That coolly displeased image took form once more.
“He then asked if I loved you.”
My heart gave a little jump. I knew the answer, but for my...father to ask that?
His gaze held mine. “I told him that I was willing to die a thousand deaths for you. That I loved you that much. Then he asked what I would do to be reunited with you. I told him I’d do anything.”
Tears filled my eyes as Cayman whispered from his side of the couch, “I wish I had chocolate.”
Ignoring that, Zayne swallowed thickly. “He didn’t seem surprised to hear that, but he told me that many of his brethren believe that kind of love to be a weakness.”
“His brethren are stupid,” I muttered.
“I think Michael thinks so, too. He seems to believe that kind of love is a strength if...used right.”
Instinct sparked, and I remembered how the Throne had said they believed that Zayne could be useful. My eyes narrowed. “What did he mean by that?”
“Well, he feels that love can be the proper motivator to not fail in the upcoming battle,” he explained. “Then he asked if I would be willing to be reborn again, even if that process was...less than pleasant. Honestly, I didn’t understand what that meant. At first, I thought he was talking about being reincarnated, and that just confused the Hell out of me. That was roughly when he told me about the origins of the Wardens.”
“Sounds like Michael expected you to Fall,” Cayman pointed out.
“You know, I was thinking that myself. It was the others who explained that once I had my Glory, I could stay. Protect Heaven. Or return to Earth when the time was right to aid you. Your father stood back and said nothing while they sort of pitched their side, but it wasn’t even a choice. I told them that I wanted to return to you and that would be the only way I would help fight Gabriel or protect Heaven.”
“You negotiated with angels before you were given your Glory and reborn?” I asked, a little dumbfounded.
“I did.”
“Surprised they didn’t just kick you out and send you way downtown at that point,” Cayman said.
I nodded. “Agreed.”
Zayne seemed generally unaffected by the shock both Cayman and I were feeling. “I knew I would find my way back to you, one way or the other. They needed me more than I needed them.”
“You are...” At a loss for words, I shook my head.
“Amazing?” he suggested, eyes glimmering.
“And so humble.” That earned me another laugh, and each of his laughs had a healing quality to it. One less ache became apparent. “How bad was it? Being reborn and getting your Glory back?”
“It was nothing.” He looked away then.
“Liar,” I said. “It hurt. Didn’t it?”
“Kind of a silly question.” Cayman shook a few animal crackers into his palm. “Besides the fact he had to get outfitted with superspecial wings, he got pumped full of grace. I doubt it felt like a massage.”
I shot him a look, and Cayman responded by tossing the handful of crackers into his mouth. “I need to know,” I told Zayne. “I need to know what you went through.”
His gaze coasted over my face. “Do you?”
“You would need to know if our situation was reversed.”
His chest rose with a deep breath, and I knew then he realized I was right. “It was like being on fire. Not just my skin, but my veins, my bones—every part of me. I thought I was dying all over again, and when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, that was when my wings changed. It felt like my skin was being carved open and new bone was being grown. It wasn’t exactly a quick process.”
“God.” I tipped over, plopping my forehead on his shoulder. “I’m—”
“Do not say you’re sorry. You have nothing to apologize for.” He cupped the back of my head. “I survived it. I’m here. I’d go through that a thousand times if necessary.”
“You guys are too cute,” Cayman commented. “I think I’m getting a toothache from all the sweetness.”
“Shut up.” I lifted my head.
Zayne’s hand slid to the nape of my neck as his gaze flicked over my shoulder. “You’re more than welcome to leave.”
“Hell, no. This is better than watching old episodes of The Bachelor.”
As close as our faces were, I saw Zayne roll his eyes before he slid his hand to my cheek, where he gently splayed his fingers. “What I felt was nothing compared to what I feared was happening to you,” he said, voice low. “It was temporary and worth it. Now I’m here, and nowhere near as easy to kill as before.” Sliding his hand away, Zayne sat back. “Michael already told me what Gabriel planned to do and what would happen if he succeeded. He told me you...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What did he tell you?” I persisted when he didn’t answer. “What? Did he tell you I would die? That Gabriel planned to use my blood to basically create the back door into Heaven?”
A muscle flexed along Zayne’s jaw. “That was all he needed to tell me.” The glow in his eyes brightened. “It’s not going to happen.”
“You’re right. It won’t,” I agreed even as unease blossomed in the pit of my stomach. Something about this wasn’t adding up. Zayne had been given unimaginable power even though my father and the Throne had suspected that he would Fall. They allowed it so he could come back to me. Sure, he’d have to deal with Gabriel, but would the angels be that accepting of Zayne’s choice, that generous afterward? Nothing I knew about them would suggest so. Then what was the catch? The sacrifice? The cost?
Fear punched through me. What if after we defeated Gabriel, they’d come after Zayne? Hunt him to either strip him of his grace or entomb him? What if Zayne’s return was temporary?
Unaware of my complete panic spiral, Zayne said, “It took me a bit to get used to the grace, how to control it and deal with it.” He moved, placing his hand on his chest. “I’m still not quite used to it. Sort of feels like a—”
“A constant low-level buzz of energy?” I finished for him, pushing the panic back. Now, while we had an audience, wasn’t the time to ask what the cost was. I really didn’t need to have a complete breakdown in front of Cayman.
Zayne smiled that beautiful smile then, and I felt the catch in my chest. “Now I know why you have such a hard time sitting still.”
“That’s it?” Cayman asked, and I looked over at him. He’d set the box on the coffee table. “They gave you a superdose of grace and allowed you to Fall. Let’s be real. They didn’t do that so you could be with Trinity. Most of them don’t care about all your warm fuzzies for one another.”