And yet, the dragonman was right. Lachlan would only waste time and resources that could better be used to find his mate. His recklessness could end up costing Cat her life.
As much as it pained him to admit it, standing back was the best way to help her.
He nodded reluctantly, cleared the emotion from his throat, and looked Kai dead in the eye. "Tell me the second you find her, aye?"
Kai gripped his shoulder and squeezed. "You have my word."
After one last glance down the hallway, which seemed to fill up with more smoke by the second, Lachlan allowed someone to guide him out of the building and to a safe meeting point on a slight hill.
From a distance, he could see how much worse it was than even he'd thought.
Smoke billowed from the building. Some windows had already shattered, with flames licking the air. And an increasing number of dragons flew nearby, circling and waiting for some order Lachlan didn't know.
And even though the chaos in front of him all but signaled the end of his career with the DDA, Lachlan didn't fucking care. All that mattered was Cat and his unborn child.
Because if she didn't survive, he didn't think he would either.
He wasn't self-hating enough to believe it was all his fault, but he could've tried harder to convince her to stay home. Or to talk with Finn to ensure she never set foot in the building while a possible enemy waited in the distance.
Despite everything, he still hadn't been able to protect those he cared for.
He had no idea how long he stood there, watching the blaze consume more and more of the building, when an explosion broke any remaining windows and destroyed most of the roof.
Lachlan didn't flinch or cry out.
No. Instead, he dropped to his knees and put his head in his hands, a heaviness he could barely breathe through weighing down on him.
The explosion was so much more than a destroyed project. He'd heard nothing about Cat, and he doubted anyone could've survived the explosion that had collapsed most of the roof.
Had he actually lost her? Would he never see her smile again? Or observe the gleam of mischief in her eyes before she drew out the long, dusted parts of him that liked to have fun?
Never touch her soft skin or take pride in how she flushed when he made her come?
Never watch her hold their bairn in her arms, with love in her eyes for the child they'd made?
Fuck. How could this have happened?
Was she truly gone?
He didn't want to believe it, but he might just have to face the ugly truth: he'd lost his love and best friend, not to mention their unborn child.
He expected sadness, but a sense of emptiness engulfed him. Too numb to do anything but sit on the ground, he nearly jumped when someone shook his shoulder.
Lowering his hands from his face, he found Faye MacKenzie's wild hair and brown eyes, her gaze filled with…irritation?
He finally caught her words. "I've been looking all over for you. Come with me to the surgery."
Lachlan looked back to the building. "Why? The doctor can't bring back the dead."
Faye grunted. "Cat's alive, you bloody bastard."
He instantly stood and took hold of Faye's shoulders. "What?"
"I won't lie—she's hurt badly. But she's alive. So if you want to see her, come with me."
She marched and he followed. A light of hope flickered within his chest. Maybe, just maybe, he'd have another chance to protect his mate from the world. To grow old with her.
To have children with her.
Although the thought made his chest tighten. Faye hadn't mentioned the bairn and might have not done so on purpose.
He wanted to ask but feared learning his child was gone might overwhelm him to the point he couldn't help Cat when she needed it.
Focus on what you have now. Cat was alive. That was all he needed to know for the moment.
Whatever grief followed, they'd deal with it together.
Soon enough, they reached the surgery, and Faye took him past the waiting area and to a small room at the end of the hall.
Dr. Campbell and a male nurse Lachlan didn't know finished doing something, their tall forms blocking the bed and any views of Cat.
Turning, the doctor put up a hand to keep him in place before saying, "She's about to go into surgery. I can give you thirty seconds, but no more. And don't move her."
Lachlan nodded, and Dr. Campbell walked out of the room at the same time Lachlan raced to the bed.
Cat's face was covered in small cuts, a few bruises were starting to show, her skin was extremely pale, and she was entirely too still.
Lachlan barely contained a sob.
Taking a deep breath, he laid his fingers over hers and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Cat. And you'd bloody well better come out of this. I'm the one with the dark, emotional past, not you. So don't think you're going to outdo me."
She didn't move or respond.
And in that moment, he wanted nothing more than for Cat to roll her eyes at him again.
The male nurse spoke. "I need to wheel her out."
Lachlan kissed her lips gently and somehow forced himself to step back.
As he watched Cat disappear down a hallway, a numbness he'd never known settled over him.
That could be the last time he ever saw her alive again.
The floor began to spin, and strong hands guided him back into the room and forced him into a chair. Only when she spoke did he realize Faye was still with him. "Go on and cry. I've never understood the stupid unsaid rule that males are supposed to remain stoic at all times."
Somehow he croaked, "I can't."
Faye growled. "Don't be daft—"
He cut her off and met her gaze. "If I cry right now, it means I've given up. And I refuse to do that."
She studied him a second before sitting in the chair next to him. "Aye, well, that makes sense." She paused a second before saying softly, "Cat's strong, Lachlan. She won't give up easily."
"Aye, I know."
Silence fell, and neither one of them had the strength to fill it.
Eventually, Faye took his hand and squeezed. They remained like that, one as a husband and one as a friend, waiting to see if Cat made it through.
Lachlan had no idea how long he sat there in the room, waiting for information about Cat.
At one point, Faye had left and been replaced by Cat's mother, Sylvia.
And then the various MacAllister siblings rotated through in the chair by his side, murmuring things he didn't hear, until they all sat together in silence, waiting for any news on either Cat or the bairn.
Eventually, a very pregnant Dr. Layla McFarland appeared in the doorway, which only made him feel worse. She wasn't supposed to be working if she could help it, because of her difficult pregnancy.
However, as she started speaking, Lachlan forgot about everything but the words coming out of her mouth. "Let's start with the good news—Cat is alive and has a good chance of a full recovery."
An undefinable sound escaped his throat, and Sylvia took his hand. She was the one to ask, "What's the bad news?"
He tried to steer himself for the worse but still didn't know how he'd survive the loss of his child.
Dr. McFarland's voice softened. "It's still touch and go as it whether we can save the bairn or not. Cat's lost a lot of blood. And even if Cat were strong enough to brave a C-section, the wee female is far too young to survive outside the womb at this stage."