Grace drops her hand to her stomach. “Maybe another time.”
“Whoa,” Silas says from the stool next to Lola. “You knocked up or something?”
Leave it to Silas to ask a stupid-ass question like that.
No one laughs.
The table goes silent with the exception of Cassidy breaking out in a fit of coughs. Grace chews on her upper lip as I edge in closer to her. I wait for her to deny it, to tell Silas he’s ridiculous, to laugh it off.
She doesn’t.
As corny as it sounds, my heart stops. Hell, my entire world stops. The sounds of customers yelling at sports calls on the TVs and mindless chatter surrounding me fade. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray this is a bad nightmare, that I drank too much last night and I’m hallucinating, or this is some prank. Everyone’s reactions tell me my wish isn’t coming true.
It could be considered selfish of me to not want to hear Grace is pregnant. For years, I’ve carried a deep fear of losing her. Her being pregnant with another man’s baby is step one of that looming reality—of my upcoming loss of the woman I never want to disappear from my life.
My world, my happiness will never be the same.
Chapter Three
Grace
One thing my parents loved about me while I was growing up was I almost always told the truth. No matter how much a lie was on the tip of my tongue, it never slipped.
Did you participate in senior skip day? Yes.
Did you attend a party instead of going to Georgia’s after prom? Sure did.
Did you cheer on Lola to put a laxative in your ex’s drink after he took your virginity and then cheated? Unfortunately, yes, and by the way, he’s threatening to sue.
That’s why I can’t look my friends in the face and deny being pregnant.
Was I that obvious?
I hadn’t bailed tonight in hopes it’d take my mind off being knocked up. With the exception of work, I hadn’t left my house since accepting the results of the tests. I had anxiety that someone would know my secret as soon as they saw me.
Or as soon as I declined a margarita, apparently.
All eyes are on me.
God, if you’re listening, please open up the floor and swallow me whole.
I’m not sure how long it takes before I draw in a nervous breath and nod. I shut my eyes to block out their reactions, afraid of what they’ll be. A crowded bar isn’t where I planned to spill the beans, but at least it’s over with.
Another name off my list.
Friends. Check.
The others, like my family and the baby’s father, won’t be as easy.
And unfortunately, I can’t have a margarita with those either.
“Who’s the father?” Finn asks, his voice pained and cracking with each word.
Yeah, I’d rather give up margs for the rest of my life before explaining that tonight.
Out of everyone, his reaction is what I’ve been worried about the most. As much as I like the other guys, I don’t care about their opinions. The girls will support me one hundred percent—there’s no question.
I could lie and say IVF, but my friends would call bullshit, knowing I’d never keep something like that a secret. Nor can I say I turned into the next Virgin Mary and got prego without having intercourse.
My head spins, a myriad of excuses flashing through my thoughts, but I’m unable to grasp one.
I clear my throat. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Questions fly from people’s mouths, but Lola shoots her hand up, stopping them.
“She’ll talk about it when she’s ready,” she says, smiling in my direction before sending Finn a shut the hell up glare.
That’s Lola—always the first to speak up and the first to shut people down.
“Do your parents know?” Georgia asks.
“Not yet,” I croak, my throat sore.
Georgia shifts in her stool, her hand falling over mine and squeezing it. “Do you want me to go with you when you tell them? I mean, I’m down for being a second mom.”
This is why I love my friends. Along with my older sister, Faith, they will be the strength I need to get through this and prove I’m not alone.
I can’t muster the courage to turn and look at Finn. From his tense muscles and his heavy breathing, I’m scared of witnessing the disappointment I know is written on his face.
The anger.
And possible disgust.
Even though he and I have never overstepped our friendship line, we share an emotional intimacy that we deny it to everyone. We’ve surpassed friendship. When I met Finn, I didn’t expect us to develop the connection we have. I never anticipated this man, who was the complete opposite of me, to steal my heart, taking it little by little with every conversation until he owned every inch of it. And since neither of us planned our relationship to grow as it has, we’re terrified to admit our feelings to each other, so we’ve been playing pretend for years.
I’m in love with Finn. If there were anyone I’d want to be the father of my baby, it’d be him. In my dreams, if I could have my life any way I wanted, I’d be with Finn. I’ve had those feelings for years, but sometimes, you can’t always have what you want.
After longing for Finn while witnessing endless women flirt with him at the bar, I stupidly attempted to move on. I threw myself into a relationship even though my heart belonged to someone else. I wanted to find happiness without the fear of cutting myself open and confessing my feelings to Finn, scared of being shut down, of hearing I wasn’t his type.
I’m in love with him, my best friend, and it’s too bad the other man’s heart also belongs to someone else. He was running from his problems, his responsibilities, and used me. Unfortunately, I found that out too late.
And that man, ladies and gentlemen, is the father of my baby.
Chapter Four
Finn
The first thing I do at closing is march behind the bar, snag a bottle of whiskey, and pour myself a double.
Pregnant.
Grace is fucking pregnant.
I had no idea she was even dating someone, and from her reaction when I asked who the father was, the dick had probably fucked her over. Unless it was a one-night stand and she doesn’t know who the father is, but for as long as I’ve known Grace, I can’t see that being the answer.
My goal is to drink away the reality until it’s no longer fresh in my mind. I’m using the liquor to cope with the pain of losing her. I cringe, thinking of some underserving asshole touching her, kissing her, doing everything I’ve wanted to do for years.
“You good, man?” Silas comes up behind me and slaps me on the back.
It’s all fun and games, joking about someone being pregnant, until it’s the girl you’re in love with.
When Grace confirmed she was pregnant, Silas looked straight at me, knowing it’d hit me the hardest. I knotted my hands into fists, nausea crawling up my throat, wishing I hadn’t followed them to their table. That’s what I get for being a shit employee and not minding my damn business.
After her pregnancy news broke, I got back to work. My head was spinning, and I needed to clear it. I shot quick glances to their table throughout the night, watching her drink water and pretend to laugh. Her face was tired when she left the bar, and before she walked out, I smacked a quick kiss on her forehead and reminded her I would always be there for her, no matter what.