She just stared at me.
“You changed everything, Kennedy. I was fucking drowning before you came crashing back into my life.”
A tear slid down her cheek.
I risked her slapping me again and reached out to wipe her tears away. “So please just come inside. And we can talk this through.”
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She shook her head. “I can’t do this with you, Matt.”
“Do what?”
“Get tangled up in whatever you just said. If you owe some kind of debt to Brooklyn’s dad…”
“I don’t. I swear I don’t. Scarlett was in danger. And I’d do anything to keep that little girl safe. This was the only way. I swear if I think of something else, you’ll be the first to know.”
“So James has a kid?”
I smiled. “Two actually.”
“I can’t picture him being a dad. When did we all get so old?”
“You look anything but old.”
She looked down at her shoes.
“That’s what the date is, by the way. Mason, Rob, and James are all inside for guys’ night. I was kinda thinking I could surprise them with…you. And the fact that we’re dating.”
“So they don’t even know I’m coming?”
I shook my head.
“And they don’t know that we’re dating?”
“Not yet.” I smiled down at her. “That’s kind of what tonight was for.”
She took a deep breath. “I think maybe we should keep it that way.”
“You want to do something else tonight?”
“I mean the dating thing. We’re not dating, Matt. Not anymore. I’ve been in a toxic relationship before. And I’m not putting myself in a situation to get stepped all over again. I can’t.”
“Kennedy…”
“We’ll be friends. Until you get this sorted out with Poppy. Okay?”
“Just friends?”
She nodded. “Just friends.”
I was so close. So close to getting to be happy. So close to getting the girl for once. I didn’t know how long this shit with Poppy was going to take. Days? Months? Longer? I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. But I had to respect Kennedy’s decision. I’d never force her to be with me in secret. Despite what she’d said, I’d learned my lesson on that. “Okay.”
“Okay.” She exhaled slowly. “So I’m just going to go then.”
“You can still come up, Kennedy. All the guys are going to be thrilled to see you.”
“I don’t really feel like hanging out with everyone when I feel like I’m about to start crying.”
“I’m sure Rob will make you smile.”
She laughed. “That’s true. I have to admit, I kind of miss his jokes. But won’t it be weird?”
“Why would it be weird? You and I have always been friends. Nothing will change that.” But it was a lie. Everything changed as soon as I kissed her. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t know how to go back.
“Right.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
I could already feel her slipping away. “Come on. It’ll be fun.” I put my hand out for her.
She ignored my offered hand. But she leaned in to tell the taxi driver he didn’t have to wait any longer. “I’m sorry about the flowers,” she said as the taxi sped off.
“It’s okay. At the last minute I realized you’d probably prefer French fries anyway.”
She laughed. “Very true. But for the record, when you’ve done something wrong and want to bring flowers, my favorites are tulips. I can’t even remember where my mom and I were going. But we were on a trip and we passed by this huge field of tulips. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”
I didn’t say a word as we walked side by side into James’ building. But if she thought she wasn’t getting a tulip every day until she took me back, she was sorely mistaken. We got on the elevator and I could feel the distance between us. She leaned against the wall on the opposite side of me. And all I could think about was closing the distance between us.
Chapter 38
Friday
“Stop looking at me like that,” Kennedy said.
“Like what?”
“Like more than friends.”
“I don’t know how to not do that,” I said.
Kennedy shook her head. “You’re making this harder than it has to be. It’s like you said earlier, we’ve always been friends.”
“That was before I kissed you.” I watched as her cheeks grew rosy.
“Cut it out,” she said.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes you are,” she said with a laugh. “You’re over there looking all sexy, staring at me.”
I smiled. “You think I’m sexy?”
“Try harder to look at me like we’re just friends,” she said, ignoring me.
I closed the distance between us in the elevator.
She looked up at me. “Matt…”
“You can’t deny that you feel this too.”
“Of course I feel this.” She put her hand on my chest and then quickly removed it. “I didn’t say this wasn’t hard for me. I just…I don’t want to be with someone that isn’t all in. And you can’t be all in right now.”
“I am all in.”
“Except in public where you’re all in with another woman?”
I pressed my lips together.
“We’re just hitting pause,” she said. But her words didn’t fit her actions, because she drew a fraction of an inch closer.
I didn’t say a word. I just stared down at her.
She leaned forward, her lips stopping by my ear. Her hand rested on my shoulder.
It took every ounce of restraint I had not to hit the emergency button on the elevator to bring it to a halt. I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted something so badly.
“Try harder,” she whispered and then took a step back.
Kennedy Alcaraz was a tease. And I was pretty sure I was falling in love with her. “Maybe you should try harder to keep your hands to yourself, Alcaraz.”
“Don’t call me that,” she said with a laugh.
“You know the alternative.”
She rolled her eyes.
And the elevator doors dinged open, ending our conversation. Because Tanner was standing there.
He looked at us standing on opposite sides of the elevator.
“I guess the conversation didn’t go as planned?” he asked.
Kennedy stared at me.
“Not exactly,” I said. I didn’t try to take her hand as I stepped off the elevator. “Kennedy, this is Tanner.”
“Matt’s best friend,” he said. “It’s lovely to finally meet you.”
“From one of Matt’s friends to another, it’s nice to meet you too, Tanner.”
“Friends?” Tanner looked at me. “Oh, it really didn’t go as planned then.”
“I thought you said no one knew about us yet?” Kennedy asked me.
I smiled. “Don’t worry. Only Tanner knows.”