“And Mama and Dad were fine with you abandoning Reese?”
Her brown eyes glassed over before she went back to picking up the pieces of paper. “It doesn’t matter what they think.”
“Well, they seemed pretty shocked when they saw Reese in town yesterday.”
“What? They saw her?” Sammie gasped. “No . . . no . . .”
“Yes. And they were stunned. They said you told them you lost the baby. They didn’t even know she existed.”
Sammie wasn’t listening to me. She wasn’t taking in the words that I was saying. “Reese is here? In Randall?”
“Yes . . .”
“No one can know I had that baby, Emery. Do you understand? No one can know. It would ruin my world. Mama and Dad would flip out. I told them I lost the baby, and that’s why they took me back in. They said it was God’s way of healing me.”
That alone made me want to vomit. The only way my parents would take my sister back was by believing she’d had a miscarriage? And they believed something so horrific was a sign from God?
What was wrong with those people?
What was wrong with Sammie for telling such a terrible lie?
“Well, now they know Reese exists. So you’ll have to deal with that,” I warned her. “Not that you’re good with dealing with things.”
“You don’t get to scold me,” she started.
“The hell I don’t!” I snapped.
“Watch your language—you’re in a church,” Sammie muttered, sounding a bit too much like Mama.
“Is this all you wanted? To be a carbon copy of Mama? To pretend that things are fine when they aren’t? You abandoned me, Sammie, after I took you in, and you have nothing to say about it? No remorse?”
She parted her lips as her body shivered a little. “It . . . it was in God’s will to end up this way.”
God’s will?
What a fucking cop-out.
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe the woman who was standing in front of me saying these things. I didn’t know that woman. I didn’t know the girl who stood there speaking the words that she had. My sister wasn’t that person. My sister could never be so cruel and heartless. No . . . the woman in front of me was a product of our parents. They’d shaped her solid during the most traumatic times of her life.
And the sister I knew, the Sammie I loved, was no longer anywhere to be found.
“It’s a sad day when a person needs to use God to cover up their guilt for harsh choices in life,” I muttered, turning away, knowing there wasn’t anything else left for me to say.
As I went to open the door, Sammie called out.
“Emery?”
“Yes?”
I looked back to find a teary-eyed girl staring my way. Her bottom lip trembled as she said, “Please don’t tell anyone about Reese and me. It would ruin my life. I can’t deal with that. I have a new beginning. People can’t know.”
I didn’t say another word to her as I walked out of the building. I’d never tell a soul about what Sammie did all those years ago. But that guilt on Sammie’s heart?
That was something she’d have to deal with for the rest of her life.
My days felt heavy as memories of my trip to see Sammie kept coming up and pounding me with emotions. I did my best to distract myself with spending extra quality time with Reese and coming up with new recipes to try for Oliver. Cooking and my daughter were my two saving graces. Without them both, my mind would’ve run wild.
One afternoon, while I was making a grocery list for the week at Oliver’s, I heard sniffling coming from the pantry.
Alarmed, I headed over quickly, where I found a crying Kelly falling apart, with her palms over her face.
“Oh my gosh, Kelly, what’s wrong?” I asked, rushing to her side and pulling her straight in for a hug.
“I’m sorry, Em.” She sniffled and tried to control her emotions. “I just saw the cereal up there, and it reminded me of a night that Alex and I stayed up late into the night eating cereal, and it’s stupid but it hit me hard, and now . . .” She couldn’t finish her words, because she began sobbing again.
It was the first time I’d witnessed Kelly showing any kind of sadness. Oliver had told me that she and Alex had had a past together and were falling in love, but I’d never brought it up to her, because I figured it was a hard topic to tackle. She always seemed so upbeat and composed, so seeing her crumbling from having a memory come rushing back to her broke my heart.
“I’m so stupid. I’m sorry, I’m fine,” she said, wiping the tears that kept falling.
“You’re not stupid, and you’re not fine. You don’t have to be fine, Kelly. I cannot even imagine what it is you’re going through.”
She looked at me with the most heartbroken stare and shook her head. “You don’t know how awful I feel. I feel so guilty.”
“Guilty? Why?”
She sniffled and covered her face with the palms of her hands. Through her muffled sounds she said, “A man asked me on a date at CycleBar today, and I gave him my number,” she cried. “How could I do that? How could I give another man my number after losing the best man I’ve ever had?”
Oh, Kelly . . .
That moment was a complete realization for me. While I’d been dealing with my own demons, Kelly had been facing hers. I hadn’t even known how deep her scars ran until that very moment. It was then that I realized that everyone had struggles that they tried their best to keep to themselves.
“You can’t be that hard on yourself, Kelly. You deserve to be happy again.”
“I don’t even know what that means anymore!” She cried, even harder, and I held her tighter in my arms.
“You know what you need?” I whispered, trying my best to soothe her.
“What’s that?”
I pulled her back a little and smiled at her as I brushed away some of her tears. “You need a girls’ day.”
After some convincing, Kelly agreed to have me take her on a spa day, to help clear her head and heart from the mess that was sitting inside of her.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” I asked Oliver as Kelly went to clean herself up a little.
“Yes, of course. She needs it. Plus, I can get by feeding myself for the day,” he joked. “How can I help?”
“Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor and pick Reese up from camp today? I asked Abigail, but she already has plans.”
“Of course, not a problem. What time?”
I gave him all the information, and he was more than willing to help me out.
“Thank you, Emery . . . for being there for Kelly. I know you’re going through your own stuff, but it means a lot to me that you’re helping her out.”
“I think we both need a day to get away,” I confessed. “The world’s been a lot lately. I just feel as if it’s time to unplug for a second.”
“Take all the time you two need. I’ll be here with Reese when you’re ready to come home.”
Home.
He said it as if his home was mine. That made me smile more than I knew possible.
31
OLIVER