Whatever. I shut down any feelings of attraction I’d had for Hunter. Nothing was ever going to happen between us, and that was fine. I had enough going on in my life.
4
Kate
I was lying on a mat using a foam roller on my quads, my face scrunched up with the discomfort while I was thinking about the paper I was working on for Expository Writing. I was arguing that federal student loan policies had contributed to widespread growth in college tuition. The paper was due Monday and I suddenly felt a huge, hot pressure swell up inside me. I’d just turned in another paper, had a test next week, and we were traveling to Canton this weekend. How the hell was I going to get it all done?
I pushed away the foam roller, flopped flat on my back and closed my eyes. Tears burned and leaked from the outer corners. I pressed my lips together, trying to get control of my emotions, but I felt so overwhelmed and stressed and exhausted.
“Hey.”
My eyes popped open wide at the low male voice.
Hunter stood above me, eyeing me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I glanced around the gym and discovered we were there alone. Thank God no one else was witnessing my breakdown.
“I’m fine.” I swiped my hands across my wet eyes and did a crunch to sit.
“You don’t look fine.” He crouched beside me, concern pulling his eyebrows down. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“No.” I shook my head and tipped it back. “I’m just…” I covered my mouth. “It’s a lot. That’s all.”
His eyes warmed with sympathy. “Yeah. It is.”
“There’s so much…it’s such a slog…studying on the bus, or in the hotel…practices…”
He nodded. He totally got it. “We love what we do,” he said. “But it’s hard work.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath and touched my fingertips to the corners of my eyes to dash away a couple more tears. “Damn. I don’t know why I started crying.”
“You need some down time.”
“I’ll have down time when I die.”
He snorted a laugh. “Come on.” He stood and jerked his head. “I’m on my way to Bingo’s. Come with me.” He named one of his teammates who lived off campus. “Time for a little relaxation.”
“I have a paper due Monday and a trip this weekend.”
He reached down and grabbed my hands, pulling me up so easily my feet actually left the floor. His strength was…hot. “Okay. Let’s make a plan for finishing it.”
I blinked. “Um…”
He walked me through my schedule and what I needed to get done, and maybe I’d been overwhelmed and freaking out when I didn’t really need to. And he was right—I needed a break.
“I can’t go like this.” I gestured at myself. I was a sweaty mess.
“Go shower and change. I’ll wait for you.”
I bit my lip. “Okay.”
I knew he wasn’t taking me on a date. He had a girlfriend. It was just friendship, and that was okay. I liked being friends with guys. There was no pressure.
So that was how I ended up hanging out with a bunch of hockey players, getting drunk on a Thursday afternoon. Was I bothered being the only girl there? Not a bit. I was a good hockey player all my life and at times played with boys’ teams. I liked boys. I liked hanging around with boys.
We ordered pizza and someone went out for more beer. A bong came out. Things got a little raunchy, but not more than I could handle. The guys started asking me which of them I’d go out with, if they were available, which made me laugh. Then they wanted to know who was the best kisser and wanted me to try it with each of them. I laughed more. “You guys, that could be considered sexual harassment. Knock it off.”
The only guy there who wasn’t a hockey player was Henry. His twin brother Harris played hockey. Henry was a cute architecture major. So when they pushed me to say who I’d go out with, I pointed at Henry. “Him. He’s not a hockey player. That’s all I need to know.”
Everyone laughed, including Henry, but a little while later he found me in the kitchen. “So. When are we going out?”
I smiled, drunk enough to go along with him. “Tomorrow night?”
“Sounds good to me. Give me your number.”
“Maybe we should try kissing first. If it’s not good, we won’t waste our time.”
“Makes sense.”
And he crowded me against the counter and kissed me.
It was good.
Hunter walked in on us. “Hey, Katertot, you okay in here…” His voice trailed off.
I waved a hand at him behind Henry’s back, telling him to go away. He disappeared. Henry and I made out for a while then rejoined the party.
Later that night, Hunter and I walked home together. We were both pretty drunk.
“So. You going out with Henry?” Hunter asked.
“Yeah. Tomorrow night.”
He nodded. I sensed a tension in that nod and silence.
Hunter stopped walking.
“What?” I asked.
“Look.” He gestured to our surroundings. “It’s nice.”
I gazed around. Snow drifted down from the pearly gray sky, piling onto black tree branches, sparkling beneath the streetlights. The world was hushed and white and twinkling…almost magical. And I wouldn’t have even noticed if he hadn’t stopped us.
I smiled at him. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah.”
We start walking again. “Thanks for inviting me,” I said, my hands in my jacket pockets. “That was just what I needed.”
“Things get pretty intense sometimes.”
“Yeah.” I cast him a sidelong look. “You never seem bothered by it. Or wait…maybe it’s more that you’re always intense.”
He grunted.
“You’re a really good hockey player,” I said. “You could play pro.” I slant him another look. “How come you’re not?”
“I didn’t enter the draft.”
“Um, yeah. Obviously. What about this year? There are scouts here all the time.”
“I’m not interested in playing pro hockey,” he muttered.
“Why not?”
He didn’t answer for a moment and I got the feeling I was being nosy. But I was so intensely curious about him. I had been since the day I first saw him. Then he says, “I can’t do it.”
This time I didn’t ask. I just waited.
“Did you hear about the Swift Current Warriors bush crash a couple of years ago?”
“Yes.” My mind worked, trying to connect dots. I knew Hunter was Canadian, from Calgary. Did he…?
“I was on that bus.”
I stopped walking and turned to stare at him.
“I played for the Warriors.”
“Oh my God.” I pressed my mittened hands over my mouth, my gaze fastened on his face. “Oh, Hunter.”
He closed his eyes and his mouth firmed into a grim line. “I walked away without a scratch. I have no idea how. But…it messed up my head.”
I nodded slowly, lowering my hands. My insides quivered. I could see how hard it was for him to tell me this. If he hadn’t had a lot of beer, he probably wouldn’t have. And I felt…honored…that he did so. “I can understand that.”