtless is turning me on,” she tells me, biting her lip and running her fingers over her stomach, which is exposed from the crop top she’s wearing. “Just add a hardhat and a tool belt and I’d feel like I just walked onto a porn set.”
“I can roll with that,” I say and grab her by the waist. Sierra hooks her arms around me, widening her legs and pressing her hips into mine. “Well, ma’am, I’ve just finished the renovations on your apartment and need to collect my payment.”
“Oh no,” she says, shaking her head. “I don’t have any money. Is there any other way I can pay you?”
She’s naked and on top of me in a matter of seconds, and we end up on the floor between the couch and the large window. We’re both sweaty when we’re done and get in the shower together.
“What time do you have to go to the bar tonight?” Sierra asks me as we get dressed.
“Around nine. Earlier if it’s busy.”
Sierra makes a face. “It might be busy. There’s a town meeting tonight about the Fourth of July Fest at seven. They usually last an hour or so and everyone needs a drink after.”
I laugh as I pull on boxers and sit on the bed. Sierra skips her bra and puts her shirt back on. The faint outline of her nipples is visible, making me want to fuck her all over again. “Do you go to those meetings?”
“I have before. Lisa and I had the bright idea to be on the town council a few years ago. They take that shit seriously. We got off it as fast as we could.”
“What’s the deal with the Fourth of July Fest? I heard people talking about it at the bar last night.”
“The town shuts pretty much down for the day. There’s a parade in the morning, a cookout, drinking, and dancing during the day, and then fireworks at night. Last year Josh hosted the after-party in the bar’s parking lot. It was a lot of fun. Since the babies are due close to the holiday, someone else is doing it this year. Speaking of babies, have you heard from him at all?”
“The last I heard Melissa got her epidural and was getting ready to push.” I make a face at the thought, and Sierra mirrors it.
“That’s exciting! But I can’t imagine pushing two babies in a row like that. Do you know what names they picked out?”
“They had a few picked out but weren’t choosing until they met the boys. We can go visit them tomorrow if you want.”
“Are they at Mercy?”
“Yeah.”
Sierra’s face pales. “I don’t think…the last time…” Her eyes flutter closed and she takes a breath before looking at me. “The last time I was at Mercy, I held Jake’s hand as he died. I…I don’t think I can go back yet. I’m sorry.”
Her words bring hurt to my heart. Both at her loss—I didn’t know she watched him die, that she saw him take his final breath—and that what we have isn’t enough. It’s stupid, and probably immature to think I could love her enough to erase the pain of the past. But that’s what she’s doing to me.
“I understand and don’t be sorry. We can see them at home.”
“You should go,” she says. “I can tell you want to, and I think it’s sexy you want to see your nephews.”
“I’ll make sure to send you pictures of myself holding the babies then.”
Sierra gives me a coy smile. “Make sure you do.”
I grab a shirt from the closet and put it on. “You said you like to decorate, right?”