“Gross. She made me do it.”
“Are you telling me she put hands on you without permission?” He looked very concerned as he leaned forward. “You can tell me.”
“No. What? Are you seriously asking me if I got raped?”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, but it’s true, blink twice. If you’re in a fragile state, I don’t mind talking to the police on your behalf. But if you could at least write down the details it would be helpful for the statement.”
I didn’t blink at all. “Poppy and I just made an arrangement.”
“Of the sexual variety? What was the contract like? I’d love to see it, just in case it gives me a few more ideas.”
“No, not of the sexual variety. She agreed to not hurt Scarlett as long as I pretend to date her.”
“Well that’s a boring contract.”
“I didn’t sign anything. It’s just a verbal agreement. Poppy wants to take over the family business and doesn’t think Mr. Pruitt will step down until she seems like she can handle the finances. She thinks dating me will show her uncle that she’s serious about every aspect of the business. And the deal is only going to last as long as it takes for her to take over for Mr. Pruitt.”
Tanner just stared at me. “So have you had sex with her yet or not?”
“I’m not going to sleep with her.”
“Oh.” Tanner sighed. “Well, what a waste of a congratulatory kiss.”
“Yeah, if you ever try to kiss me again, I’ll punch you in the face.”
He laughed. “In your dreams. Both the kissing and the punching. You couldn’t punch me. I’m much too quick. I’d have you rolling on the floor in pain before you even lifted your hand.”
“Yeah right.”
“Indeed. I am right.”
I reached out, not to punch him, but maybe just to slap him to prove my point.
But he grabbed my hand before it came anywhere close to him. He slammed it onto the table, twisting my arm so I was leaning over. He’d somehow grabbed a steak knife at the same time and was hovering it over my hand too.
“What the fuck?” I said.
He let me go, then twirled the knife in his hand and stabbed it into the bread on the table. “Can’t touch me.”
I rubbed my hand. Now I really did want to slap him. But I’d wait until I got a better opportunity. It would have to be a sneak slap-attack.
“Shall we order?” he asked and lifted up his menu.
“Where did you learn to do that?” I rubbed my hand again.
“Do what?”
“That kung fu shit you just did.”
“Oh, I just picked it up over the years. Oh wow, they do have cheesecake. Should I order you some?”
“I’m good.” I picked up the menu to look at the options.
“I’m just messing with you anyway,” Tanner said and set down the menu. “I hope you’re hungry because I already know what I’m going to order for us.”
Of course he did. He’d want to know how delectable their specialties were.
He waved over the waiter and ordered half the menu. When the waiter finally walked away, looking a little frazzled, Tanner sighed.
“They don’t seem to handle stress here very well,” he said. “That’s telling. They probably wouldn’t like surprises either.” He jotted something down in his notebook. “Could you imagine one of those big cages over there with some models dancing in it?”
I looked over to where he was pointing. “Sure. It would probably fit.”
“Excellent.”
“So…” I let my voice trail off. I needed to word this as nicely as possible. “I really appreciate you letting me stay with you during all this craziness with Mr. Pruitt. But now that I have that deal with Poppy…I should be safe to go back to my house.”
“You’re sure she’s trustworthy?” he asked.
No. Not really. But Nigel was driving me crazy. I couldn’t stay with Tanner any longer unless I wanted Nigel to…get the wrong idea or something. “Yeah, Poppy will stick to her word.”
Tanner nodded. “Well, regardless, you’ll have to speak to Nigel about it. He’ll need to coordinate your move back.”
“I can’t talk to Nigel about it. He’ll never let me leave.”
“Of course he will. I’ll tell him to be accommodating. Surely he has room in his schedule. He moved you out of your house in record time if I remember correctly.”
Yeah, but that was because I was coming to live with him. Not moving out. “Did you know that he writes me letters and puts them in my lunches?” I pulled out the one Nigel gave me today and handed it to Tanner.
“You kept it? That’s cute.”
“I kept it in case I show up murdered and they’re looking for a suspect.”
“Nigel isn’t violent. He’s a caretaker if anything.”
“Maybe to you. He creeps me out. Look at what your weird little houseboy said to me.”
Tanner unfolded the letter and started reading aloud.
Mr. Caldwell,
You never told me if you liked meat, but I assume since you didn’t complain about your last lunch that you really like it. So I gave you double today.
As always, I want to make you as comfortable as possible in Master Tanner’s abode. Please let me know if there’s anything else you need me to acquire. I’m at your disposal any time. Day or night. I put my number below again because you haven’t called or texted yet. It’s best to send me special requests that way. It’s a private line, in case you’re worried about interlopers.
Have a lovely and fetching day at work. No fighting with the other boys, remember. The last thing I want to have to do is reprimand you again. Speaking of which, I forgive you for making me worry last night. But I will need details to fully recover from the agony. I’ll let you explain where you were last night to me during your bath.
Yours,
-Nigel
XOXO
P.S. I will keep giving you meat until you text me otherwise.
Tanner folded the letter and handed it back to me. “That’s so sweet of him. He never leaves me notes. Well, maybe he used to at first. I can’t remember, it’s been so long.”
“Sweet? More like murdery.”
“It seemed normal enough to me. What from that lovely note would possibly make you think he wants to lop off your head?”
“Poor choice of words. I think he probably wants to give me head.”
Tanner laughed. “Nigel isn’t gay. You’re leaning into this role here tonight a little too hard. Really, the note was kind and caring. Like I said, he’s a caretaker if anything.”
“He wants to watch me bathe.”
“Surely there will be bubbles hiding anything unseemly.”
“Tanner, Nigel is clearly into me. He makes me very uncomfortable.”
Tanner sighed. “Please don’t tell him that. His sole purpose is to make you feel comfortable. He said it in his note. He’d be devastated.”
“Well, I don’t want to devastate him.”
“Your parents were moderately wealthy,” Tanner said. “I can’t believe you didn’t grow up with a houseboy. They just take some getting used to. It took me forever to think of Nigel as more of a friend than the little nuisance he sometimes insists on being.”