Etienne laughed and pulled him in again. “Yeah, I do. And you’re right—your face and body are icing on the cake, for sure, but I’m not here for that. I’m here for you.”
Adam closed his eyes. “I’m sorry people are shallow assholes. I’m sorry they don’t see you properly.”
Etienne kissed his hair. “You do. That’s all that matters.”
14
Practices were grueling, and workouts almost as much so. Etienne went on the road with the Thunder two weeks after Adam’s injury, riding the bus to the first of their away games.
Sure wish I had a private jet, he texted Adam. Some people have the sweet life.
If you were on the jet with me, I’d blow you in the bathroom, Adam replied.
Etienne smiled, the bus jostling and players talking around and over him. Do you ever think about anything besides sex?
I think about donuts, Adam responded. Does that count?
Depends. Are you thinking about having sex with the donuts?
Adam’s reply was a long time coming. Well, I WASN’T…
Etienne couldn’t stop the laugh, looking up to catch Rudy’s eye as he turned in his seat. Rudy grinned at him and turned back around.
They lost their first two away games, the first by a narrow margin and the second to a shutout, which demoralized everyone.
Rudy stood up in the aisle between the seats after the second one, when it was clear Coach Eglanton had nothing to say.
“So that sucked,” he said, drawing groans of agreement from everyone. “What’d we do wrong?”
“What didn’t we do wrong,” Johnny muttered.
“Okay, we’ll start with you,” Rudy said. “What should you have done differently?
Johnny slouched in his seat. “I shouldn’t have tried that drop pass.”
Liam patted his knee. “You’ll get it next time.”
“So in practices, Johnny, that’s what you’re going to focus on,” Rudy said. “Tibs, what about you?”
Liam glanced up. “Uh. I shouldn’t have tried for that goal in the second?”
“No, you should not have,” Rudy snapped. He swayed with the bus’s motion as it rumbled around a corner but kept his balance effortlessly. “You should have sent it to me, because you were covered in players and I was open, I was waiting, I was right there, but you let that dangle go to your head and all of a sudden you’re a rockstar. You’re good at your job, Tibby, but your job is keeping the others off me and the wingers. Don’t get me wrong—I want you to score. I’d love to see your numbers climb. But not when the team suffers as a result. Clear?”
Liam nodded, looking chagrined.
“Tenny, what did I do wrong?” Rudy asked.
Etienne jerked, startled. “What? You? Uh… nothing?”
“Not quite. I should have been more vigilant with my forechecking, and I also let that center get by me to score on Logan. What did you do wrong?”
Etienne grimaced. “I wasn’t in place for that pass you tried to send me.”
Rudy just nodded. He surveyed the bus, the dejected faces surrounding him. “We played a subpar game. It happens. But even shitty games can help, because now we have a better idea of the weaknesses in our defense we need to shore up, and the drills we need to run to get faster and stronger. We’ll do better next time. Right?”
The players mumbled.
Rudy’s tone sharpened. “Right?”
“Right!” they chorused back to him.
Satisfied, Rudy nodded and sat down.
They won their next two games and sprayed Rudy with Gatorade after the second one as he spluttered and laughed.
15
Back in Toronto, Adam was going out of his mind with boredom and frustration. He and Etienne texted constantly, but they couldn’t easily talk on the phone, what with Etienne sharing a room with Josef, a Polish defenseman.
He’s a decent guy, I guess, Etienne told him. Doesn’t pick up his stuff, though, I keep tripping over his shoes.
Adam thought guiltily of the shoes he’d kicked off and left in the doorway. When do you get back?
Two more days.
It felt like a lifetime.
Last game tomorrow, then travel time home, Etienne sent. How’s your head?
Fine, Adam sent. Bruise is almost completely gone and everything. See? He snapped a quick picture and sent it.
No headaches?
Nope. Just bored out of my skull. Training and practice are important, but I’m dying to get back on the ice.
What about your vision?
Adam rolled his eyes. It’s fine. Don’t fuss.
I’ll fuss if I want to. Any changes at all to the blurred spot?
None, Adam sent, suppressing sudden irritation. Do you want to check my blood sugar and potassium levels while you’re at it?
Etienne was silent for a long moment, and then the phone rang in Adam’s hand.
He squeezed his eyes shut and answered it. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“What’s going on?” Etienne’s voice was so deep and soothing, Adam could listen to him talk all day. He didn’t sound angry—he sounded worried.
“Nothing.” Adam sighed and flopped back onto the bed. “Josef doesn’t care about you talking on the phone?”
“I went for a walk around the motel,” Etienne said. “Talk to me, Cary.”
Trust Etienne to know it was more than simple irritability. “Noemi called. They’re working on scheduling the wedding, and they needed to know what dates I’d be available to fly out.”
“And you don’t want to go?”
Adam stared at the ceiling. “I do. I want to see them again. But….” He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna come out to them while I’m there.”
“Okay,” Etienne said, his tone warm and proud. “You can do this.”
Adam scowled. “I shouldn’t have to. It’s fucking stupid. Straight people don’t have to come out, why do we?”
“I know,” Etienne said soothingly. “Things are changing, but it’s slow. You’ll still be okay. What dates do they have in mind?”
“Sometime in January, I think. I sent her my calendar and she’s going to let me know. She said she’s going to try to schedule it during our bye week.”
“You’ll be fine. They’re not going to love you any less.”
“Come with me,” Adam said impulsively.
“I—what?”
Adam sat up. “Come with me to Seattle, Tenny. Please? I’ll pay for your ticket and expenses, all of it. My parents have already met you and everything.”
“So you want to just turn up with a boyfriend as the slideshow portion of your coming out presentation?” Etienne inquired.
“Exhibit A,” Adam said brightly, and relished the sound of Etienne’s soft chuckle.
“I don’t know what the team has scheduled in January,” Etienne said. “I’ll look and see. If I’m free, I’ll… think about it.”
“I miss you,” Adam said, lying back down. Maybe he should have felt embarrassed about admitting that, but he didn’t. It was the truth, and he wanted Etienne to know it.