Seiji stared. “Don’t fence?”
“No.…” Aiden sounded at a loss. “That’s not what I meant, no.”
“That’s the game Jesse plays,” Seiji pointed out, and Aiden only shrugged, lapsing back into silence.
For so many years of his life, fencing had meant Jesse to Seiji. He’d learned to associate the two things, in the same way he’d learned the steps of his drills. The moves were instinct to him now. Seiji had to fence. And perhaps that meant he had to be with Jesse. Perhaps that meant he was going to lose to Jesse. Just like before.
There was nothing Aiden could do to help Seiji. When it came to fencing, Seiji was on his own.
“I wish we could both stay at Kings Row,” Seiji said.
Aiden didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. Seiji was only telling his wish to the sea. Finally, Seiji rose to his feet and made his way back toward the camp.
As soon as he reached the path through the trees, he saw Nicholas. There was no chance of retreating back to the trees. Nicholas was staring right at him… and smiling. Seiji glanced suspiciously over his shoulder to see if there was anyone behind him. There wasn’t.
“There you are,” said Nicholas. “I’ve been looking for you all day.”
Seiji was somewhat at a loss. “But aren’t we…” He paused. “Aren’t we in a fight?”
“Since when?”
“Yesterday we—”
“Oh, yesterday,” said Nicholas. And then, “Are you still mad?”
“… No?”
“Good,” Nicholas told him. “Friends have fights. If we get really mad, we can punch each other. It’s whatever. If you keep feeling lousy over every bad thing that happens, seems to me like you’ll feel lousy forever. Is this why you didn’t save me my breakfast roll this morning? Don’t be petty. Give me it tomorrow.”
Seiji had simply eaten breakfast alone and early, as usual in life before Nicholas. He’d actually picked up Nicholas’s breakfast roll automatically, then noticed what he’d done and resentfully eaten it himself, but he had no intention of telling Nicholas that.
Seiji didn’t know how to deal with emotions, other than shutting them up within himself and staying silent. He found himself amazed by how Nicholas seemed to feel things as strongly as he did, but then be able to open a door on those feelings and let them go. It was true that after they’d punched each other, Nicholas hadn’t seemed to bear a grudge.
It was slightly worrying, to think of how many bad experiences Nicholas must have had to be able to dismiss them so easily. Seiji didn’t enjoy thinking about that. It would be better if Nicholas had no bad experiences in the future.
Seiji cleared his throat. “I don’t think you should have said you wouldn’t leave me at a party, then gone away.”
“You had all those cool European fencers to talk to, though. I was just standing around looking dumb.”
I wanted you to stay with me, Seiji thought, I didn’t want to be alone with Jesse. But he couldn’t tell Nicholas that, couldn’t risk having to explain why. Instead he said, “I prefer it when you are standing around looking dumb.”
Nicholas grinned. “I didn’t know you’d mind if I left. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”
That didn’t seem fair. Nicholas hadn’t been entirely at fault.
“An apology is… not necessary,” said Seiji. “I was in a bad temper because of a deal I made with Jesse.”
Nicholas frowned. “What deal?”
He probably shouldn’t talk about his and Jesse’s rule-breaking plan out in the open.
“Come with me to our room. I will explain,” said Seiji, and led the way into their stone cottage.
There was a worn carpet covered in fleurs-de-lis on the stairs, which muffled their footsteps.
“I hope you didn’t waste the day and paid careful attention to your training,” Seiji told Nicholas.
“Yeah, I’m learning a lot,” claimed Nicholas, scrambling onto his bed. He didn’t even seem to notice he was messing up the covers. “Coach and I talked back at Kings Row, about how I needed to work to learn the basics all over again, and I’ve really started putting in the work now. I think I… haven’t admitted to myself, for a while… you know, how far behind everyone else I was. I knew it, but I didn’t wanna know it. The thing is, I had a coach before our coach. He was named Coach Joe. He wasn’t a great coach, but he was nice to me. I, uh… loved him, you know?”
It was bizarre how Nicholas could just say something like that, talking about a man who wasn’t even his father.
“I know,” admitted Seiji.
“I didn’t want to think badly of him. But he taught me some stuff that was wrong, and I have to unlearn it,” said Nicholas. “Learning moves isn’t easy, but unlearning what you thought you knew is the toughest. Still, I think I’m getting the hang of it. I’ll show you tomorrow. Now, tell me what you’ve been doing at training camp! What’s all this talk about a deal with Jesse Coste?”
Seiji told him. How Jesse had challenged him to a match, and the bargain they’d made. He told Nicholas what he had to lose.
“If I lose the match, I said I’d leave Kings Row and go to Exton,” Seiji explained. “And I don’t want to go to Exton.”
Nicholas’s face lit like a sunrise over the sea. “You don’t?”
“Maybe I should,” said Seiji. “Their fencing team is better. It makes sense to go to Exton. But… I don’t want to.”
Nicholas leaned forward eagerly. “Because deep down you know we can win the state championships, and that you and I are going to be great fencing partners?”
“No,” said Seiji. “You’re bad at fencing.”
“I’m getting better—”
“That’s not the issue right now, Nicholas! I made this deal. I had to, or Jesse would have thought I was scared of facing him.”
“So, okay, here’s the plan. You’re gonna beat him.”
Nicholas spoke with total confidence. Certainty came easily to Nicholas. Seiji wasn’t sure how. Seiji didn’t even like talking to strangers, but Nicholas could swagger through a whole strange world and face it down. Seiji wished he could be that way, but he wasn’t.
Like the captain had said, Nicholas was brave.
“It’s not that simple,” Seiji said, speaking with a sharpness Nicholas didn’t deserve, in an effort to hide his doubts. “How are we even going to get into the salle d’armes at night to have the match?”
Perhaps that was a way out, having the coaches catch and stop them. That didn’t seem fair, though. It didn’t seem brave. Seiji should try his best to keep his word.
“Huh,” said Nicholas. “I think I can help you out there.”
Seiji frowned. “How?”
“Well. You might’ve heard some guys at Kings Row hinting that I’m a delinquent.”
“I would never think you were a delinquent just because you’re socioeconomically disadvantaged, Nicholas,” Seiji assured him.
“Yeah, I appreciate that, Seiji,” said Nicholas, shoving Seiji’s shoulder gently with his own in the way Nicholas did when he was pleased. “But I actually am kind of a delinquent?”