A nice hard workout followed by a huge, delicious meal is one of the great joys of life, in my humble opinion.
So I’m a happy camper when, after baseball practice Saturday afternoon, Ryan and I have an all-you-can eat feast in the Greene State U campus café.
“So you’ve been spending a lot of time over at Jennifer’s lately,” I say, then take a nice long swig of chocolate milk, one of my favorite after-workout treats.
“Yeah, well, she is my fiancée,” Ryan says, then takes a big bite of a taco.
Since our rift a few weeks ago when I was about to tell him what I really think of Jennifer but never fully went there, there’s been a light but notable tension in the air between the two of us.
“Yeah no, man, I just…it’s important not to lose your own identity when you’re in a relationship. You’ve still got to keep up with your friends. I was at the frat house yesterday and Ian mentioned you haven’t been to a pledge meeting all winter.”
Ryan rolls his eyes. “We’re seniors. We’re allowed to be loose with meeting attendance. We’re on the way out. Plus man, I’m more worried about real life, about marriage. And making Jennifer happy. She wants me over there a lot, so we can go through the wedding planning together. And you know what Jennifer always says, and she’s right: happy wife, happy life.”
The happy wife, happy life adage isn’t necessarily wrong, but I can’t help thinking that Ryan has gotten to the point where he only feels happy when Jennifer is happy. I’m no shrink, but that seems like some sort of unhealthy emotional co-dependence. In any case, my abdominals clench up involuntarily at hearing the words ‘Jennifer’ and ‘wife’ in the same sentence.
After I finish chewing a bite of my chicken limón, I look Ryan in the eye, and refocus my energy.
I’m playing the long game, I remind myself. Incepting the idea of a breakup into Ryan’s head is not going to be easy. But it’s necessary. And if I ever have even an inkling of doubt, I just remind myself what Skylar overheard from Jennifer.
Ryan’s perfect: A simple man who is easy to please.
I’d be smarter than to cheat on him right away. I’d wait until we’re locked in and I can take half of what he has.
And to play the long con that is Operation Romper, I’ve got to understand the feelings he’s had throughout his relationship with Jennifer.
Then I can start incepting into him the idea that I’m having very similar thoughts as he did about Jennifer, about Skylar right now, in the ‘courtship/transitioning to boyfriend and girlfriend’ phase of our fake relationship.
“Serious question, man,” I say, waving a piece of chicken with my fork. “How did you know you were in love with her?”
Ryan tips his head back and blinks a few times. “Man, that’s a deep question for a Saturday afternoon.” He squints. “Why the interrogation?”
I recoil. “Interrogation? I mean, you’re marrying the girl. I hope you know the answer to how you fell in love.”
He shakes his head. “God, she’s so right, she can read you like a book.”
Chills wash over me, déjà vu to the first time I tried to even broach the subject with him.
“I don’t follow,” I say.
“Yeah, you keep inquiring about the strength of our partnership. You’re totally a bad influence on me. You want me to be a flavor-of-the-week guy, like you are. Single guys don’t like it when their best friends aren’t single.”
“Man, you’re reading into this question too much. Why can’t a guy ask another guy about how he falls in love? I was abroad the term you two met, so I never got to really see how it all went down. And I’m curious what your experience is like for my own reference, if I ever fall in love.”
Ryan turns his head toward the window, clenching his jaw. I don’t know if he’s tense because he’s a typical beer-and-bratwurst masculinity guy who sometimes seems afraid of his own depth of emotion, or just because Jennifer has planted the idea that every time I ask about their relationship, I’m aiming to push a wedge in between them.
“That’s just none of your business,” he spits out. “Why do you suddenly care about us? Last term you seemed totally disinterested in the goings-on between us.”
Because I assumed you were going to wise up and break up with her. How wrong I was.
Clearly the straightforward maneuver isn’t working with Ryan, so I try something else. I pinch the bridge of my nose and play like something has been on my mind.
“Man, it’s just that, I think I really like Skylar,” I say. “I’m not used to feeling like this about a girl. When I was dating around last term, I didn’t give a shit if those women came or went. But when it comes to her, I just feel…different than the rest. It reminds me a little bit of how I think you used to feel about Jennifer, you know? I thought I’d ask you, man to man. If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”
I give myself a high five in my mind for that Inception bit I just pulled. It reminds me a little bit of how I think you used to feel about Jennifer. I’m definitely going to have to mention that to Sky the next time we get together.
“Oh.” He lets out a loud breath. “Oh shit, sorry man. I completely overreacted. I thought…ha, it’s so silly, now that I think about it.”
“What’s silly?”
“Aw shit, since it’s obviously not true, I’ll just tell you. Jennifer thinks you’re trying to break us up. Isn’t that wild?”
My mouth dries up instantly. Skylar is so right. Jennifer has a freaking bloodhound nose. How on earth would she know? Are we not being convincing enough?
Maybe I’m overreacting. I mean, even someone with Jennifer’s sinister brain couldn’t predict a plan as elaborate as what Sky and I have devised.
I laugh, and it comes out a little too awkwardly. “Wow, that’s rough. Not my style, man. Nah, I just realized you never fully told me how you met Jennifer, and it made me curious to hear your origin story.”
He sits back in his chair, holding a half-eaten taco in his hand. “Well, we met fall term junior year. Obviously. The night is a little hazy but I do remember that she introduced herself to me at our Barndance party in October, and insisted we go back up to my room and take quite a few shots. The next morning, she woke up in my bed, and well, things just spring boarded from there.”
“After a one-night stand?”
“Not a one-night stand, man. She’s not that kind of girl. Anyway, a couple of weeks later, she happened to be at the house when my parents came back for homecoming weekend. They really loved her, and, well, the rest is history.”
It’s not lost on me that, at no point does Ryan answer my actual question. But I’m not going to press him any more than I already have. He’s already suspicious so I’m not going to press my luck. Still, it feels nuts that I’m using kid gloves on my best friend right now. It truly feels like he’s been brainwashed. It also feels to me like he’s lost, and is unsure of what love really is, which isn’t what I wanted to hear from him.
Plus, the fact that they went from a one-night stand to Jennifer meeting his parents in three weeks makes me wonder if this was some sort of Gone Girl-ish master plot conceived by Jennifer, where she did her research and found out that Ryan would be one of the easiest guys on campus to manipulate in this way. It wouldn’t be a stretch for her to know that he comes from money. Everyone knows about his father being the CEO of their million-dollar family business.