“You came through for me, every single time I needed you,” she insisted.
“They were all times when I couldn’t do anything wrong.” He shook his head. “But I didn’t realize it until we were eighteen. When your grandpa died.”
Jordan frowned and hugged her arms against her stomach. “What do you mean? You were awesome.”
“I showed up at your house at the end of the day.”
“Yeah, when I just needed to get out and find some peace and quiet.”
Fletcher nodded. “I know.”
His eyes were on her knees instead of her face. Though Jordan didn’t think he was really seeing her knees.
“I stayed at the back of the church during the funeral with my brothers and mom and dad. And I didn’t come over to your house until I figured you were pretty cried out.”
She frowned. “What are you getting at?”
He blew out a breath and looked up at her. “I couldn’t stand to see you cry. It was killing me how sad you were. And I had no idea what to say. So I waited until I didn’t need to say anything. Until I knew that all you needed was a drive and to listen to some music and just forget for a while.”
She didn’t say anything, just watched him.
“That’s when I realized how much I loved being the guy who could make things better for you. But I hated not being that guy. I loved it so much, and I knew you so well, I could always time it just right to make me seem like the big hero. But I waited out the tough stuff. For the stuff I didn’t know how to handle to be over.”
Jordan took a big breath. Oh boy. She saw what he was saying. She even believed him. He did always come in at the perfect moment.
So he did it on purpose.
Did that matter? If he showed up and did what needed to be done?
She tipped her head, studying him. No, it didn’t matter.
Except to him.
He clearly felt that he was half-assing things or something.
This was partly on her. Some of this pressure to be the perfect friend, the hero, the guy at just the right moments, came from her. Because she always let him think that he was getting it exactly right.
And he wasn’t.
But the things he did do were important. And she knew he had it in him to be there for the tough stuff.
“So how does slowing things down now make all of that better?”
“This is twenty-four-seven now,” he said. “And yeah, that’s freaking me out a little. I can’t just wait until the end of the day when bad things are happening. I can’t just show up at the last minute anymore.”
Ah. That made sense. She nodded. “Right. Okay. So what does the slowing down look like?”
“Just keeping things simple,” he said. “Or as simple as we can.”
“No dog yet. No pregnancy tests.”
“Right.” He said it emphatically.
She smiled. She understood what he was saying. She wasn’t worried that he’d bail on her when things got hard, but if he needed to prove something to himself, then she could let him.
Fletcher ran his hands down his thighs, then leaned in, resting his elbows on his knees. “Look, I want the dogs and the kids. I want it all, Jordan. Like I said, I’m in here. But I want to get it right. And I feel like we’ve just jumped over a bunch of steps that most couples take before they get to the marriage vows.”
“Like jumping to opening night of the play without building the set,” she said.
He gave her a half-smile. “Yeah. Something like that.”
“Does this have something to do with why you pulled back in the bedroom this morning and tried to distract yourself with gross, embarrassing memories?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. Then cleared his throat. “I didn’t want our first time to be a quickie.”
“It was really good, Fletcher.”
“But I’d intended to give you more…middle stuff.”
“More foreplay?”
He shrugged. “And other fun stuff. I mean, hot, fast sex against the wall before rushing off to work is very much about getting to the end, right?”
“Well, I have to say that ending was very happy,” she said, trying to keep her tone light.
“It was,” he agreed. His gaze met hers with a hot intensity. “But that’s just one more thing I’ve—we’ve—jumped ahead on. Most couples work up to sex. They kiss, they touch and make out. They figure out the other person’s turn-ons and the spots to kiss and touch to make them crazy. To make it a really…grand gesture.”
A ribbon of heat curled through her.
“Lots of people have one-night stands. Hookups that go from having a drink together to hot, dirty sex in the same night.” She narrowed her eyes. “I’d be willing to bet you’ve had some of those.”
He shifted, looking a little uncomfortable. She wanted to laugh. Of course he’d had some of those. Fletcher Landry had the Landry boys’ reputation. They all loved women and they loved to love women.
But this was serious for him. And she understood where he was coming from. She also understood that she was going to have to help him get over this.
“You are unlike any other woman. One-night stands and hot hookups can be forgettable,” Fletcher finally said. “They can be fine. They can be a good time, but that’s it. That’s not what we are. It has to be amazing. I won’t apologize for that. You are an exception to every rule. The sex has to be everything you want and need it to be. Period.”
She loved the deep, firm, confident tone. The ribbon of heat turned into a slow rolling wave of lust.
“So…you want heavy petting,” she said, her voice a little breathless.
“Heavy petting?”
“Your grandma’s term,” she said with a nod and a small grin. “Making out.”
“Yes,” he agreed easily. “Lots of that. I want to touch you and taste you and figure out exactly what you want and need.”
14
Damn, that sounded good to her. Jordan leaned in and pinned him with a similarly serious stare. “I’m not worried, Fletcher.”
“I’m glad.”
But she realized he was. Maybe not worried, exactly, but he had an idea of how he wanted this to go.
She let a long breath out and nodded. “Okay. We can slow it all down.”
“Thank you.”
She sat back. “I’m really excited about this new job.”
It took him just a second to process that she was changing the subject.
“I’m not surprised, but I’m really glad. You want to tell me about some of your plans?”
He caught on quick. “Well, if you want to slow down, I need to stop talking about you touching and tasting me,” she told him.
Fletcher’s eyes flickered with heat, but he nodded. “Tell me about your day.”
She laughed softly. But this was good. If Fletcher needed to know that sweeping her off her feet in Vegas and bringing her home had been a grand gesture and that he’d gotten it right, telling him about all of the plans for the petting zoo would definitely reassure him. Fletcher would want her to be happy and would be excited if she was excited about the things happening in Autre.