Sensing my growing unease, Anderson grabs my hand in his once more and gives it a squeeze.
“I am.”
“Captain Lawson has arranged for increased security not only here at the airfield, but also along the route to your residence. I’m in the process of coordinating a response with His Majesty. In the meantime, I’d advise both of you to remain silent.” He glances my way. “And if I might, I suggest Ms. Tremblay keep her left hand hidden. That way, no one sees you with or without a ring.”
Out of instinct, I move my left hand from the armrest, pulling it toward me, as if I should be ashamed.
“At least until we’ve had more time to discuss this with the royal household,” he adds with a trite smile.
“Captain Lawson and myself will exit the aircraft first. Once we reach the tarmac, you two will step out together, your right hand holding her left. You’ll pause at the top. Smile. Wave.” He pins me with a stare. “And I can’t stress this enough. No matter what you may hear shouted at you, you smile. You wave. You remain the picture of poise and sophistication.”
A queasiness overtakes me, my stomach roiling. What could anyone possibly say to warrant this sort of admonition?
“It’ll be okay.” Anderson touches my chin, turning my eyes toward him. “Like I told you… I’ll be by your side the entire time. You’ll eventually learn to tune out the noise. And that’s precisely what this is. Just noise.”
“If you say so…”
He steals a quick kiss, then turns his attention back to Bridge, awaiting his next instructions. I find this all a bit odd. One day soon, Anderson will lead this country, yet right now, he’s taking orders from his private secretary. Just shows how ignorant I am about how this world works.
“After a few seconds, you’ll descend the stairs and walk casually, yet briskly toward the waiting SUV,” Bridge continues. “You’ll help Ms. Tremblay in first, mindful to keep her left hand hidden from view. Once she’s inside, you’ll pause, giving the crowd one last wave. Then we’ll depart for Wintervale.”
I look at Anderson. “Wintervale?”
“It’s the name of my residence.”
“Oh. Right.”
Bridge looks at me with something that borders on disapproval, as if I should have known this. Why would I? It’s not like it’s ever come up in conversation. We typically steer clear of any discussion of his role as the future monarch.
Now I wonder if we were setting ourselves up for failure by ignoring the reality of who he is.
And who I am.
A commoner who fell in love with a prince.
“We’re ready when you are, sir,” Bridge states.
“Thank you. I’d like a moment with Ms. Tremblay.”
“Of course, Your Highness.” He bows, then spins, walking purposefully up the aisle, Creed following.
Anderson turns to me, his expression urgent. “I need you to promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
He grabs both my hands. “That no matter what happens, you won’t shut me out.”
“I’d never. I—”
“I know you, Nora. You lock up your feelings, not wanting people to use them against you, as your mother so often did. I get it. Trust me. I did the same thing. In this world, in this family, feelings are a commodity to be used against you. You learn at an early age to keep them to yourself. It’s the only way to survive.”
He drops his hold on my hands and cups my cheeks, edging toward me, his breath dancing on my lips.
“But I don’t want you to do that with me. Not now. Not with this world you’re about to enter. It will eat you up and spit you out, if for no other reason than because it can. Because it’s powerful. Because it’s bloody ruthless. When I was thrust into it, the only thing that helped me was my sister. Esme and I had each other. Were able to share our true feelings. And we still do.
“So I need you to promise me that you will always talk to me. That you won’t shut me out because you’re worried I’ll find your struggles to be a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. You, Nora Jean Tremblay, are one of the strongest women I know. Despite all my warnings about what you’ll have to give up, what you’ll have to endure, you still chose to walk away from the only life you’ve ever known to join me in mine. I’ll never be able to repay you for this. For everything you’ve given me.”
“You did get me a nice apartment on the Upper West Side to call home,” I remind him, trying to break through the tension. “Not to mention all the clothes and jewelry you’ve spoiled me with.”
“Those are material things. They can be replaced. But I hope you feel that my love for you is irreplaceable. Because your love for me will never be replaced.”
“And your love for me will never be replaced.” I graze my lips over his, our kiss light but still exhilarating. “I promise I won’t shut you out.”
He deepens the kiss, then reluctantly pulls away and stands before helping me to my feet. The instant I’m up, Anderson grips my face in his hands. “I love you so fucking much.” His gaze sears into me, not a touch of hesitation within his brilliant blue orbs. “Never forget that.”
“You won’t let me.”
“Damn straight, gorgeous.” He treats me to one last kiss. “Now, let’s get this dog and pony show over with.”
We position ourselves as Bridge instructed, Anderson’s right hand wrapped around my left. He brings it up to his mouth, kissing my vacant ring finger.
“I’m sorry about all of this. But for now, it’s best we don’t give them any more fuel for the fire, I suppose.”
“I understand.”
He kisses my knuckles again, then lowers my hand, clasping it in what feels like a death grip. As he leads me toward the front of the plane, my pulse steadily increases with each step, echoing in my ears.
Why do I feel like a condemned prisoner headed to the gallows? A small voice inside of me tells me that maybe it’s because, deep down, I realize I’m not good enough for Anderson. That he’d be better off with someone more appropriate. Someone from his typical social circles. Someone who can handle the spotlight. Someone you’d expect to see with a future king.
I do everything to silence that voice, but after a lifetime of being made to feel inadequate by my own mother, it’s difficult.
As we approach the open door, sunlight streams into the cabin. It feels like my legs are about to give out beneath me. And I’m not the only one anxious about this, either. When I notice a tremble in my hand, I glance to where it’s joined with Anderson’s, observing a subtle twitch.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry.”
I part my lips, about to tell him it’s my job to worry about him, but I’m cut off by Lieutenant Colonel Bridge.
“Ready, sir?” he asks.
Instead of answering, Anderson looks at me, a single brow arched.
Not wanting this country’s first impression of me to be of weakness, I hold my head high, my expression determined. “Ready.”
Chapter Five