We walk away, and behind me I hear Andrea apologizing to Wyatt, who I’m certain doesn’t want to hear it.
I open the truck door for Tenley and wait for her to climb in. She pauses in the seat, the seat belt stretched midair in her hands, and says, “And here I was thinking a small town couldn’t possibly hold as much drama as LA.”
“Believe me, Tenley,” My fingers tighten around the door as I move to close it. “This place holds plenty.”
19
Warner
Tenley’s entire frame is relaxed. I don’t think she’s asleep, but it’s hard to tell in the dark cab of my truck.
The sky is navy blue, and the moonlight slices through the pines and into my windshield at haphazard angles. I pull up to Wyatt’s, cut the engine, and take a few long seconds to look at her. Her hair frames her face, and her dress has ridden up her thighs. Her eyes are closed, so maybe she is asleep.
I shift in my seat, open my door, and the movement stirs her. She glances around the cab of the truck, mildly confused, then realizes where she is.
“Wine makes me sleepy,” she explains, her tone apologetic.
“No worries.” My hands flick the air, waving away her apology. “Your snoring made for nice ambience.”
Her mouth drops open and her eyebrows draw together. “I do not snore.”
“If you say so.”
She jabs a finger into my side, but I saw it coming and braced myself a second before, so it doesn’t hurt. “Kidding,” I tell her, my hands up in surrender. “You don’t snore.”
Tenley pulls her purse from the floor and threads her arm through the straps. “I better go,” she says slowly. “Big day tomorrow. Running lines with Calvin.” Each word is spoken with an open end, like she’s leaving space for me to object, to suggest a different ending to our evening.
I want to. I really, really want to.
But I don’t. That hurdle feels bigger than all the others, and I’m still working up the speed needed to clear it.
She opens the door and gets out. “Good night,” she says softly, and closes the door.
I wait until she gets inside before driving away and spend the short drive to my house berating myself for being the dumbest man on the planet.
I hear her before I see her.
The crunch of twigs, the displacement of pinecones and pine straw as she walks. My fingers are wrapped tight around the cold longneck bottle, and I know there’s no way she can see me out here. Not with the porch light off, and the tall trees filtering out most of the moonlight. I came out here after I dropped her off, needing the crisp night air to clear my head. I’ve been out here for a while, trying to sort through my thoughts.
I don’t want to frighten her, so when she’s at my porch stairs I greet her. “What happened to your big day tomorrow?”
She startles anyway. Grips the post, a hand flying to her chest.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She recovers, coming closer. “Why are you sitting out here in the dark?”
“I do my best thinking in the dark.”
She’s in front of me now. She changed her clothes. I think I prefer her in sweats.
Instead of sitting down in the second empty seat, she leans a shoulder against the wall. “What were you thinking about?”
“You,” I answer immediately. No point in lying. It’s too dark to see her features clearly, but I can still see her movements. Her arms cross in front of her chest, and I wish I could see her expression.
“I meant what I said earlier. You’re confusing.”
I don’t need to see her face to know she’s bothered by my behavior. Her tone is enough.
I pull at the neck of the sweatshirt I changed into before coming out here. “I don’t mean to be.”
She sighs. “I know. I’m sure this is hard for you.”
“It is,” I confirm. As true as that may be, there is one thing I know for certain, and that’s the fact that I have to move on. Stagnation is not the place for me.
I stand up, setting my drink on the small table, and step closer to her. Her arms uncross.
“Confusing you is not my goal.” I want to touch her, but I make myself wait.
“What is your goal?”
“For the future?” I had so many, and most of them have changed.
She shakes her head. “For right now.”
I wish I could see her. If I could just see her face, determine her emotions in her gaze, this would be easier. But no. I’m going in blind. Maybe that’s a good thing. I should let my heart lead.
Brutal honesty. That’s how I’ll handle this. “I like you. I’m attracted to you. And that scares me. I’ve never been with anybody but Anna. This house is a godsend because she never lived in it with me. I want to take you into my bedroom and remove your clothes. I spend a stupid amount of time thinking about the first time I saw you, and how different things might have been if I hadn’t been in denial about the end of my marriage. And as scared as I am to be attracted to you, I’m more terrified of refusing how I feel about you and making the kind of mistake I’ll think about when I’m an old man. To make a long story short, my goal right now is to kiss you the way I did that day in the field, and I hope to God you’re okay with that because it’s happening in three.” I pause, giving her the opportunity to approve. Or refuse, but Christ I hope that’s not what she does. “Two…”
“One,” she says, stepping into the space between us, pressing her chest against me, her hands finding the back of my neck.
Her lips are on mine. My arms wind around her body, and her muscles relax. She melts into me, covering me in her warmth and her desire. She is sweet like sugar, but she has heat too. Like her spicy peach candy. The thought makes me smile, and she feels it.
“What’s funny?” she asks, her question spoken against my lips.
“Later,” I groan, because talking is the last thing I want to use my mouth for right now. My tongue slides against the seam of her lips, parting them softly. She moans into me, and the kiss grows deeper.
I walk her backward until she is pressed against my house. My hand drags down the length of her side and back up, settling on her hip. The fistful of sweats in my hand isn’t enough. I need more. I push against her, and she pushes back, meeting me.
Wrapping two hands around her, I hoist her up and onto my waist. She laughs against me, the sound a vibration in my mouth.
“Hold on,” I tell her, pulling back only long enough to speak.
Through the front door we go, and all the way back to my bedroom. Tenley’s thigh muscles clench around my middle, her hands running through my hair. I pepper kisses across her collarbone as we clear my bedroom door.
What happens next is easily the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Tenley crawls to the center of my bed after I lay her down and removes every piece of her clothing. She is beautiful and bold, and I am the luckiest man. She tells me she’s on birth control, and I thank the stars above because I don’t have a condom. I undress, and once I’m lined up with her, I don’t pause for even the shortest second. Swiftly, maybe even brazenly, I’m inside her.