Something he wasn’t too proud of.
And to confess it to Robyn, the most fearless person he knew … “You’ll think less of me.”
“Try me.”
Pulse racing, the urge to remove himself physically from her was strong, and as if she sensed it or felt his increased heart rate, she slid her leg over his, her strong thigh trapping him.
It was hard to want to move after that. “I’m not you, Braveheart,” he admitted. “I might have played an action hero on the screen … but I’m afraid I’m a bit of a cowardly bastard.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He huffed bitterly. “I … I lost my mum. Then I lost my dad. He was there, but without her, he fell apart. He wasn’t the man or the father he was before her death. Even though he got better over the years, he never moved on. People are supposed to move on, aren’t they?”
“He loved her very much,” Robyn whispered, emotion bright in her eyes.
“Half of him was here. The other half was with her. And then Aunt Imogen died before I lost Dad too.” He squeezed her waist. “If that wasn’t bad enough, I had to watch my brother go through the same thing. He’s stronger than my dad ever was, but I’m my father through and through. And there’s the fact that my great-grandfather lost his wife young in childbirth too. His father before him lost his wife to influenza only six months after they were wed. We Adairs seem cursed to lose the people we love.” His grip on her tightened. “What a fucking awful existence my father had. I can’t imagine anything worse.”
Understanding dawned on her face.
“Lachlan,” she whispered. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say more but didn’t have the words.
That’s because there were none.
His was a deep-seated fear and as much as this woman was under his skin … he wasn’t certain the fear wouldn’t win in the end.
“I’m a risk,” he said, owing her that honesty.
“Then I guess I’m a risk too.” She moved over him, pushing him back on the bed, straddling him. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders, tickling his skin, and he reacted instantly to the glorious sight of her naked body.
He was addicted.
“I can stay …” She pressed a kiss to his chest. “And rather than labeling ourselves something, we just see what happens.” She looked into his eyes. “Or if you want me to, I can go, and I promise not to hold it against you. What do you want, Lachlan?”
His body betrayed him, his hands gripping her hips tight at the words “or I can go.”
Staring at this brave, sexy woman who had taken over his life, he knew what she’d do. She would face her fear head-on.
She inspired him.
He flipped her onto her back with such speed, she let out a cute squeak of surprise. Lachlan took hold of her hands and held her down. “Does that answer your question?”
Robyn grinned, and in a quick blur of movement, he found himself on his back again.
He stared up at the ceiling, dazed.
How the fuck did she do that?
As she moved over him, announcing it was her turn, Lachlan gave a bark of laughter and happily let her have at it.
30
Lachlan
It was unlike Lachlan to feel nervous about anything, but as he stood outside Mac’s office, he hesitated a moment to take a deep bloody breath.
The truth was, since his affair with Robyn had begun, he’d been avoiding his friend. Not just because it was complicated but because he wasn’t sure he could give her up if that’s what Mac wanted. And that seemed ungrateful at best, perfidious at worst, considering Mac’s loyalty over the years.
Sucking it up, Lachlan knocked on Mac’s door.
“Come in.”
He strode in with purpose, ignored Mac’s raised eyebrow, and decided to just come out with it. He closed the door and turned to him. “I know I should never have touched Robyn in the first place … but I care about her and have long before I could even admit it to myself.”
Mac relaxed back in his chair, hands over his stomach, contemplating him. “Christ, Lachlan, do you not think I know that? You would never have touched my daughter if it was just an attraction.”
There it was. The truth Lachlan had denied for too long.
“I want to try something real with her,” he promised his friend but was honest enough to add, “I can’t promise it will work out, but I want to try.”
“No one can promise that.” Mac stood and rounded the desk. “I know you. I know you’re a good man. And if you give Robyn another reason to stay, then I’m grateful.”
Lachlan shook his head, feeling ashamed. “You’re a better man than me, Mac.”
The unspoken hung in the air between them.
Mac swallowed and looked away. “Does Robyn know?”
He nodded, studying her father. “Does that mean we’re okay?”
His friend clapped him on the shoulder, smirking. “I’m happy for you.”
“I don’t deserve her.”
“No, you don’t.” Mac chuckled. “But what man does? She’s one of a kind … but if it has to be someone, then I’m all right with it being you.”
It was the tepid blessing of a father who recognized how special his daughter was. Lachlan was okay with that. It was better than the opposite. “Thanks, Mac.”
He nodded.
Awkward tension filled the space between them. Lachlan sought to break it. “Arrochar is insisting on hosting a dinner for us all. I told her the timing couldn’t be worse.”
“Maybe it’s what we all need,” Mac disagreed. “And the paparazzi have gotten bored and fled Ardnoch for scandal elsewhere.”
Unfortunately, his members hadn’t come back. Lachlan was in the midst of a PR nightmare on top of everything else. Truthfully, however, he felt less stressed about it than people might imagine. When someone had been murdered and the people you cared about were in danger, the material stuff didn’t matter so much.
And he was certain, he and his PR team could turn things around once they caught the killer.
“You’re right,” Lachlan found himself agreeing. “I’ll tell Arrochar to arrange it.”
“You okay?” Lachlan asked as he and Robyn strode toward the dining table.
Arrochar’s house was filled with the noise of his family chattering over one another.
“Mom was an only child,” Robyn said. “She doesn’t talk to her parents. Seth’s parents live in Florida, his brother in Texas.”
He raised an eyebrow in question.
She grinned. “Not used to big family dinners.”
“Oh, this is nothing,” he said, holding out a chair for her so she was between him and Mac. “When Brodan and Arran are here, usually with their flavor of the month, it’s even noisier.”
Seated around Arrochar’s large dining table was his sister, Thane, the kids, Lucy, Eredine, and Mac. The table was overlaid with food because Arro loved to cook and was good at it. Lachlan wasn’t too bad either. He’d had to be because his dad couldn’t cook, and his brothers didn’t want to try.