As the whole stadium erupts in cheers and laughter and happiness, I sit in my spot tense and shocked, afraid.
So afraid.
My eyes are glued to two of the most important people in my life.
He is that, isn’t he?
Somehow Reed Roman Jackson, my Roman, has become one of the most important people in my life and I don’t want to keep him a secret.
This is another thing that I’ve been feeling ever since last night.
Along with this premonition, I’ve been wanting to tell my brothers about him. Make them understand that he’s not as bad as they all think he is.
But like yesterday at practice when they fought, Reed is in no mood to be good.
Even though he’s gotten the thing that he wanted, the title of reigning champion, his mood is so black and so bitter that even I can feel it from here.
Even I can feel his fury.
And the only thing that matches Reed’s fury and his agitated breaths as he glares at my brother while the Mustang camp of the team pats him on the back, is Ledger.
He matches Reed’s black mood.
In fact, he’s surpassed it.
And it’s nothing new, see.
Reed has always been the one to provoke my brother and my brother has always been the one to give in to it.
So this scene shouldn’t be too alarming, but it is for so many reasons, and when Ledger closes the distance between them, I can’t sit still.
And neither can Tempest, who’s also been glued to her spot through all the happiness and enthusiasm around us. Together, we manage to grapple through the thick, happy crowd and bound down the stairs to get to the front.
So we can see what’s happening.
So we can see if our brothers are okay.
God, please let them be okay.
Please.
I’m chanting it in my head all through the journey that should’ve only been a few seconds but takes an age due to the excited and exiting crowd.
When we do reach our destination, I exhale a relieved breath.
But it only lasts for a few seconds.
Because the moment we get to the front and have a clear view of the field, somehow, someway, he sees me.
His eyes fall on me through the incoming crowd, through all the chaos, and I don’t know what I see in the depths of them.
I don’t understand the intense emotion reflected in them and it scares me even more.
It scares me that as he runs his eyes over my body it feels like the last time. Like he’ll never see me again after this.
Like this is goodbye.
Before I can do anything about it, jump the fence and run to him or something like that, my brother turns to look at me too.
And as soon as his eyes fall on me, that dark brown that I’ve known for as long as I’ve lived and that has never ever looked at me with anything less than affection even when we’ve fought, I take a step back.
My knees tremble.
There’s such hatred in them.
Such thick and pervasive betrayal that I don’t know how to breathe.
I don’t know how to live on to the next moment, and then he turns back around and before I can even blink, he punches Reed in the face.
That punch is all it takes.
It makes the already wild crowd go wilder and crazier and a riot breaks out.
On the field, in the bleachers and like yesterday at practice, everyone is on everyone. Only this is much, much bigger in scale and much more horrifying.
So much so that I think I’ll get crushed under it.
Under the mad crowd and the insanity.
Somehow I don’t though because Tempest grabs my hand and pulls me away. She drags me through the crowd, dodging people and keeping a firm grip on my hand.
I’m thankful for it.
Because if it wasn’t for her, I’d be on the ground. My legs wouldn’t hold me under the weight of my brother’s gaze.
Under the weight of his gaze too.
The guy I’m in love with.
I’m in love with him, aren’t I?
I love Reed and God, I don’t know what just happened and I…
Finally, I can breathe because we’re out at the entrance now. It’s not as if the crowd has thinned out but the space is more open and air is easier to get.
I see security flooding onto the field, where the fight is still going on.
I can’t see Ledger or Reed and I turn to Tempest, with a pounding heart. “I need to go find them.”
“Wait, what about your show?” she asks, still holding on to my arm.
Oh.
My show.
That’s about to start in less than ten minutes and they must be wondering where I went.
“I don’t… I need to find out what happened. I need to… I need to go.”
I let go of her hand and enter the field.
I start running toward the huddle, which is slowly getting controlled by security and teachers and coaches.
But I don’t make it too far because I see someone I recognize.
Conrad.
My oldest brother.
He’s somehow emerged from the huddle and is now marching toward me.
In fact, he’s almost here and he looks furious. I’m used to him looking all intimidating and large but when he wears a suit with a tie — which he only does for championship games — he appears even scarier.
But I can’t let that deter me.
I need to know what happened. What Reed said and why Ledger looked at me like he hated me.
When Con reaches me, I immediately break out with my questions. “What happened? I…” I glance to the crowd. “Is Ledger okay? Is… What happened, Con?”
My oldest brother grinds his jaw as he looks down at me, and even though his navy blue eyes don’t hold the same hatred, my heart shrivels even more.
“Con, what happened? Please tell me. I –”
My brother grabs my arm then and starts dragging me away from the commotion.
I look back but still can’t see Ledger or Reed or get any indication if they’re going to be okay.
“What are you doing?” I ask my brother as I turn back around. “What… Con.”
He comes to a halt in a relatively quiet and isolated spot along the bleachers, his face all tight and bunched. “You’ve been lying to us. You’ve been lying to Ledger.”
“What?”
He stares at me for a beat before shaking his head. “All this time, we trusted you. I trusted you. I gave you everything you asked for. Every freedom, every comfort. And you’ve been lying. All those late practice hours.” He shakes his head again. “I thought you were smarter than this, Callie. I thought my sister was…”
His jaw tics as he plows his hand through his hair and I watch him, watch my brother’s face, drenched in disappointment.
I watch his face tighten with anger and betrayal.
Betrayal that I caused. That he somehow found out about.
God, he found out about it.
He somehow knows.
And with trembling lips, I have to ask, “How did you…”