My eyes blur with tears. I know exactly what that kind of loss feels like.
“As you know, even with family nearby, being a single parent of a newborn is totally overwhelming. Add in the grief and the guilt, and . . . all I could think about was making it up to my daughter. That’s what drove me to sign the biggest names, climb the ladder as fast as I could, and make the most money. Sometimes I’ve cut corners and been more ruthless than I should have been. I have poached other agents’ clients. As if money and success would somehow fill the void of the mother I took from her.” He hesitates. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because all this time I had no idea who you were or what you’d been through.” I blink back tears.
“It’s not the sort of thing you just bring up in conversation or mention at a meeting or during happy hour. I’ve always respected the way you handle yourself and your clients. And given your own loss and your . . . Maya . . . I knew you’d understand how huge a part of my life my daughter is.”
I stare into Rich’s eyes. I’ve judged him so harshly, having no idea we’d walked in each other’s shoes.
“My point is, I’m about as far from a notcher/player as it’s possible to get.” He pauses once again. “I haven’t felt this kind of connection since . . . since Amelia died. And I’m fairly certain you feel it, too.”
I continue to stare into Rich’s eyes, shocked at the honest emotion I am only now recognizing in them. Moved by the courage he’s just shown when I, who have always prided myself on telling the truth and doing the right thing, have worked so hard to hide my feelings even from myself.
He leans across the desk. “So, here’s the thing. If you really want to pretend there’s nothing between us, I’ll do my best. But it won’t be easy. Because that’s the total opposite of what I want.”
I lean forward and meld my lips to his. It’s a long, thorough kiss meant to convey all the things I can’t bring myself to say. When it finally ends, both of us are smiling.
“I’m glad you shared your story with me.” I swipe at a stray tear.
“Me, too.” His smile gets bigger. “But there is one more thing.”
“Really? Because as much as it means to me that you’ve taken me into your confidence, I might need a small break before the next revelation.”
“Oh, I think you’re going to want to hear this.”
I study his face. Then I pull the box of Kleenex closer. Just in case.
“It’s a good thing. I promise.”
“Okay. But I’ll be the judge of that.” I take a deep breath. “Shoot.”
“Larry came to me to talk about the new StarSports Academy and the tennis division.”
My eyes narrow slightly.
“I know, I know.” He raises both hands, palms out. “The three of us should have talked about it together.”
“Damn straight.”
“What can I say?” He shrugs apologetically. “Not everyone is as enlightened as I am.”
“And?”
“At first, he thought you and I should share both positions.”
I brace yet again. Afraid that Rich somehow ended up as the head of both.
“But I told him in no uncertain terms that given your background and knowledge of the sport, the tennis division should be all yours.” He hesitates. “But I’m hoping you might be open to building the academy together.” He’s watching my face carefully. A small, hopeful smile lights his eyes. “What do you think?”
Relief rushes through me. I want to believe in this man and trust in that smile. “I think I might be able to live with that. But only after I give Larry grief for not discussing this with both of us.”
We grin. Our eyes on each other.
“I’m with you on that,” he says. “We need to make sure Larry understands that we’re a team and not to be played against each other.”
“Agreed,” I say.
“Told you it was good.” His eyes crinkle.
“I kind of hate it when you’re right,” I reply. “Is there anything else I should know?”
“Nothing that can’t wait,” he says softly. “Well, except for this.” He leans over the desk so that we’re eye to eye. We’re both smiling as our lips meet.
Judith
I’ve been so busy getting the house ready to go on the market that time has begun to fly by. The kids—yes, both of them!—will be in this weekend to go through their things and to celebrate the life we lived here. I know Nate will be with us in each memory and story that we tell. (Who knows, maybe Nate came to Ethan in a dream and helped convince him to come home and help me to move on.)
Every once in a while, I imagine I see him just ahead in a hallway or out of the corner of my eye when I slide into bed. His presence is comforting. It’s almost as if I can feel him smiling.
As I climb in the car to drive to our last book club meeting before the summer break, I feel a little like the religious renegade on that ship headed for the Massachusetts Bay Colony; I don’t know where I’d be right now if it weren’t for my book club and the friends who make it up. I wouldn’t even mind being banished to Rhode Island as long as they could come with me.
When I arrive, the store is ablaze with light and filled with conversation and laughter. The gang is all here, and I hug my way back toward the refreshments, where Annell is preparing to light the candles and prosecco is being handed around.
“Happy birthday!” I throw my arms around Jazmine, who is wearing a pink plastic birthday crown as if it were a diamond tiara. Her smile is quick and easy. Her hug is warm. I see something new, more open in her eyes. “Thirty-six seems to be agreeing with you so far,” I say.
“I’m surprisingly good with it,” she says as Meena hands us glasses of prosecco. “It’s been quite the day.”
“Do tell, girl,” Carlotta sashays forward in a chartreuse mesh handkerchief hem dress that does incredible things for her figure and her dark skin. “Something’s got her all lit up, and I don’t think it’s the candles.”
“I’ll never tell,” Jazmine insists with a flash of white teeth. “All I’m going to say is sometimes people can surprise you in a good way.”
Carlotta eyes Erin, who mimes a locking motion over her lips. “I like my job way too much to tell.”
“Good thinking.” Jazmine grins and taps her forehead.
“There’s a lot of good thinking going on here,” Chaz says. “Some of my coworkers like to tease me about being in a book club, but they don’t have any idea what they’re missing.” He raises his glass. “You all are the best. Thank you for letting me be a part of this group.”