Despite our earlier silent conversation, Lachlan was breaking things off. The truth was in his gentle, apologetic look.
Why, when only seconds ago I’d concluded our affair was a bad idea, did I feel pissed and hurt?
And rejected?
“You don’t have to say anything.” I gestured to the door. You can leave now.
He strode toward me, and the urge to go to him, to forget the whole horrid incident through his drugging kisses and touch, was so strong, I wanted to retreat. I worried if he came any closer, I’d lose myself to this addiction for him.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I wore a mask of indifference as he stopped less than a foot away.
Lachlan studied me, the regret in his eyes making me feel like crap. “I’m sorry this happened to you. More sorry than I can say.”
“It’s not your fault.”
He snorted bitterly.
“Adair.”
“Back to that again?” he murmured.
“Aren’t we?”
“I suppose so. We have to end this, for your safety.”
The sensible thing to do was to agree, to watch him walk out of the room, and move on. But all I kept thinking was, why did he put me in the room across from his if he didn’t want me anymore? “I’m not the kind of person who allows herself to be bullied by the actions of others. This is what these people want.”
“Christ, Robyn, I’m not worth your goddamn life,” he snapped, running a hand through his hair as he turned from me.
“Oh, get over yourself, Adair. It’s about more than that. I refuse to be pushed around by these assholes. I do not make decisions based on fear. Ever.” I motioned to him as he turned back to me, glowering. “But clearly you do.”
“How dare you,” he said gruffly. “This person or persons are after me, but it’s the people I care about who are being tormented. Mac, Eredine … and now Mac’s daughter.”
Mac’s daughter.
I wasn’t a person he cared about.
I was just the woman he wanted to fuck but who happened to be the daughter of a person he cared about.
Message received.
“I put you in danger, and if anything happened to you because of me, it would destroy Mac. He’d never forgive me.”
Wow, the hits just kept coming. I laughed bitterly. “So if anything happened to me, it wouldn’t matter to you other than it would hurt Mac. Good to know.”
His anger dissipated. “I didn’t mean … but this was just sex. We agreed.”
“We did. And believe me, the more I get to know you, the more the attraction remains physical.” His eyes flashed dangerously, but I didn’t care if I hurt his feelings. He was pretty adept at hurting mine. “But I guess, before this conversation, anyway, I assumed that even though our affair was casual, there was a level of care and concern for one another simply as two human beings.”
“Robyn—”
“But if all I am to you is something to stick your dick into, then, no, you are definitely not worth my life.”
Lachlan’s face darkened. “Something to stick …” He gave a huff of unamused laughter. “You always assume the worst in me, don’t you? You take my words and twist them.”
“No. I just listen to what you don’t say.” Suddenly exhausted and sad and disappointed, I waved wearily to the door. “Can you just leave?”
“What do you want me to say?” he bit out as he crossed the distance between us, leaning into but not touching me. “That when Mac told me you’d been attacked, I felt like I was coming out of my skin, and if I find the bastard, I will kill him? You have no idea the day I’ve had, Robyn. Women I care about were hurt by men that I should have protected them from!”
Confused, I shook my head. “Women? What—”
“And you”—he scowled ferociously—“making me feel like a piece of shit because I want to keep you safe. What the hell is that?”
God, he was such an asshole! “What the hell is that?” I yelled back. “It’s me, reacting to you being a total and utter coward! Ending something you want because someone threatened you. Ending something you need because you’re afraid of my father. And doing it like I mean nothing to you.”
“I’m not afraid of Mac. And I don’t need you,” he said flatly.
I smirked unhappily. “Blue Eyes, you need me more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
He flinched like I’d slapped him.
“I don’t want anything from you that you don’t want to give. I’m not sleeping with you in the hopes of snagging myself a rich, famous husband. Or because I see you as some kind of trophy or notch on my belt. And I’m not going to put up with your shit or stroke your ego or do any of the things that you don’t need.”
Lachlan studied me thoughtfully. “But you think I need you?”
“I think you need to lose yourself in someone who doesn’t want more than you’re willing to give. To forget all the crap that’s going on outside these doors. To admit that you care about me as a human being without being concerned I’ll think it’s a declaration of some kind.” I shrugged as I confessed, “I lied before. I do like you. I admire you, Lachlan. I admire the way you look out for your family. I admire the way you care about Mac. Yes, you piss me off, but honestly, I couldn’t let you touch me if I didn’t like you. I’m not that woman. I don’t do hate sex.”
Something lightened in his expression.
“But it doesn’t mean I want anything more from you than sex. So … there you are. My cards on the table. If you want to let those fuckers tormenting you win, then on you go.” I gestured to the door. “It’s over. Mac won’t let our affair come between you two. I’m sure of it. But if you aren’t, I understand, and again, you can leave.” My gaze dropped to his sullen mouth, my skin heating with the memories of what he could do with it. “If you can get over all that and want to stay”—I looked into his eyes now—“then stay. But don’t stay if I’m just another warm body to you. Stay because only my body will do. Stay because you need it to be me.”
His silence was unreadable. We both breathed a little heavier, as if struggling to catch our breaths. But I had no idea what he was thinking.
And then his hand was on my nape, my body jerked toward his, and his mouth slammed down over mine. I moaned into his desperate, hungry kiss and clung onto his shoulders as he swung me into his arms. Seconds later, I was on the bed and he was stripping me of my shoes and pajamas as quickly as he could. His clothes were next, his face harsh with desire as he hurried out of his jeans.
“I’m clean,” he offered as he climbed over me, nudging between my legs with hot need. “Got a health check when we started this thing. You? Pill?”
I hesitated. Did I trust him enough for unprotected sex?
“Robyn?”
Looking deep into his eyes, certainty flushed through me. This man was one of the most overprotective guys I’d ever met. He wouldn’t endanger me. In any way. And he had just as much to lose by trusting me. “Me too. And yes, I’m on the Pill.”
He slipped his hands between my legs, and they gleamed hungrily. “Ready for me.”