Liza was sorting through photo albums, flicking through the pages. “There’s a lovely one here of you with Dad.” She put it to one side and picked up the next book. “This must be one of your earliest albums.” She turned a page and smiled. “Here’s your graduation photo. Look at your hair! Why haven’t I seen these before?”
“Because I tend to focus more on the present than the past.” It was Brian who had put the photos into albums. Brian who had turned their house into a home and their little trio into a family. Kathleen had taken thousands of photographs of her travels, but they were stored in boxes in her study.
“Who are these two?” Liza pointed and Kathleen walked across the room and looked over her shoulder.
Emotion lodged in her throat.
She should have destroyed the photo.
“Mum?”
“Mmm?”
“The two other people in the photo. Who are they?”
“Friends. We were all on the same course at college. The three of us were inseparable. That was taken in Oxford.”
“The guy is very good-looking. What was his name?”
“Adam.” Did her voice sound normal? “His name was Adam.”
“And the girl?”
“Ruth.” Her voice most definitely didn’t sound normal. “She was my roommate.” My closest friend.
“You’ve never mentioned her. What happened?” Liza turned the page. “Did you lose touch?”
“We—yes.” Kathleen’s legs suddenly turned wobbly and she sat down hard on the nearest chair. She thought about the letters, tied together and safely hidden in the back of one of her drawers. Unopened. “Not all friendships last.”
“And Adam? Did you stay in touch with him?”
“No.”
“But here you are again—the three of you. Do you know where Ruth is now?”
“Last time I heard she was living in California.” Kathleen felt a sudden pang.
She took the book from Liza. There was Ruth smiling at the camera, her hair falling long and loose over one shoulder. And there was Adam with those blue eyes and movie star looks.
She remembered the nights she and Ruth had lain on the banks of the river in Oxford and talked until dawn. Kathleen had been an only child and for a while, with Ruth, she’d tasted what life might have been like if she’d had a sister. There had been nothing she didn’t know about Ruth, and nothing Ruth didn’t know about her. She’d truly believed that nothing would ever get in the way of their friendship.
She placed her finger on the photograph, touching Ruth’s smile and remembering the sound of her laugh.
Brian had encouraged her to make a trip to California, but she’d refused.
She’d been cowardly.
Kathleen felt something stir inside her.
She looked up and there was Popeye, standing in the doorway of the living room, the angle of his head suggesting he was less than impressed by the number of people currently crowding his territory. He stalked across to Kathleen with a swish of his tail.
Kathleen put the album down and scooped up her cat who tolerated a few moments of affection before easing himself away from her grasp and heading into the kitchen.
Dear Popeye. If he could have an adventure, why couldn’t she? Instead of sitting here reliving things that had happened in the past, she should be living in the present.
Liza picked up the abandoned photo album. “I’m sorry if looking at these upset you.”
“They didn’t upset me. They made me think.” Kathleen felt stronger. “They made me realize it’s time to do something I should have done a long time ago.”
“You mean clear out the albums?”
“No.” Was courage one of those things that dwindled with age, along with memory and muscle tone? “Sit down, Liza.”
Liza joined her on the sofa without question, her brows meeting in an anxious frown. “Mum?”
“I’m lucky to have a daughter who cares about my welfare. Look at you, driving up here on the weekend to be with me when you have such a busy life of your own. I am grateful to you for all the research you’ve done on residential homes—” she looked at Liza “—but I won’t be needing the information yet.” Never, she thought, but she didn’t say that because she suspected she needed to give her daughter the idea that she might see sense at some point.
“Mum—”
“I know you’re acting out of love, but I’m in sound mind and capable of making my own decision on what’s best for me.”
Liza’s expression was one of pure frustration.
Stubborn. So like her father. Kathleen hadn’t been interested in marriage after everything that had happened. Fortunately for her, Brian had refused to accept that. If he hadn’t been so persistent and proposed three times, she would have missed out on the happy life she’d had. She never would have had Liza, who was now staring at her nervously, worried about her next move.
“You can’t stay here, Mum.”
“I don’t intend to, but nor do I intend to move into a home and wait patiently for death.”
“Not death, but—”
“I’m going to take a trip to California.” It was a big place. There was no likelihood that she would bump into someone she didn’t want to see.
“Cali—” Liza choked. “Are you kidding? That’s a twelve-hour flight.”
“I won’t be flying all the way. I’m taking a road trip across America. Route 66.” The moment she said the words she felt her insides lurch with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Was this bold or foolish?
It didn’t matter. She’d waited long enough. Too long. She wasn’t going to let the past stop her from doing something she’d always wanted to do.
But even without the emotional pressure, it was an ambitious trip. There were days when her bones ached so badly she could barely drag herself from her bed, and here she was blithely talking about driving two thousand four hundred miles—she hated thinking in kilometers—as if it was nothing more than a trip to the village.
Sean was the first to speak. “Exciting. How can we help?”
Dear boy.
Liza opened her mouth but Kathleen spoke first. “I’d appreciate a lift to the airport when I’ve made all the plans.” She almost asked for help booking her flight, but she knew she’d have to find the confidence to do that herself. Ridiculous that the thought of a flight booking scared her more than a road trip. She found it impossible to believe that pressing a button and inserting a credit card number was enough to ensure her a seat on a plane.