God, I’ll never get enough of him.
I slide my hands up under his sweatshirt, skimming over his muscular back, worshiping every inch I can reach. His back arches as he grinds his ass against my dick.
“I need you,” I murmur, tugging his sweatshirt from his body. “Now.”
He gasps against my lips at my fingertips, teasing his hard nipples. “Bedroom.”
“No, here,” I challenge with a nip to his bottom lip. “Where anyone could see.”
Pulling from our kiss, he frowns. “No, man.”
“No one will really see, Wonderland.” I lean forward to capture his neck with a claiming suck. “I want to fuck you right here, though.”
His fingers grip my hair, and he yanks my head back so I’m forced to look into his dark, fathomless stare. “It’s reckless.”
“We’re reckless,” I remind him.
A stormy expression passes over his features. “We can’t be. Not if we plan on remaining an ‘us.’”
Anger churns in my gut. “I’m tired of hiding. It’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair,” he growls. “Besides, you promised.”
“Months ago,” I bark back, losing my temper. “I promised back then, but things have changed.”
“Nothing’s changed,” he hisses, his words sharp and stinging. “Nothing.”
I glower at him, trying like hell to read into his words. What the fuck does that even mean? Nothing’s changed? Is he insane? Everything’s changed. We went from enemies to lovers to boyfriends to brothers to this. An us. A forever kind of us with a future. With fucking cats to chase away the goddamn mice.
“Everything’s changed,” I whisper. “I want to love you freely. In front of everyone, especially our family.”
He scrambles away from me, gaping at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I finally found it. It’s not a big deal. Dad owes me forgiveness anyway since I gave it to him after what he did to Mom and us. Quinn adores Alis and loves him unconditionally. Alis is delusional if he thinks otherwise.
“No,” Alis snaps, his voice shrill as he scampers away from me. “We can’t.”
He storms away toward his bedroom, leaving me sprawled out on the floor with an annoying erection that he’s clearly not in the mood to take care of. I spring to my feet, darting after him. The fucker actually tries to shove the door against me as I attempt to come inside. Luckily, I’m bigger and stronger than him. This pisses him off based on the furious snarl he lets loose when I elbow into his room despite his best efforts to keep me out.
“Stop,” I command, grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him against the wall. “What the hell is your problem?”
His pink lips are puffy and red from our kissing. My mouth waters to taste him again, but I’m mad at his bitchiness. I’m not kissing his beautiful, perfect mouth until he loses his attitude problem.
All emotion floods from his features, and he drops his gaze to my mouth. “Canyon…”
“Mmm?”
I can’t help myself. Even when he annoys me, I need to touch and kiss him. He’s mine, and I’m his. It’s just how it is. I nuzzle my nose against his.
“I think…” He swallows hard as though it’s a struggle to form words.
“I love you too,” I whisper as he murmurs out the words, “I think we should break up.”
Time stops at the same time my heart does.
What. The. Fuck?
Alister
He loves me?
Pain lances through me, shredding my heart and making my stomach twist violently. It doesn’t matter. Things are getting too out of hand. I almost kissed him at dinner. In front of our dads. Then, later, he tried to hold my hand in front of them. We’re going to get caught, and I can’t handle the fallout. Not now. Not when my life feels so brittle and wrecked. Dad will kick me out. Send me packing to go live with my real dad.
I try to imagine a life in St. Louis with Colin. He paints a picture of me going to college and then coming to work for him. Of us doing father-son activities to make up for the years we lost. He claims it’s where I belong. With him. As his son.
I’d been fighting it tooth and nail because I don’t want to go there. I feel like I’m being forced to choose between Quinn and Colin as my dad. There’s never a question. Quinn is the father I know and love. Being out in the open with Canyon means giving my dad up. Writing one person out of my life to write a new one in. I shouldn’t have to choose. The longer I’m with Canyon, the harder the choice will be. As it stands, I could keep them both in my life—even if Canyon hated me for it—if we broke up. I could still live here and see them.
The alternative is Colin.
“I can’t lose him,” I tell Canyon, my voice quaking as tears burn at my eyes. “I can’t.”
A dark look clouds over his features. “But you can lose me?”
“No,” I choke out. “I keep you both this way.”
His blue eyes flare with rage. “Fuck you, Sommers.”
He starts to shove away from me, but I’m not done with him. Hell, I don’t think I’ll ever be done with him. My fingers latch onto his shirt, yanking him to me. His forehead presses to mine, but he makes no moves to touch me. He’s trembling. With fear or anger, I don’t know. All I know is it makes me want to pull him into my arms until the shaking subsides.
“It’s for the best,” I lie even as the tears of my truth streak down my cheeks.
“No.” Canyon shakes his head, but since it’s pressed to mine, my head moves with his. “I already promised you. Roommates, remember? We’re getting a cat.”
The desperation in his voice is like acid on an open wound. I flinch from the searing awfulness of it. Because I’m responsible for the sound. Strong, unflappable Canyon Voss is close to begging. It’s more than I can handle.
“They can’t find out, and they will—”
“They won’t,” he hisses. “I swear it. Please, Wonderland, for fuck’s sake, don’t do this to me.”
Someone sobs and I don’t know if it’s one or the both of us in pained unison.
“But, you said—”
“Forget what I said,” he whispers. “I take it back. We can stay a secret forever as long as there is a forever.”
Forever feels too good to be true.
It always has.
Since I was ten years old, all the good parts of my life felt temporary. The inevitability of my harsh life was to return when I least expected it.
His thumbs swipe away the wetness on my cheeks, and then he captures my lips in a rough, possessive kiss. As though he can keep me rooted here by writing it into law with each nip, suck, and caress of his mouth over mine.
I want to believe in his unspoken promises.
That we can remain a secret, and I can keep Dad too.
He pulls back long enough to peel off his shirt, and then his lips are on mine again. We fumble at each other’s pants, both of us eager to be skin on skin. It’s a scramble to see who can get naked faster, all while never breaking stride with our kissing.
I don’t want to lose this. I need Canyon. He fills me up with heat and happiness and him. I get drunk off his taste and smell and touch.