He nods. “Your father emphasized this when we drew up the will. You’re responsible for determinin’ what funds”—his eyes lower to the paperwork in front of him before they lift to mine—“if any, should be allotted for her livin’ expenses.” He grimaces as if he’s about to deliver worse news. “I hate to say this, son, but your father contacted me about a week and a half before he passed with an odd request.”
Odd? I don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.
Mr. Yates withdraws a thick, sealed envelope from the file and hands it to me. “He asked me to make sure you received this. That you were the only person I could deliver it to.”
I take the envelope in my hands, my thumb brushing over the way my father scrawled my name on the front. I’m not sure why, but an uneasy feeling settles over me.
Mr. Yates rises from his chair. “If you’ll come with me, I can show you to the conference room and leave you to read that in case there’s anythin’ I might need to help you with.”
I rise from my seat and follow him down the hall to a room. There’s a small oval table with a handful of comfortable-looking chairs surrounding it.
“Thank you,” I manage to get out. He simply nods and closes the door behind him.
I sink down into a leather chair and draw in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Then I carefully rip open the envelope. When I slide out the stapled, folded papers, I smooth them out, fighting against the way they want to crease and fold back up.
Hollis,
I went back and forth with whether I should write this, but in the end, I knew I couldn’t leave you without the truth. I just wish I’d had the courage to tell you myself.
Before I get into that, I need to tell you how proud I am of you. I’ve always been impressed by the way you handle yourself, even as a young boy. You’re a rarity in this world, and I hope you realize that regardless of how much money you have in your pocket, you’re an impressive and smart young man. Whatever you come away with after reading this, please know that I’ve always loved you and admire the man you’ve become.
When you flip this page over and see what I’ve included, I hope you’re not angry with me—
With trepidation coursing through me, I thumb the top corner of the paper and turn it over to reveal what’s stapled behind it.
A check? What the fuck?
All oxygen is ripped from my lungs when I scan the names listed on the check. I’m baffled by what I see and hurriedly turn back to read the rest of my father’s letter.
Grace Barton offered me this check to coerce me into convincing you to go to a different university. Pride made me refuse the money even though it was more than enough to cover a full year at another school. She insisted I keep the check, likely thinking I’d change my mind. I reckon not many people refuse the Bartons’ money.
Maybe you’ll be upset with me, but I knew I couldn’t do that to you. I’d already done enough in pushing you to be the family’s first college graduate. But I see the potential in you, son. I know you’re meant for great things. Whatever career path you set out on, I’ll always be supportive of you.
Now, for the hard part.
Christ. The hard part? I internally scoff. How is any of this not hard? I scrub a hand down my face, weariness taking hold, but I know I need to read on. I turn to the next page, where he continues.
Many moons ago, I fell in love with a young girl—your mother. She was full of life, laughter, and more beautiful than anyone I’d ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately, she didn’t return the feeling. You see, she was in love with someone else.
He came from a well-to-do family, and your mother’s family lived on the outskirts of town. She wore hand-me-downs, or her mother, who had a gift for sewing, made her clothing. She’d sneak away to be with this boy. He never brought her around his parents, but she thought things might change. Then she got pregnant, and she was sure things would change after that.
She was wrong. He rejected her because he knew his parents wouldn’t approve. They would disown him, and he was prepared to graduate high school and head to Auburn University like the men in his family before him. They’d been founders of the university. He couldn’t throw away everything just for a girl he got pregnant.
I’d been her friend—her best friend—and I knew I had to step in. I told her I’d marry her as soon as we graduated. That she’d be taken care of. I loved her more than anything in this world, and I knew I’d take having her in my life however I could. I thought she might grow to love me.
Instead, your mother grew distant as time passed. It became worse after you were born. Maybe because you resemble him a bit, and she had to face the reminder of the boy who rejected her. I don’t know, son, but what I do know is, I loved you the moment I first laid eyes on you. And when I held you in the hospital, I knew I’d do everything in my power to protect you and ensure you had the best I could provide.
I know my job didn’t allow us to have many extras, but I hope you know I loved you like you were my own. I never thought of you in any other way. To me, you’ve always been my son.
But now, maybe you can understand your mother a little more. I’m not telling you this to excuse her behavior but, rather, to give you this information. When my job brought us down here, and she insisted on the house we bought, I knew there was more to it but went along with it because she seemed almost happy. It was brief, of course, and I reckon she thought things would turn out differently.
Forgive me for not telling you before. The last thing I ever want is to cause you pain. I never knew how to say it, and I was afraid. I was scared to lose the one person who taught me about love. The person who inspired me to be a better man.
My son.
You may hate me, but please know I’ve always tried to do my best by you. I consider you my son, and I need you to know you’ve made me so proud and always have, regardless of what anyone else says—especially your mother.
If you want to reach out to the man who is your father—God, that hurts just writing it—you don’t have far to go. Just be careful, Hollis. I don’t know if he realizes who you are or not.
Know that I’ve always loved you, son. It doesn’t matter if you’re my blood or not. It never once mattered to me.
Be happy and learn from my mistakes. Never let a day go by when anyone makes you feel subpar. Pave your own way. Know that I’ll be watching over you and loving you always.
Love,
Dad
I grind the heels of my palms against my eyes, damp from tears attempting to escape. Fuck. I don’t even know what to make of this. It’s like my entire world has toppled off its axis.
When I flip the page and come to the last thing included in the stapled stack of papers, my breath lodges in my chest.
Staring down, with fresh eyes, at the photograph of the man I’ve come to know, I now notice the small similarities. The shape and color of his eyes and his square jawline. Although I inherited my mother’s dark hair and lips, I can’t believe I never noticed this before.
Then again, every interaction I’ve had with the man hasn’t exactly been relaxed or easy. He’s always busy grilling me about my friendship with his stepdaughter.
Magnolia.
Hollis