“That’s not what I’m concerned about.”
“What’s the problem, then?”
“Pregnancy. I don’t want a kid. You carry a rubber around in your purse. Does that mean…?”
“Extra protection. I’m on the pill.”
I heave out a sigh of relief. Still naked, I sit down next to her. “Thank God.”
She lets out a nervous laugh. “The good news is we don’t have to use condoms anymore.”
“I always use condoms.”
“Why? If we’re both clean, and I— Oh.” She presses her lips together.
“Finish what you were going to say, Skye.”
She inhales and lets out a stream of breath slowly. “I’m not the only woman you’re sleeping with, am I?”
“This week you are.”
The words are true, but I know how they must sound to her. Though I desire Skye more than I have any other woman, I’m not ready to say that she’s the only one. I’m not sure there is a “one” for me. I have specific tastes, and I don’t expect a woman to put up with me forever. I’m not wired that way anyway.
But this…
I never forget the condom. I treat my sex life the way I treat my business life.
A sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy would intrude on my lifestyle, so I minimize the chances of either of them occurring, just as I minimize the chances of any chink in my business armor as well.
Silence for a few more seconds. Then—
I turn to her. “That’s never happened to me before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never forgotten to put on a condom.”
I’m still naked. I should get dressed. But I’m finding it difficult to move. What does forgetting the condom imply?
Already I know the answer to my own question, even though I can’t let myself begin to contemplate it. To do so would entail admitting something I’m not ready to admit.
Except I don’t need an admission, because I already know.
It’s inside me, a part of me—something I can no longer deny.
Yes, I desire Skye more than I have any other woman. Yes, I find her a challenge. Yes, I want her to give up her control to me, to submit to me.
All that is true.
But there’s more. So much more that I didn’t plan on.
“Did you enjoy it?” Skye asks.
Is she kidding? I can’t help a huff. “Not using a condom? Hell yeah. You felt amazing.”
“Then why use them?”
“It’s hard to explain.” Not that hard to explain, actually. I don’t take unnecessary chances.
But if I look further inside myself, I see the ultimate truth.
It’s a barrier.
A barrier between my partner and me. I don’t want to get too close, so I don’t.
“Try.”
“I’m not sure. It’s kind of a…” I close my eyes. I can’t lie to her, yet I’m not ready to tell her the truth. A few seconds later, I open them and meet her gaze. “We’ve done enough talking for one night. I owe you a climax.”
Surely that will get her off this topic.
But I’m wrong.
“I don’t want you to sleep with anyone else while you’re sleeping with me.”
Not an issue. Rarely do I have a sexual relationship with more than one woman at a time.
“I told you. You’re the only one I’m sleeping with this week. I haven’t fucked anyone else since I started fucking you.”
“Good,” she says. “Keep it that way.”
“Skye—”
“If I’m your”—air quotes—“‘girlfriend,’ I deserve to be the only one in your bed.”
I stare at her. She’s asking for something no other woman has ever had the guts to ask from me. I’ve always been up front with women about my expectations.
I can’t help but admire her in this moment. She’s making a demand—a demand that, for all she knows, could signify the end of whatever this is between us.
The problem? I don’t want it to end. I haven’t gotten what I want from her. Perhaps, when she finally submits to me, I’ll have had enough of her and will be willing to let her go.
God, even the thought seems foreign.
What have I gotten into?
I’ve never made a guarantee like the one she’s asking for. Even though my MO is to be sexually involved with only one woman at a time, I’ve never made that promise.
I already know, though, what my answer is.
“Okay.”
Her eyebrows shoot up.
“You’re surprised,” I say.
“A little.”
“What kind of man do you think I am, Skye?”
“That’s just it, Braden. I don’t know what kind of man you are. You refuse to talk about anything personal. You’re intelligent, obviously. You’re an excellent businessperson. You do some charity work. But that’s all I know other than what magazines report.”
“You know I love oysters.”
“For God’s sake, Braden.”
I sigh. “You know as much as anyone else does. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, it’s not, especially if I’m”—air quotes again—“your ‘girlfriend.’”
She’s not wrong. What bothers me more, though, is that I want to open up to her. To show her who I truly am.
“Fuck,” I say through clenched teeth.
I grab her breast and thumb her nipple over two layers of fabric. I lean into her and can’t stop the words from flowing off my tongue.
“You want to know about me?” I rasp into her ear. “Here’s all you need. Since I laid eyes on you, I haven’t been able to think about anyone else. Your mouth, your tits, your curious and controlling nature—everything about you beguiles me. Since I first fucked you, all I can think about is fucking you again. You’re all I think about”—I bite her earlobe—“and it…perplexes me. Not much perplexes me, Skye. You’re like a narcotic. I hunger for you.” I inhale. “God, I love how you smell—like apples and sex. You taste even better. You want to be the only one in my bed? You don’t even have to ask. You’re the only woman I want right now. The only one.”