His lips tilted. “You always wanted a child.”
“I always wanted to be a mother, yes. I’d hoped to have more than one, but life being what it is …” She shrugged. “I could probably afford the time off now, but, up until now, all I’ve done is raise Jeremy, go to school, and get established in my practice.”
“But you’ve done it all,” he said, allowing his amazement to show through. “I mean, I can’t name more than a half-dozen people I’ve met in my entire life who could have done what you’ve done. Even then I don’t know if they could have because they’re all men,” he said. “It’s astronomical what you’ve been through, and you’re still sane,” he said with a laugh.
She grinned. “Well, I don’t know about the sane part, but I’m working on it.”
“Being a single parent is never easy.”
“No, but he’s a good kid,” she said honestly with pride. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders. He’s not stupid about life. He knows that I had him out of wedlock and that his father took off to join the navy and that I didn’t tell you.”
“So you were honest all the time,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know, if our positions were reversed, if I could have been quite so honest back then.”
“Remember how we used to sit out on the back porch, away from everybody, just spending time together, trying to decide exactly what it was that we wanted out of life? You were pretty damn honest about it back then.”
“And yet here I wasn’t thinking of leaving you behind with a child,” he said. “My life wasn’t easy, but I certainly wasn’t trying to raise a kid on my own.”
“If my grandmother and my sister hadn’t been around, it would have been a lot harder. When my grandmother passed away, it was very difficult for me because she was one of my biggest supporters.”
“She was a great woman,” he said affectionately. “She used to give me hell all the time.”
“Yeah, she was trying to protect me, I think,” she said with a laugh. “She told me privately that she always thought you were the one.”
“Well, I was the one all right. The one who got you pregnant.” Even hearing the words made him shake his head.
“Now that we’ve had that out,” she said, standing up, “I’ll put on some coffee, and then you can tell me what happened this afternoon and what you’ll do now.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do now,” he said.
“I meant about the dog,” she said for clarity’s sake.
“Ah,” he said, wondering at how different his world looked now. He wanted to get to know his son. That meant staying close, and, for the first time, that didn’t feel wrong. It felt right. Right now he very much felt like he didn’t ever want to walk out that door again.
“I’m not sure yet,” he said slowly. “I’ve got to find a place to stay for a couple days. I headed to a motel first, but then I stopped in at the truck stop to see what the lay of the land was, and I didn’t get any farther.”
“Well, I’m sure you can find a motel around here not too far from the truck stop,” she said.
“That’s the plan,” he said, rubbing his face. He stood, looked at his shoulder, and said, “Thank you for this.”
“Not a problem,” she said. “Like I said, old times.”
With that came a flash of heat, as he remembered a lot of the other old times. He nodded and took a step back, carefully distancing himself from the feelings overwhelming him. Not only had he missed seeing his child being born and being there for all the milestones, he’d also missed seeing the only woman he’d ever cared about carrying his child, and a sense of possessiveness rippled through him that he never would have thought was even possible. He took a long slow breath. “I need to leave.”
“It’s probably a good idea,” she said, her voice catching in the back of her throat.
He nodded and turned suddenly, heading for the front door.
“Feel free to stop by again.”
At the front door, he stopped and rested his head against the door. “Does he know?”
“That it’s you? No,” she said. He nodded, opened the door, and she asked, “Do you want him to?”
And his heart stopped; he turned to look at her and whispered, “If he would like to, yes,” he said. “I feel like I already missed everything that was important in his life—and mine. I don’t want to miss anything more.”
“I hear you,” she said, “but I think, at this stage and at his age, that’ll be Jeremy’s choice.”
Kurt winced, nodded, and said, “Here’s my card. You can always call me if he decides he wants something to do with his father.” He handed her the card, feeling strangely formal, and then out of sorts. He gave her one last long glance and said, “I’m so sorry,” and then he turned and left.
Chapter 4
As days went, this one had been a whopper. Laurie Ann was exhausted inside and out. She had put on coffee and then hadn’t even offered Kurt any. Now she sat here, his card in her hand, wondering what she was supposed to do. When Jeremy returned home alone, not very long afterward, he walked into the door, loud, noisy, heading straight to the fridge. She shook her head and said, “Dinner soon. Don’t ruin your appetite.”
“Won’t,” Jeremy said, as he shoved his head into the fridge and came out with pepperoni sticks.
She groaned. “How can you eat so much?” she muttered.
“It’s easy,” he said. “I’m a growing boy.” He turned and looked around and said, “He left, huh?”
“Yes, he did.”
“I like him,” Jeremy added. “Too bad he left.”
“And why is that?”
“I don’t know.”
And, with that, he headed to his room, completely unconcerned, and she wondered how a child could just let things go. Adults hang on to issues for a long time, toss them around in their brains, until they looked at everything from every angle and still came up with nothing. Her son seemed to be remarkably free of all that mental turmoil that she saw with so many teenagers. She didn’t know how he managed it, but somehow he seemed to just walk through life, light and easy. Her son returned to the kitchen, reaching for more pepperoni sticks, and asked, “How long is he staying?”
“Who?” she asked, shaking her head and looking up at him.
“Your friend.”
“I’m not sure. He really is looking for the War Dog,” she said. “After that, I don’t know.”
“That’s so cool,” he said, “just to think about what training that dog has had.”
She looked up at him, noting the admiration in his voice. “That’s true,” she said. “The dog has been through a lot. Do you know anything about the dog?”
“Nah,” he said. “Wish I did though.”
“Well, thanks for not making up something so you sound like you know more than you really do,” she said in a dry tone.