When we got here, it was almost as if I was in a movie. You know the movies that you wish you lived in. When we get to the truck, he opens the door for me. I step in front of him to get into the truck, looking up at him. “Thank you,” I say again. “For making this the best day ever.” I look down, and when I look up, he is over me, kissing me again. But this time, the kiss is not as soft as before. The need to get him even closer to me kicks into me as I arch my back so I can get closer to him.
Again, he is the one to stop the kiss, and I wonder if I’m doing it wrong. “We have to get out of here before I pull you into the back, and we spend all night here.” I look down, trying to hide the fact that my cheeks are burning. I step into the truck and watch as he closes the door.
He gets into the truck, and I turn to look at him when he pulls out of the parking lot. The number of cars has almost doubled since we got here, yet all I saw was Quinn. All I ever see is Quinn. The ride back to his house is quiet. My head goes around and around with things I want to tell him. Things he needs to know. Things I want to share with him.
“I’ve kissed one guy my whole life,” I say, and he looks over at me. “When I turned sixteen.” He doesn’t say anything knowing that I’m not finished. “I kissed him so I could control who I kissed. It was the only thing I got to choose in my life.” I shake my head, thinking about it. “I wasted my first kiss.” I look at him. “I didn’t want to kiss him. But I did anyway. But you, Quinn,” I say his name, and I look up at him. I’m waiting to see him look at me differently. “You, I want to kiss. I want to kiss you all the time. I want to kiss you in the morning when we walk to the barn. I want to kiss you at night when we sit in the swing, and you have your arm around me. I want to kiss you when we sit on the couch, and I watch television,” I admit to him, and now that I’ve let it all out there, I can’t stop. “Also, I hate watching television. I’d rather sit with you and just be with you.”
“Is that so?” he says, chuckling.
“Um, yeah,” I admit. My heart speeds up, and I’m not sure my mouth will listen to my brain when it tells me not to tell him the rest. But my mouth wins out this time. “And I want to hold your hand, but not at the barn because I don’t want people to think I’m trying to lure you to my bed.” He shakes his head and laughs. “It’s not funny, Quinn.”
“Okay,” he says, looking at me with his back to the door of his truck. “Number one, I don’t even know what I put on the television. I put anything that I think will make you stay with me. Number two, I want to wake up with you in my arms every single morning. I want to walk to the barn with you holding your hand. Number three, I don’t give a fuck who sees me hold your hand because I don’t think you’ve been paying attention, Willow,” he says, and I just look at him. “It’s you,” he whispers. “It’s always been you. It will always be you.”
My heart soars in my chest and I can’t help the smile that forms. “Now can we go inside and …”
“And make out?” I ask him, hoping he says yes, I have never been this forward before.
“Oh, we are definitely going to make out,” he says, opening his door and I jump out of the truck, grabbing the dog. He is there as soon as I put my feet on the ground and pushes me against the truck. “If you want to stop,” he says. “All you have to do is say the word.”
“Quinn,” I say as he presses his chest into me. “Kiss me,” I say and he bends his head. He rubs his nose up and down mine before tilting his head to the side and opening his mouth on mine. I wrap my arm around his neck while my tongue comes out to meet his. He wraps his arm around my waist and picks me up as if I weigh two pounds. My feet don’t touch the ground and my lips never leave his as he walks us into the house. Once the door closes behind us, he slowly lowers me to the floor. Once my feet touch the floor, I let go of his lips. Our chests are pounding as I step away from him.
“From the minute that you rescued me, you have never left my side.” I start to tell him, and my hand comes up so I can touch his face. My finger trails his chin. “I didn’t know what to think having you there.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “But knowing you were there, I felt safe. Which is crazy because I didn’t know you and you didn’t know me, yet I knew that you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”
“I never ever will let anything happen to you, Willow. Ever.” His hand comes up and he trails his finger over my face. “Ever.”
“I know you won’t,” I tell him, my heart beating so fast in my chest. Not sure if he is going to turn me away or not. I can’t not take the chance with him. “I know you aren’t my first kiss.” My finger traces his lips. “But I want you to be my first with everything else.”
“Willow,” he says my name, and I have to wonder if he even wants me. I’m about to take a step back. “Now I don’t know what you just thought, but I can tell you that it’s probably bullshit.” He looks at me. “What did you just think?”
“I, um …” I try to think of something to say.
“Also, you should know that I know when you’re lying,” he says, and I roll my eyes. “Your eyes turn a touch darker when you are lying.” I stand in front of him shocked he would know this. “And when you’re nervous, you tap your finger over and over again. I’ve watched you for the past two months,” he says. “I’ve watched you build yourself up again. I’ve watched you work every single day to better yourself. I’ve watched you fight the demons away. I’ve watched you silently want things but never ask for it. I’ve watched you every single day.”
“Quinn,” I say his name because I don’t even know what to say. “I haven’t shown anyone the real me, because I don’t know who the real me is. But here. With you. It’s as real as it gets.”
“With you,” he says, shaking his head. “The only place in the world I want to be is with you.”
I smile up at him, dropping the stuffed dog on the floor and taking his hand in mine. I pull him past the bedroom I sleep in, past the living room, and to the one door I’ve never stepped inside. “I’ve thought about what your bedroom looks like,” I admit to him. “I wondered if you lie in bed thinking of me.” My hand goes out to his chest.
“I haven’t slept in the bed since we came home from the hospital,” he admits to me. “I was too afraid I wouldn’t hear you if you needed me.” He pushes the hair behind my ear. “So I stayed on the couch.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. I could have been lying in a pool of blood, bleeding out and my mother would have walked over my body, and this man who owes me nothing wants to give me everything. “Show me your bed, Quinn,” I say and he bends down to kiss me and picks me up in his arms.
“This is not how I saw this happening,” he says as he walks into his bedroom, and I take it in for the first time. The soft light on from the two lamps on his wooden bedside tables.
His room is massive with the big king-size bed in the middle of the room. The ceiling on top of the bed has pieces of wood on it, leading to a fan. “I wanted to make you dinner and get candles.” He walks over to the bed, and I swear it looks even more comfortable than the bed I sleep in, and that bed is a cloud.