“To talk.”
“About what?”
“You.”
Cynna wasn’t sure how to read that. In the year she’d spent with the god, he’d never been much interested in learning about her. Hadn’t wanted to talk much to her, either. She’d been a trophy more than anything.
Tense minutes passed in silence. She racked her brain, trying to figure out what to say, what she could do to make Nick wake the fuck up…
“Why did you help him?”
Her thoughts came to a spinning stop when she realized Zagreus was talking about Nick. About what she’d done in that prison cell. When she’d defied Zagreus’s orders.
“I…” She glanced around the dark room, searching for an answer. She had no idea why he was asking this, especially after all these years. “Because it was the right thing to do.”
“You didn’t know him then.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you help any of the others? He wasn’t my only prisoner.”
No, he hadn’t been. She swallowed again, not liking the answer, but not willing to lie in case he could tell. “I… I wasn’t ready to help anyone before that. I was too wrapped up in my own pain to see anyone else’s.”
“But he changed that.”
“Yeah.” Her gaze slowly slid back to Zagreus’s, uncertainty swirling in her stomach because she didn’t know where this was going. “He did.”
He stared at her a long moment, then pushed out of his chair.
Tensing, Cynna took a hesitant step to her left, away from him, but he didn’t move toward her. Instead, he turned and studied the seascape hanging on the wall.
Something was off here. Cynna’s gaze narrowed on Zagreus standing with his back to her in the silence. The god she remembered was direct and to the point. If he had something to say, he said it then unleashed his wrath. He also had zero interest in art.
Was it possible he’d been telling the truth and that he wasn’t here to harm her?
She zeroed in on her gift, the one she hadn’t been able to conjure moments before because she’d been too scared, the one that granted her the ability to tell truth from lies. And realized…
He had been telling the truth. He wasn’t here to harm anyone.
“Zagreus?” she asked slowly. “Are you… all right?”
“That’s a loaded question,” he muttered. “Pretty sure we both know I’ve never been all right.”
Holy shit…
Cynna stepped away from the counter, her heart beating hard and fast, this time not from fear. Carefully, she said, “Is this about Talisa?”
He turned his head but didn’t meet her gaze. And for a moment she thought he wasn’t going to speak. Then he said, “How did you know he was worth giving it all up for?”
She wasn’t sure what he meant. But she couldn’t help but wonder… “How did I know Nick was worth giving up my revenge for?”
“Yes.”
Whoa. All her fear dissipated. Carefully, she moved toward the table and sat in a chair. “I didn’t know he was worth it.” Something in Zagreus had changed. Something that surprised him more than it did her. “I just knew it was time for me to stop doing the wrong thing and start doing the right one instead.”
He’d gone back to looking at the painting on the wall, but she sensed he wasn’t seeing it. He was lost in his own thoughts. In memories that had nothing to do with her and everything to do with a past that had shaped him into who and what he was today.
She wasn’t sure what compelled her to go on, but she suspected he was waiting for more. For something that made sense. And for reasons she couldn’t define, she wanted to give him that.
“People who live through horrible things can so easily get lost in their own pain and misery that they become capable of the same or even worse things,” she said softly. “I know. I lived it. I did horrendous things, not because you or anyone told me to, but because I could. Because I wanted others to suffer the way I was suffering. But none of it brought my family back. None of it fixed the wrongs I’d endured. And spending most of my adult life plotting revenge against a sister I didn’t know only made my life even more desolate and empty.”
He was silent in her kitchen, still looking at the painting on her wall. Only now there was a perplexed expression on his face. One that was so at odds with the malicious god she’d once known, it relaxed her ever more.
No, he wasn’t here to harm her or Nick. He was here because he was confused.
“Does Talisa know?” Cynna asked, sensing if she didn’t prod him, he’d stand there all night. “About her past lives? How you’re connected?”
He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, still staring at the picture. “Yes.”
“Does she remember?”
“No. I don’t know how she knows. One of the nymphs must have told her. They’re always gossiping.”
Cynna wanted to ask about these nymphs—he’d had nymphs at his lair in the Yucatan when she’d been with him, but something told her these nymphs were different. Since he seemed agitated, though, she decided to stay on the topic of Talisa instead.
“And you’re worried about that? About what the nymphs are telling her? That she won’t want to stay with you because of what she hears?”
He turned a scowl Cynna’s way. “I wish that was the problem. I’ve tried to get her to leave numerous times only she won’t.” He glanced toward the window over the sink and muttered, “She’s the most stubborn female I’ve ever met.”
Two things hit Cynna at once. The first was that Zagreus was in love with Talisa. Really in love with her. Which was why he was so off kilter. And the second was something she understood well.
“You don’t think you deserve her,” she said quietly.
“I know I don’t deserve her. I just don’t know how to convince her of that fact.”
“Wow.”
Zagreus turned to face her. “What?”
She blinked up at him, shocked not just that this was happening, but that he was here talking to her about it. “She’s in love with you, too. That’s why you’re so freaked out.”
“I’m not freaked out.” He huffed and went back to looking through the window. “And no one said anything about love. Only mortals believe in that silliness.”
Cynna couldn’t help but smirk, knowing he was lying through his teeth. But that smirk faded when she said, “You and I are very similar. Too similar. We both wandered through life with nothing but revenge to lead us. That’s why it was so easy to let things go on between us as long as we did. We were a distraction for each other.”
He turned and looked at her, his expression unreadable, but she didn’t let that deter her.
“We were both broken, but that doesn’t mean either of us was or is a lost cause.” She leaned forward in her seat. “There’s more to life than misery and revenge. So much more than I ever knew was possible. And it’s not dark, it’s light. I didn’t believe it before I met Nick, but he changed that. He changed everything for me. All it took was doing the right thing. When I was young, my mother once told me that it doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, only what you do today. I don’t think I really understood what she meant by that until Nick came into my life. But once he did, once I made the choice to do the right thing, that was the turning point. I realized I could love someone and that it wouldn’t destroy them. But more than that, I realized I could be loved and not be destroyed.”