“If anyone knows it’s possible to come back from the dark, it’s me.”
Zagreus’s words came back to her at unexpected times, sending a wave of agony through her chest. Every breath without him was painful. As if someone was raking hot, burning coals through her lungs, searing what was left inside.
Pushing away from the window, she quickly crossed the great Alpha seal inlaid on the gleaming floor and moved behind the Argonauts, heading for the door, knowing her father was watching her, knowing they all were, but just needing to get out. Nothing mattered anymore except this giant hole in the center of her soul, growing bigger and darker with every passing second.
She didn’t draw a full breath until she was outside the castle, crossing the outer courtyard, passing through the gate, picturing the only place that gave her peace anymore.
The cobblestones disappeared beneath her feet. The sounds of the city and castle activities faded on the breeze. Seconds later, rocks reformed under her boots. And when she opened her eyes, she stared out at the green valley cut by a winding river far below, the blue snowcapped mountains rising to the sky beyond, and the growing darkness of dusk falling from the heavens.
This view had always calmed her in the past. When she’d been angry or frustrated or upset over something her father or the queen or the Argonauts had said or done, this had always been the one place she could go to clear her head.
But this wasn’t then. And as the fresh mountain air filled her lungs, all she could think about was that circular marble lookout in the mountain high above the Ehrendian castle. The surprise on Zagreus’s candlelit face when he’d realized she’d created a private oasis for him away from all his responsibilities and worries. And the way he’d looked at her that last night. With so much aching tenderness, she’d felt every emotion churning inside him. Every want and need and hunger he carried, all for her.
The heartache inside shifted to a sharp, blinding pain, like someone was plunging a thousand gleaming blades straight into her chest. So hot, so intense, it stole her breath. So vicious she knew it would never go away.
She gulped in air. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Hands shaking, she slowly sank to her knees on the rocks, giving in to the anguish, to the misery, to every excruciating emotion she’d been fighting for the last week.
Footsteps sounded at her back. She swiped at her face but didn’t have the energy to rise. The best she could do was look up through blurry vision at her father’s sorrowful face.
“Thisavrós,” he whispered, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. “I’m here.”
She let him hold her. Let him be her strength as the tears continued to fall. Let him be the hero he’d always been for her, even when she hadn’t thought she’d needed him.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when the tears finally waned, she opened her eyes and realized darkness had settled over the valley and stars twinkled above.
He didn’t speak right away. Just ran his hands up and down her back as he had when she’d been a child and let her pull herself together. When she finally eased back and looked up at him in the soft moonlight, he smiled sadly and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“A long time ago,” he said softly, “I was right where you are now. Wondering how I fit into a world that no longer made sense. Our situations are very different, but hauntingly the same. I guess that makes sense, though, seeing how your mother was right and you are more like me than either of us wants to admit.”
She swallowed hard, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood, unable to find anything light in the world anymore.
“I tried to keep you here,” he went on. “I told myself it was the only way to protect you. But you don’t need me for that anymore.” His mouth tipped up on one side, and he skimmed his thumb over her cheek. “You probably never did.”
She swiped at the tears on her jaw and stared at him, confused by what he’d just said. “I-I don’t understand.”
“I don’t think I truly did, either. But I do now.” His eyes softened. “Home is not a place, Talisa. It’s a feeling. It’s where you’re needed. It’s where you belong. I love this land, but it’s not my home unless your mother is here. My home is wherever my soul mate is.”
Grief sliced through her all over again, and she blinked quickly, trying not to let him see. She hadn’t told anyone Zagreus was her soul mate. She couldn’t even think the words now without feeling that bone-deep agony. “W-what are you saying?”
“I’m saying.” He drew a deep breath that seemed to pain him. “This is not where you belong. It’s not your home. It never really was. Your mother and I knew that from the start. We were just…” His voice wavered. “We are just so very thankful for the few precious years we had you with us.”
Her heart picked up speed, beating hard and fast. He was talking about her marking. The one on her hip that she’d been born with. The one that meant she already belonged to someone.
Tears filled her eyes once more. Hot, blinding tears. “My home is gone.”
He stared at her with such stark focus and unwavering intensity for so long, she didn’t know what he was thinking. Then, finally, he said, “His people aren’t.”
Ehrendia. He was talking about Ehrendia.
Her pulse turned to a whir in her ears. “B-but you said it wasn’t safe. That I need to be here to destroy the Orb.”
“Well…” A wry smile curled one side of his mouth. “We don’t actually need you for the Orb until we find the last element. As for you being safe in Ehrendia… Nick and I came up with a solution for that.”
“Nick?”
He smirked. “Don’t look so surprised. We do get along now and then.”
The humor fled his features as he took her hands in his. “I know the kinds of terrible things that happen to change people. I also know that everyone deserves a second chance. I’m proof of that. So is Nick. And together, well, Nick and I are also proof that people who were once enemies can be friends. And if not friends, then at least allies.”
Her heart felt as if it might burst in her chest. He was talking about Zagreus. Not just about the fact Zagreus deserved a chance at redemption, but that in his eyes, Zagreus had already achieved it.
Those fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Tears she didn’t even try to hold back anymore.
He reached up to swipe them away again and very softly said, “They need a leader, thisavrós. Someone they trust. A warrior who can train and protect them, the way he did.” He pulled something from his pocket and held it out to her. “Someone who’s smart enough to know when she needs help. And I know you’ll be smart and call for help when you need it. I’ll be expecting you to.”
Her gaze dropped to the Argos medallion in his palm. The one all the Argonauts wore in the human realm and was a direct line of communication back to Argolea.
Her gaze shot to his, and shock reverberating all through her. Not because he was here saying these things, but because he meant them. Truly meant them.
Unable to hold back, she threw her arms around his shoulders, pushed to her toes, and held him tight. “I love you, pampas. I love you so much. That will never change.”