“For a chance to get you up against me? Absolutely.”
Harper didn’t know if it was because there was a tiny human between them or because he sensed there was a widening emotional distance between them, but that was as direct as he’d ever been about the chemistry, the… thing… going on with them. Harper didn’t like calling it a thing. That was such a nonspecific word that wasn’t really descriptive at all. But that was the problem. She, with all of her words and definitions, didn’t know how to describe her and James.
That was probably for the best. The fact they hadn’t gotten to the phase where there was a clear definition meant it would be easier to end it.
“You have your hands full now,” she said, looking pointedly at the thing that was literally filling his hands. “Dancing might not be your top priority.”
“I can have more than one priority, Harper.”
She wet her lips. She’d always found it flirtatious and sexy when he called her Professor, but when he said her first name like that, it was sexy in a different way. It wasn’t teasing. It was hot. It made her catch her breath a little.
“The baby’s mother should probably be one of those,” she said softly, taking a step toward the door.
“The baby’s mother and I don’t have a relationship.”
Yes, because he didn’t even know who she was.
“But you need to now.” Harper reached the door, gripping the knob in her hand.
She wanted him to say something that would change all this, but what could that be, really? She wasn’t against being with a guy who had a son. But she was against getting involved with a guy who would be muddling through the messiness of… well, any messiness.
If she met a guy who was already through this part, that was one thing. Or if James wanted to take her dancing after all of this was sorted out, that was different. But right now, he needed to focus on that, and she didn’t want to be hanging out on the periphery waiting to see what happened.
She also didn’t want to be in the thick of it, getting attached to a man and—she blew out a breath. Yeah, she was scared of getting attached to the baby that belonged to a mystery woman with mystery motives who could show up again at any point and change everything just as they were making something work.
Because she and James made things work. Surprisingly easily. Olive trees and lizards might not seem like much, but they’d found a routine. Courtney wasn’t a daughter or a sister, but they’d helped her, together, beyond the hangover and broken heart. But they had an easy partnership, a way of working together that was comfortable and natural, and it seemed like they’d known one another much longer than they had.
And if the lizard and a reformed party girl weren’t enough to convince her, there was the dog.
The dog was something else. Ami needed a lot more attention and care. He loved them both. He wanted them both. He needed discipline and love and feeding and companionship and guidance. They’d become fabulous co-parents to that dog. The dog had made her feel bonded to James.
If the dog could do that, then caring for a child together… The idea terrified her.
She’d known better than to let James help out with that dog so much.
She should have stuck to her guns.
So she was going to now.
“Harper,” James stopped her as she pulled the door open.
She sighed. “Yes?”
“I don’t want this to change things.”
She looked back. Big mistake. Hot guy, holding a tiny baby, looking concerned about her. Ugh.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“I need you.”
She squeezed the doorknob. He meant for help with the baby, but still those three words tugged at her.
Harper shook her head. “You need his mother.”
“Har—”
“I have to go.”
She slipped through the door, pulling it shut behind her, before she could think about it any harder. Leaving James, knowing he needed help with something, felt strangely foreign. That was ridiculous. She’d known him for six months, and she’d made him learn everything about olive trees and bearded dragons and dogs. She hadn’t held his hand or taught him. She’d just… helped.
Shaking off the feeling that she was letting him down and hurting him, she headed straight for the freezer and the wine.
Ami came into the kitchen and looked up at her, cocking his head as she unscrewed the top and took a swig straight from the bottle.
“What?” she asked.
He gave a soft woof and then went to the door.
“No, we’re not going to James’s.”
Ami lifted a paw to scratch at the door. Harper lifted the bottle.
Ami whined. Harper wanted to whine, too. Instead she… wined.
But she only took another drink. Then she recapped it and put it in the fridge.
Ami came back over to her.
“I’m not putting it away because I’m going over there. But if something happens in the night, he might need help, and he might not think of Caleb first,” she explained, referring to his friend and fellow firefighter, Caleb Moureu.
Ami woofed.
“Well, of course he should think of me first,” she said. She loved that he did, in fact. “I’m right here. And I’m usually here for him.” She swallowed hard. “But this is different.”
Ami whined.
“He’s fine. You should have seen him. He looked totally in control. And he can Google stuff. Or call his friends. Or call the nurse hotline.” She straightened. “I wonder if he knows there’s a twenty-four-hour nurse hotline.” She started for the door but stopped with her hand on it. Ami was wagging his tail so hard at the thought of getting out and going across the landing that his whole body was shaking. “Of course he knows,” she told the dog. “He’s a firefighter. He’s a first responder. I’m certain he knows how to give a baby CPR and the signs of fever and infection. If the baby isn’t eating, he’ll know to take him to the ER.” She crossed the kitchen again, this time pulling a bottle of water from the fridge.
She still couldn’t get drunk. She definitely felt the need to stay sober. Which kind of pissed her off. But it was his first night with the baby. Maybe after a couple of nights, when he was settled in and she knew he wouldn’t need anything, she could pull that bottle back out.
“Oh!” She spun toward the door. Ami started wagging again. “The car seat is in my car! What if he needs it to take the baby to the ER?”
But again she stopped halfway to the door.
She took a deep breath.
“He’s not going to need to take the baby to the ER.”
Ami scratched at the door.
“He’ll call 9-1-1 if he really needs to,” she reasoned.
Ami whined and looked over at her.
“Or he’ll come get me. We’ll get in my car anyway. He won’t be able to handle the baby and the car and everything alone.”
Ami finally gave up and lay down, his nose against the door, as if resigned to staying in but not willing to get any farther away from James than he had to.
Harper stubbornly turned in the direction of her bedroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and headed for bed.
But she only stood next to it.