“Nervous? You, Carson Stone, nervous?”
“Yeah.” He grows serious. “Damn, Milly, you have absolutely no clue how amazing you are, do you?” My grin falls when I hear the tone in his voice. “When I first saw you in the weight room, I thought you were pretty, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to accept everything about you. But the moment you stepped out on this field and schooled me, I knew you were something special. The more we worked together, the more I found it harder and harder to keep my hands to myself, the more I found it difficult to hide my attraction. And when I took small chances to show you how I felt, to give you a hint toward what I was feeling, you fled before I could take my next breath.”
“Because I was so desperate for you,” I answer. “Because I didn’t want you to see how I reacted to you, how much I wanted you to be mine. Not because I wanted nothing to do with you. I wanted all of you. It’s why I fled the dining hall, why I had a hard time getting up on my bed, why I didn’t go to the party. I was so nervous of exposing my true feelings, worried you’d then politely let me down.”
“Jesus.” He scrubs his face and laughs. “Shit, Mills, could you imagine where we would be now if we’d actually given in to our feelings instead of hiding them?”
“Probably in the same spot, because I’m really awkward and make things weird.”
“Well, if what we have is weird, I really like weird. I really like you, Milly. A lot.”
Total elation fills me as I try to process his words.
Carson Stone, the boy who I quickly crushed on, actually likes me. Milly, the girl who doesn’t know how to dress herself or do her hair, but she can pick out the spin of a baseball from twenty feet away. He likes me.
It’s almost too much to handle.
“So how about that date? You up for it?” he asks.
Am I up for a date with Carson? I’ve shamelessly dreamt of this moment since we started training together. There is no way I’d say no at this point, not after that speech, not after his beautiful words, and surely not after that kiss.
If he wants me, he can have me. All of me.
“I must say, your food spread is so refined.” I pick up a mini Nutter Butter and plop it in my mouth.
Spread out on a plastic dining hall tray in his attempt of a charcuterie board is a combination of caramel M&M’s, Nutter Butters, Bugles, Combos, Red Vines, and carrots in a cup. The carrots, because he said he loves them. It made me laugh.
“Thank you.” He leans back on one hand, a Red Vine hanging out of his mouth. “Some people might call it fancy.”
“Really fancy, and the orange soda really adds to the level of posh and sophistication.”
“That’s exactly what I was going for, sophistication.” He kisses the tips of his fingers like a douche.
“I also enjoy sitting on your face,” I say, taking in the Carson Stone picture blanket he laid out on the grass.
His head lulls to the side and he stares down at me. “I expect to hear you say that more than once.” He winks, and the minute the innuendo hits me, my face heats up. He sees my embarrassment and asks, “What? Never sat on a guy’s face before?”
“Oh my God, Carson.”
He laughs and pokes my side. “Come on, if we’re dating, we can talk about this kind of stuff.”
“Yeah, I know, but I need you to realize something. I’ve only hung out with guys. I honestly don’t have any girlfriends and yeah, it might be weird, but I’ve just gotten along with guys better.”
“Okay, that’s fair, but what does that have to do with telling me if you’ve ever sat on a guy’s face?”
I do love how candid Carson is.
“Because I don’t ever talk about this kind of stuff . . . like ever. Shane and Jerry joke around about sex but we never go into anything serious, and Lord knows I don’t talk to my brothers about it. So it’s just weird for me.”
He reaches out and pulls me toward him, situating me so I’m straddling his lap and staring at him as he leans back on his elbows. It’s unfair how attractive he is with his carved jawline and daring eyes. He literally makes me lose my train of thought.
“No need to be weird around me. Trust me, I think we passed weird the night you shoved a cookie in my mouth.”
I cover my eyes with both my hands and groan. “God, I’d hoped you’d forgotten about that by now.”
“Mills, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever forget about that. It’s one of my favorite memories of you. The look of pure terror on your face.” He chuckles. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Glad I could humor you.”
He squeezes my thigh, sending a new thrill up my leg to my core. Oh boy, I’m pretty sure I’m far too attracted to this man if my body is reacting like that to a light squeeze.
“Okay, stop avoiding the question.”
Sighing, I say, “No, I have not sat on a guy’s face.”
“Good.” He slyly smiles. “You can do that with me for the first time.”
“And here I thought I was weird.”
“You’re telling me you didn’t have any naughty thoughts of me?” He draws a lazy circle on my knee.
I shift on his lap, feeling the contraction of his abs beneath me. “I mean, of course I did. I’m human.”
“Yeah?” His smirk grows even wider. “Tell me all about them.”
“No.” I cross my arms over my chest. “That’s embarrassing.”
“Hey now, what happened to being open and honest with each other?” He pins me with his question. I hate that he has a point, but sex dreams? Fantasies? We just kissed like half an hour ago. “How about this, I’ll tell you one and you tell me one, and I’ll go first.”
“I guess that’s fair.” I bite my bottom lip, feeling nervous but excited.
“My top one is easy—you in my jersey, unbuttoned, with nothing else on besides a thong and my hat. I swear I’ve jacked off to that image at least a dozen times.”
I choke on my own saliva and start coughing uncontrollably, causing him to laugh and rub his hands over my thighs until I can control myself. Did he really just say that?
He’s masturbated to me?
Well, that’s something I didn’t know.
“Weren’t expecting to hear that, were you?”
“Nope.” I laugh and shake my head. “Not even a little.” I pause and lean forward, whispering, as if I speak any louder, the sacred outfield grass could hear me. “You’ve thought of me that way?”
“Hell yeah.” He continues to rub my thighs. “You’re gorgeous, Milly. I’d be broken if I didn’t think about you that way.”
A blush creeps up the back of my neck. “No one has ever spoken to me like that.”
“Well, you’ve been hanging around the wrong people. Can I ask you a serious question?”
“Yeah.”
“And don’t get mad at me, okay? But, are you a virgin? And it doesn’t matter to me if you are, that won’t change anything. Just thought I’d ask so I know for the future.”
I smile softly at him and press my hand against his chest. “No, but that was sweet to ask. I might be naïve when it comes to the romance thing, but I’ve had a couple hookups along the way. Trust me though, nothing that’s blown my mind. They were more of, I’m slightly drunk and lonely.”