"Haven't you even washed your hair?"
"Yes, I did."
"So why does it look like that?"
I glance at my reflection in the phone.
“Well, it dried and I didn't dry it with the blow dryer."
"Get a flat iron and fix it. It's all frizzy and curly in weird spots."
"Look, I don't need to do that because I'm not going. I’ve changed my mind."
"I know you're just freaking out. I know that you're this huge introvert who loves nothing better than canceling plans."
"What are you talking about?" I ask, pulling the phone away from my face and scrunching up my eyebrows.
"I read about you. There was like a whole article about it on Apple News. You're one of those people that, you know, loves the idea of making plans, loves the idea of going somewhere, but then flakes out. You do that all the time. Apparently, it's a whole introvert thing."
"I wouldn't know anything about it." I roll my eyes.
“I'm going to come to your house, help you get ready, and then we're going to go to Redemption and find Dante."
"He's not even going to be there,” I say, moping.
"You don't know that. This is a big party."
I shake my head.
"I'm going to be there in ten minutes. I expect you to open the door."
19
Jacqueline
I'm still on the fence about whether or not I want to go to this party tonight. I have a simple cocktail dress, no gown, and no mask.
I looked at the Party City store, but everything looked pretty cheap and not particularly alluring, almost comical in design.
I should have ordered one online, but I had no plans of coming until recently. Still, Allison is right.
I do have a tendency to cancel on plans at the very last minute. It's like I just have this anxiety about going and I don't want to.
I always think that I will have a great time and plan on going, but when the time actually comes, I want to stay home.
It was like that the first time I went there.
It was like that the second, but going there with Allison tonight?
I don't know.
The doorbell rings and she looks stunning.
High heels, floor-length gown, hair in thick, flowing curls down her long neck.
Her makeup is flawless. Her face is contoured and the winged eyeliner around her eyes brings out their green color.
"You look amazing," I say, looking at my own sweats and my pasty complexion.
“You will look great, too. C’mon.” She grabs my hand and pulls me toward my bedroom. “It'll be like the good old days."
The ceilings of the room are abnormally low and waterlogged in parts from a recent flooding. But luckily, everything in the overstuffed closet wasn’t affected.
Allison looks through my clothes, pushing aside each item with great force before spotting the cocktail dress that I was thinking of wearing. "This will be perfect."
"Okay. What about the fact that everyone's going to be in gowns?"
"You can never go wrong with a short black dress. You know that."
"I'm going to be really underdressed."
"No, you're not. Besides, it’s better to be underdressed than overdressed. What if everyone there is wearing short dresses like yours and I’m dressed like Miss America?”
"Yeah. It would be really embarrassing to look like Miss America." I say, my voice steeped in sarcasm.
"Sit down.” She pushes me down to the floor, taking off her heels, and gets on her knees behind me.
This is the way that she would always do my hair and makeup back at Dartmouth. I was like her doll. I never liked to do it myself, and she loved to do mine.
On this occasion, just like before, she even came prepared with a little bag of her own tools, including the hairdryer and some of her favorite makeup brushes.
"Look, I don't know if I really want to go to this thing," I say, as she lines my eyes after applying foundation to my face.
"It's going to be fun.” She gestures for me to pucker my lips.
"Why can’t we just go to a regular club?"
"What is it that you don't like about this place?"
"I don't know. It's just stupid. I guess it's the expectation, you know? It's like everyone you meet, there's like a point to go into the back room. You can't just chat and get a number and that's it."
"I thought that's what you liked about it.” She furrows her brows.
"I did, but ..."
"Man, this Dante guy really got in your head, didn't he?” She pulls the brush away from my face and peers into my eyes.
"No." I shake my head, but feel myself blushing.
"Yes, he did. I mean, look at how you're acting."
"I just don't think that place is for me."
I tell her to turn around so that I can put on the dress, and when I look at myself in the mirror with the way that she has styled my hair and done my makeup, I'm shocked.
I look so different and yet the same, but it's almost like different features have been highlighted.
My cheekbones are suddenly pronounced, my lips are thicker, my eyes are bigger, but yet at the same time I look thinner and more toned.
"How did you do this?" I gasp.
"Contouring goes a long way.” Allison smiles, proud of her work. "So are we going to Redemption or what?”
"I don't have a mask.” I shake my head.
"You're in luck. I have two."
“Of course, you do.” I let out a deep sigh of exasperation. “Fine. But I'm just going to hang out in the lounge area. I don’t want any pressure."
We take a ride share car over to the club and drop our coats off upfront. Cassandra's there and flashes a smile of approval.
"You ladies look beautiful tonight," she says in the smooth voice of a late night radio disc jockey. "And those masks, exquisite."
"I got them in Venice,” Allison announces.
"You did?" Cassandra gushes, dressed in a floor-length, shimmery silver gown. Moving fluidly back and forth, she reminds me of a snowflake falling from the sky.
I'm again tempted to ask her about Dante, but I bite my tongue.
Allison grabs our drinks and we find a comfortable spot in the corner of the lounge area near the big purple velvet chairs. From here, we can survey the whole room, including the bar area, the entrance, and the dance floor and see if anyone interesting comes around.
Being back here makes us also a bit difficult to approach since we aren’t sitting anywhere prominent like the bar.
That's fine by me, but Allison looks frustrated.
"No one's going to talk to us here."
"Listen, I'm here. I said I would come. What more do you want?”
Allison twirls her bangles around her wrist and taps her foot on the floor.
"I wasn't going to tell you this, but I was going to try something new tonight,” she says, tucking a thick curl of hair behind her ear.
"What are you talking about?” I narrow my eyes.
"I am going to kiss a girl."
"Wow." I pull my mask away from my face and lean closer to her. "What do you mean?"