“Except Max,” I add.
“How did he get that black eye?”
I glance away once more, biting my lip. “Maybe we should change the subject.”
“Is it always like that?”
My nose twitches as I try to look back on family meals, wondering if I should answer honestly.
“Kind of,” I admit. “What about yours?”
His laugh gets louder, bouncing off the windows of the car. “My mum’s home is nothing like that. Even putting your elbow on the table is considered rude. And the topics you guys talked about? My mother would have a hernia.”
“What about your dad?” I ask, having already guessed he’s closer to his dad. He spoke of him fondly and often, unlike his mother and her side of his family— not including Alison.
He keeps silent for a moment before answering. “His dinners are different. We don’t really sit at the table. He likes listening to the tele, not to people chewing. But there’s always a steady flow of conversation.”
“That sounds nice; relaxing,” I tell him. “I eat my dinners in front of the television when I’m at mine too, but my mum prefers us being sat around the table when we are all together.”
“It was so much easier at my dad’s. I didn’t have to be on edge, wondering if I was doing something wrong.”
“I can’t imagine having to go through that. My parents have always been nothing but supportive of who we are. They are our biggest cheerleaders.”
“What do they think of you learning self-defence?”
“They are relieved. Mum has been really worried about me.”
“Did you get a chance to speak to her?”
My shoulders slump. “No,” I whisper. “We were interrupted and then we didn’t get any alone time afterwards. But I will talk to her.”
“It will be good for both of you.”
“Are you always this intuitive and sympathetic toward people?” I ask.
He quickly glances at me. “Um, no, I’m kind of an arsehole to most people and I like to keep to myself.”
I chuckle at his honesty. “Thank you for coming tonight. I know this isn’t what you had planned when I agreed to go to the wedding things with you.”
He takes the turning onto mine and Lily’s street before answering. “It beat eating a microwave meal. Your mum is a good cook.”
I wince at the reminder. “I’m sorry my uncle made you eat a large portion of my spag bol.”
Not everyone likes the vegetarian meals, but he didn’t leave a thing on his plate. Or maybe he did that to be polite?
“You’re kidding, aren’t you? I never thought I’d eat a veggie meal, but it was really good.”
The tension in my shoulders eases as he pulls up outside Lily’s.
“I’m glad,” I tell him. “What time are we leaving for the engagement party at the weekend?”
“I’ll pick you up at about half six. The party starts at half seven and it takes an hour or so to get there.”
“Won’t that mean you’re late?”
“The more guests that arrive before me, the better chance I have of avoiding my mum.”
A giggle slips free. “Okay, just message me if there are any changes.”
“You still on for Thursday?”
I nod. “I am.”
He pushes open his door and I reach over, stopping him from unclipping his belt. “You don’t need to walk me to the door. I’ll be fine. Plus, this is my cousin’s house. Her and her husband are in so no doubt he’ll be keeping an eye out. He’s had a camera installed in his garden.”
“You sure, because it will literally take two minutes.”
“It’s fine. I’ll see you Thursday.”
“See you then.”
I push the door open and step out of the car, but there’s something niggling at the back of my mind. Instead of closing the door, I lean down and pop my head back inside. “Can I ask you something?”
He gives me his full attention. “Yeah.”
“Why are you doing all of this? Is it because you’re friends with Landon?”
He doesn’t speak for a moment, and I begin to fear I shouldn’t have asked. I mean, he could just feel like he has to do these things.
When he doesn’t answer, I take a step back. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Does there need to be a reason?” he blurts out, and I grip the top of the door as I stare into his warm set of honey-coloured eyes.
“No, I guess not.”
I wonder what he looks like with wet hair.
Does he look like Jason Momoa when he walks out of the water in Justice League?
“Are you okay?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I brush my hair forward, hoping to hide the heat in my cheeks. “Y-yeah. Um, I need to go back to my cat. See you Thursday.”
His goodbye echoes through the night air as I quickly rush to the path that leads to my house. I slow down once I’m out of sight, taking in a few deep breaths.
Why do I act weird or word vomit when I’m around people?
I groan when I realise I probably always will.
The soft glow of the outdoor wall lantern luminates the area near my door. On the doorstep is a black flowerpot containing a bunch of red petunias.
Bending at the knees, I pick the pot up, along with the note the wind blew over. Tucking it under my arm, I grab my keys and let myself in.
It’s like a flashback is playing in the back of my head. The last time I received flowers, it didn’t go so well, and I never did find out who bought them for me. After all the counsel my mum has given me, I’m beginning to wonder if she was right, and that Scott sent those flowers as a way to start the fight.
But what purpose do these have? Why would he send these flowers when I haven’t heard from him since the night I ran out of this house, hurt and alone?
Why now?
Katnip hisses as soon as I walk through the door, bringing a smile to my face. “Hey, baby. You being a good girl?”
Hiss.
“Okay then.”
Hiss.
“One day, Katnip. One day.”
I head into the kitchen— my favourite place aside from the library—and place the pot on the side, then flick the main light on.
My heart is already pounding and all I have read is one word.
Charlotte.
“I can do this.”
Dread is threatening to pull me under. It has never been like this for me. I refuse to see anything but the good in this world.
And just when it feels like I'm starting to get that part of me back, it’s taken away from me again.
Pulling the card out of the envelope, I lean back against the counter, and read:
Rage roils and grief grows,
Heart hammers then suddenly slows.
Dare deny me what is mine,
And rage will have no friend to find.
A tap sounds on the backdoor window, startling me to the point a yelp slips free, and I drop the card. Madison presses her face against the glass, waving at me. Her light brown hair blows across her face, strands getting sucked into her mouth. I chuckle as she begins to choke.
I breathe out, shaking my head at her. “You scared me.”
She spits the hair out before answering. “Your dad wouldn’t let us come to the meal and I wanted to come over and see if it was true,” she calls through the door.