Willow
I stand in the middle of the stall with the white envelope in my hand containing the check of six hundred dollars in my hand. In my name. For work that I didn’t even know I was doing.
The past week has been a dream come true for me. Waking up every morning, I’m eager to start the day and itching to get up and get to the barn where my joy waits for me. The nights have been smooth sailing with no nightmares. No dreams of darkness, but instead of green trees and my girl Hope.
It’s not to say that I was free. Oh no, those fears are ingrained in me. Fear that it would be taken away from me in the middle of the night. Fear that I’ll wake up and everyone will know the whole truth about me. Fear that when I look into Quinn’s eyes, there won’t be the light in it, but instead hatred. So, I kept my bag tucked away close to the bed. A bed that I slept in every single night but refused to get under the covers. Just like the closet full of clothes all waiting for me, yet I stick to two pairs of jeans. I wear one during the day and one at night to sleep in.
I walk out of the stall and look down the pathway seeing a couple of people I’ve met this week. People who had no idea I was a broken woman. People who accepted me with a smile and a nod. People who come in every single morning and say good morning. None of them looking at me differently because of who I was or where I came from. To them, I am just Willow, the girl who mucks out the stalls for fun. Who talks to the horses and brings them water and food. To them, I’m just Willow, and I’ve never been just Willow.
I walk out of the stall and head over to Hope’s stall. “Did you eat?" I ask, and I walk to her and hug her neck. “I love you, pretty girl,” I say with tears in my eyes. Tears because that is the first time in my life that I said those words out loud. Tears because I know what it’s like to love someone for the first time in my life. My heart hammers in my chest so hard that I think I’m going to have a panic attack. I start to pant out, and Hope must feel it because she moves her head and I look into her eyes. "Look at us,” I say, laughing while I use the back of my hand to wipe away my tears. “Two broken souls finding love." I laugh at the irony of it.
"Hey," Amelia says, sticking her head into the stall. “Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I say softly. “Just a bit—"
"Overwhelmed." She finishes the sentence for me. “I get it."
I look at her and shake my head. “You are the most put-together person I have ever met,” I say. She has uprooted her life to move into Quinn’s house for me. She has two jobs, and I think she sleeps less than I do.
"It’s smoke and mirrors,” she says. “I’m burning the candle at both ends, as my grandmother says, and I’m feeling it starting to catch up to me."
"Can I help?" I ask, and she smiles at me.
"Not unless you can make more hours to the day," she jokes, and if I could, I would make it happen for her. "You have a doctor's appointment today."
"Oh, shit,” I say, putting my hand to my head. “I forgot."
"Quinn is waiting for you in the office,” she says, and I nod at her.
"I’ll be right there,” I say, and she turns to walk away.
"Okay, I’m going to leave for a bit," I tell Hope. “Hopefully, they take this sling off today." I smile at her and walk out, clicking the doors closed.
Walking toward the office, I see Quinn sitting in the chair while he’s on his phone. He looks up at me and smiles when he sees me, and my heart stops beating in my chest. It does that every single time he looks at me or talks to me. Or we sit on the swing at night after supper, and our hands are close to each other. "Are you ready?" he asks, and I just nod at him. "Call me if there is anything,” he says to Amelia.
"Have fun,” she says, taking another gulp from her cup of coffee. “Good luck.” She turns back and returns to whatever paperwork she’s doing. We walk over to the golf cart, and in a matter of minutes, we are back home.
"I have to shower quickly,” I say, and he just nods at me.
"I’ll do the same,” he says. “We have time. Your appointment is not for another hour."
I walk toward the bedroom, not looking back at him. I take my shower in record time, my arm hurting less and less. I walk out and go toward the pair of clean jeans folded on the chair. I pick them up, and I’m about to put them on when I turn around and walk into the full closet. Grabbing one of the pair of jeans that I’ve been dying to try on—a light blue pair—I slip them on, wondering if it would be okay if I used these jeans also. I could pay for them if they say anything. I grab one of the white tank tops and slip it on. I slip on the white running shoes that I wore one day to the barn and got them just a touch dirty. I get up and look at myself in the mirror, and for the first time, I’m shocked.
My face is fuller than it’s ever been. My cheeks have little freckles that look like they are coming out. My arms have a bronze color, and my eyes, my eyes have never been so clear. I look down, not sure I want to think what I’m thinking.
I walk out and see that Quinn is in the kitchen wearing dark blue jeans with a white T-shirt, and his hair is wet from the shower. His eyes are focused on his phone. "Are you ready?" I ask. He looks up, and his mouth hangs open.
"You …" he says. “You look beautiful, Willow." I smile.
I want to tell him that it’s the new jeans, but all the words leave my head. “Thank you,” I say to him, and he gets up and walks to me, his hand going to my lower back like he always does. He opens the door for me and buckles my seat belt for me. "I can do it,” I say, and he stops moving. His face is in front of mine, and when I look into his eyes, I can see the little flecks of blue.
"Soon, you won’t need me for anything,” he says, his voice soft, and I swallow down the fear that is creeping up again. He moves away from me, shutting the door. I look out the window the whole time we drive.
Shirley spots us walking right away, and she throws up her hands. “Oh my goodness,” she says, walking toward us. “Who do we have here?” I laugh, seeing her, and she hugs me softly. “You look like a brand-new person.” She looks at me and then at Quinn. “What have you been doing?”
“I’ve been resting,” I say and look down.
“Not with that tan, you haven’t.” She laughs.
“I’ve been hanging around the barn,” I say and then look at Quinn.
“She’s been more than hanging out. She’s been working with the horses.”
Shirley’s eyes go big. “Oh, my.”
“I get them water and feed them,” I say, shaking my head.
“She mucks their stalls and makes sure they get exercise,” Quinn says, and when I look up at him this time, I see how proud he is.
“Well, I’ll be,” Shirley says. “Now let’s see how that shoulder is healing.”
Two hours later, I’m walking out of the hospital with no sling on. “Does it hurt?” Quinn says, looking over at me and stopping in the middle of the walkway. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”