The thing with Hollis, though, is that I never have to wonder if he’ll be ready, if he’ll be okay with me stealing some comfort from him.
He always is.
His arms wrap around me tight, snug like he’s not prepared to let go anytime soon. His body heat warms my palms at his shoulder blades. When he tenses, I worry that I’ve done something wrong only to realize I’m crying, and my tears are soaking the front of his cotton T-shirt.
He runs his hands over my back soothingly. “It’ll be okay,” he whispers against the top of my head, his breath feathering strands of my hair. “I’ve got you.”
Vaguely, I realize he shifts and loops an arm beneath my legs, hefting me into his arms. He carries me to my bed and sets me down. Lifting the covers for me to get situated beneath them, he says, “Gotta get you tucked in.”
I scoot in and let him tuck the covers around me. When he leans back, I panic.
“Wait!” I hiss quietly. I swallow hard. “Can you…lie with me for a minute?”
He hesitates and just when I think he’s fixing to say no, he slides his cell phone from the pocket of his pajama pants. “Let me set the alarm, just in case I fall asleep.”
My panic eases as he taps on the screen of his phone before circling the bed to slip off his flip-flops and settles on top of the comforter. I instantly move to curl up at his side. When his arm curves around me, holding me close, I rest a palm over the center of his chest where his heart thumps in soothing, steady beats.
“I never wanna be like her.” I swallow hard. “Please promise me you won’t let me turn into her.”
“You could never be like her.” With his next words, I detect a hint of a smile in his voice. “You’re too good. Sweet. Kind. Smart.” He presses a kiss to my hair. “I knew it the instant we met.”
We lie here in comfortable silence while the moonlight casts shadows inside my room.
“Thanks for keepin’ my stuff safe.”
“I put everythin’ in the treehouse. It’ll stay there as long as you want.”
A beat of silence passes, and my eyelids grow heavy as sleep threatens to pull me under.
“I love you, Hollis,” I whisper, my words a bit slurred as I close my eyes. Just for a moment, I promise myself. I’ll close them for a second, but I don’t want to fall asleep just yet. I feel so safe right now.
“But not like that,” he finishes softly. Then, with his lips pressed against my hair, he whispers, “Go to sleep, Magnolia. Everythin’ll be fine.”
With him holding me tight like this, I know he’s telling the truth.
Magnolia
FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
Church has always been okay. Not great, but it’s also not torture. It’s just…church.
Normal Sundays involve my mother having to give the final approval on my outfit and hair after I get ready—because image is everything to her and Roy—and then we drive to Holy Cross Church.
Before Hollis moved into the house behind us, I’d attend Sunday school and suffer through sitting near Lora Ann Bayer and her minions. They always preened and said all the right things in front of our Sunday school teacher, who also happened to be our school librarian, Miss Dunkirk.
Of course, when the woman was out of earshot or not paying attention, Lora Ann would toss out the zingers.
“If you smile on a windy day, does the wind whistle through that gap in your teeth?”
“Y’all, how much food gets stuck in there?”
Sometimes, they’d draw a stick person with a shaded-in rectangle between the front teeth. And then they’d be so kind as to give it to me. Like it was a precious gift.
When Hollis started coming to our church—or more importantly, when I’d conned him into coming to Sunday school with me—things changed.
Not immediately, though, but the change was noticeable.
Back then, I’d vaguely recognized that he was a cute boy. It wasn’t something that nagged at me every second of the day, but more of a Sure, he’s cute. Now, can we get back to playin’ Barbies? kind of thing.
When I showed up at Sunday school that first time with Hollis in tow, I remember how surprised Lora Ann and the others had been. Like they couldn’t understand what he was doing with me.
The first time they’d made a joke about me and my teeth and looked at him, waiting for Hollis to laugh along with them, his angry glare was so harsh, it’d even had me rearing back.
He’d shut them down every single time they tried to say something mean.
I never told him, but that day, Hollis became more than my friend. He became my very best friend. And my hero. Someone who wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. At least not if he could help it.
Now, six years later, not much has changed.
I grin as Hollis strides up to me with his dad a few steps behind. I stand here, with my parents on either side of me, inside the entrance to the church hallway leading to where all the Sunday school classes are held, greeting everyone.
He draws to a stop in front of me after he shakes Roy’s hand. Holding out a hand to me, I roll my eyes with a little laugh and shake it. He winks and moves on to my mother.
“Good mornin’, Mrs. Barton.” He flashes her a polite smile, and she begrudgingly eyes his nice dress pants and button-down shirt.
“Good mornin’, Hollis.” Her tone is cool, which is the usual for her when it comes to anything related to Hollis.
He tips his head to the side. “Would you mind if I walked Magnolia to class?”
My mother’s mouth parts, and I know even before she says a word that she’s about to say no. But Roy beats her to it.
“That’s nice of you to offer, Hollis.” My stepdad grins at Hollis’ dad. “Fine young man you’re raisin’, Jay.”
I slip past my parents and out of the greeting line before my mother can protest. Grabbing Hollis’ hand, I practically drag the poor boy down the hall to our class.
“Where’s the fire, Barton?” He laughs, tugging on our joined hands to slow me down.
I glance at him with a smile. “Thanks for savin’ me.”
“Anytime.”
We enter the room and take our usual seats, and the relief at having him by my side is replaced with something that makes my stomach churn. The other girls start flirting with him, and it makes me really uncomfortable.
“Y’all are just friends, right?” Lora Ann asks with an overly sweet smile.
Hollis eyes her cautiously, much like one would watch a rattlesnake a few feet away from where they stand. “You know Magnolia and I are friends.”
She lays a hand on his arm. “Of course.” She laughs even though she didn’t say anything funny. “Silly me, thinkin’ anyone would have a crush on her.”
Hollis’ lips part—probably to defend me—but then Miss Dunkirk announces the start of class, and everyone quiets down.
I work hard to shove that entire conversation out of my mind, but the thoughts linger, taunting me.
It hurt when Lora Ann acted like no one could have a crush on someone like me.
Even more than that, though, is how I find a tiny part of me wondering if Hollis agrees.