A lightning-fast flash of shock crossed his face, gone as fast as it appeared, and he pretended like it'd never happened as he gave me a confused look. "Like what?"
I shook my head slowly. "I'm not sure. You just..." I trailed off, not actually having the words to describe how his whole energy had changed since we'd arrived at the office. "Never mind," I finally murmured. "Maybe I'm overthinking things."
Maybe it was the way Gen had fluttered her lashes at Zed when we walked in that had set me on edge. I wanted to say I wasn't used to feeling jealous of the female—and male—attention my best friend drew, but that was a lie. I'd been jealous of his revolving door of women for a long time, I just hadn't identified that's what it was. Now, though? Now I could see it for what it was. Primal, irrational jealousy.
Zed leaned down, bracing his hands on the arms of my chair as he smirked at me. "I already confessed my deepest secret to you, Dare. There's nothing else to hide."
He leaned in closer but stopped when our lips were just an inch apart, and I stopped breathing.
"I want to kiss you so fucking bad," he confessed, his voice a rough whisper. "But I can't stand that conflicted look in your eyes."
My soul screamed in frustration, but no sound exited my mouth. I just sat there frozen as he straightened back up and quietly left my office. But what the fuck could I have even said back to that? He was right. Every damn time we kissed those dark memories flashed across my mind. No matter how briefly, no matter whether I even consciously acknowledged those memories, they left a mark. It tainted the emotions of Zed’s kiss and left me... conflicted. Uneasy. Vulnerable. And I hated that.
I sat there at my desk for a long time, mentally berating myself for being such a damaged, broken bitch. Screaming at myself internally for pushing Zed away when he was one of the best things to ever happen to me. And yet I didn't get to my feet and rush after him. I just... I wasn't there yet. Maybe I never would be.
The sound of Zed's low voice and Gen's laughter outside my office made my teeth grind together, but I just pushed it all out of my mind. Turning my stereo on to drown out the distractions, I went to work on my digital to-do list that Hannah had kindly compiled for me.
Putting my mind into work mode, I flew through all my outstanding tasks, then put together an email to Hannah offering her a promotion to my full-time assistant. Before sending it, I sent Macy a quick message to inform her that I was poaching her assistant.
My accountant emailed back almost instantly, telling me she'd already been training Hannah's replacement for the past week.
I snorted a laugh at that and hit send on the job offer to Hannah. Then I shut down my computer and grabbed my shit to leave.
"Yes!" Hannah squealed as I opened my office door. "Yes, I accept!" She popped out of her office chair and launched at me like she was going to hug me, then caught herself halfway and ended up on her ass at my feet.
I peered down at her with one brow raised. "Are you okay?"
Cringing, she nodded. Her thick black hair was up in two high buns like an anime character, and they bobbed with her head in a slightly comical way.
"Um, yep. Sorry, sir," she replied, scrambling to her feet and smoothing her hands down the front of her skirt. "Got carried away."
I didn't prolong her obvious embarrassment, just gave her a nod and continued out of the office. Zed and Gen were nowhere to be seen, so I was going to assume they were downstairs. Even if Zed wanted to piss me off, he still had business on his mind, and we were due for a meeting with Alexi over at Anarchy in the afternoon.
Still, I breathed a long sigh of relief when I found him leaning against the door of his car. Alone. Waiting for me.
13
Our meeting with Alexi only produced more headaches. According to him, several of the staff from 7th Circle, who we'd been trying to place in other clubs so they wouldn't be out of work, had gone missing or, at very least, weren't responding when my team tried to reach out to them about shifts.
An uneasy, anxious feeling twisted my stomach as Zed and I left Anarchy some time later. We'd done everything we needed to do, work-wise, but the issue of 7th Circle staff not responding was plaguing my mind.
"Do you think Chase has a hand in this?" I asked Zed after we were back on the road. "Or am I just being paranoid?"
"I don't think there's such a thing as being too paranoid when it comes to him right now," Zed replied with a heavy sigh. "We thought he was bad before... He seems a hundred times worse now. What has me curious, though, is why now? It's been five years. Why is he coming for you now and not years ago?"
I nodded slowly. "You think something triggered him? Or... he was waiting for something?"
Zed shrugged. "No fucking clue. It's just bugging me. I wish I could work out what the connection was."
"Same here." I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. "Can we stop and grab pie from Nadia's on the way? I feel like I need the sugar hit."
He arched a brow at me. "You wanna go to a Reaper business right now? We're not exactly their favorite people."
I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah, I know. But we also have to remind them who is in change. And Cass isn't actually dead."
"Alright. But maybe let's keep it quick. I don't fancy needing to clean up bodies and bullet holes tonight." He grimaced. "’Cause you know Cass would shit a damn brick if we left that mess at his grandmother's café."
I jerked in my seat. "What?"
Zed blinked at me. "What?"
"Nadia is Cass's grandmother?" I gaped in shock. "Since when?"
He gave me an amused chuckle. "Uh, I imagine since her daughter gave birth to his grumpy ass. That's usually how someone becomes a grandparent. Isn't it?"
"Oh, ha-fucking-ha. Smart ass. Why didn't I know this already? And how'd you know?"
He gave an easy shrug. "I pay attention."
I scowled at the side of his face, knowing full damn well he was winding me up. "You're insufferable, Zeddy Bear."
He shot me a quick look, a relaxed smile playing over his lips. "You love it."
I bit my tongue before I could lie and tell him I didn't. Ugh, maybe I needed to find a good therapist to help me work through all my unresolved trauma. Maybe then I could let go of all my nasty, icky hang-ups and let myself love Zed the way I already knew I did.
But then again, what kind of therapist could work with a mind as messed up as mine?
"Have you thought any more on what to do about Chase?" Zed asked after a long silence. "I know we can't just kill him, but we should at least get his DNA sample to rule him out as Gumdrop’s mysterious big brother."
I blew out a long breath, fluffing my fingers through my hair. "Fuck me, I wish we could just kill him once and for all. How easy that would be."
But Chase wasn't that stupid, and he knew I knew he wasn't that stupid. Like he'd proven with the explosives placed around Demi's Italian home, he had his bases covered. I knew it was no coincidence that he'd mentioned my FBI tail, too. He had someone in the feds firmly in his pocket, and I'd put money on it that if he went "missing," I would find myself in a jail cell faster than you could say evidence. Or worse, someone I loved might take the blame.