Could he be any sweeter? Right now, she wanted to concentrate on him. “I’ve lived a long time, and I’ve met a lot of people—alive and dead. If I mate, I will do so with my eyes open.” It was nice to speak so frankly with him. “I’m not asking to mate. I want to engage in physical closeness with you.”
“Sex,” he said.
She felt her blush intensify. “Yes. Sex.” Just the thought made her body light up like a rocket. “Although, is mating on the table?” She’d heard the expression years ago and liked it.
A muscle ticked right beneath his powerful jawline. “I don’t know.”
She liked him all the more for his honesty. He wasn’t making false promises just to get her into bed. “I agree with the unknowing part but still would like intimacy with you.”
Did he growl?
“Okay. One was consent, two was possible mating. Three is a bit more difficult.” He looked away at the fire for a moment and then refocused on her, his concentration absolute and somewhat intimidating.
She frowned. “What is difficult? Are you unable—”
“God, no,” he burst out. “I’m able. Very, very, very able.”
“Oh.” She fought a chuckle. “That is nice to know.”
He shook his head. “You just need to understand what you’re getting into. I’m not kind, Karma. I sure as hell am not gentle, either. I can try, and I will, but you have a watered-down vision of me.”
“You are kind, and you are gentle,” she said quietly. “I’ve seen you be both.”
He breathed out. “Yes, you have. What I’m saying is that I’ve been trying to be both of those things for you since you’ve had a difficult life with very little control. I like control, and I have no problem taking it when necessary. You’re someone who deserves to make her own decisions in life. You’ve earned that.”
She bit her lip. “Couldn’t we share control?”
He ran his thumb across her knuckles. “Family is everything to me, and I protect family with everything I have and everything I am. Even if it makes them mad or if they think it’s unfair.” He frowned, but the thumb on her knuckles continued to be gentle, making her shiver. “My motivations are good—to protect and defend. But sometimes I come on too strong. I don’t think you could handle that.”
Her chin lowered. If he was motivated by affection and protectiveness, she could handle it. “I don’t think you’d hurt me.”
“Of course not.” He sighed. “I also wouldn’t let you venture into Kurjan territory by yourself.” He seemed to check himself. “In fact, I’m not going to let it happen now, either. So we’ll have to find another way to find your girls and get them to safety. We will, though.”
She reached out and cupped his rugged jaw. There was only one way to rescue them, and he’d have to agree with her on that at some point. In fact, that realization made tonight all the more important. It might be her last chance to make her own choices. She chose him. Nerves stretched tight inside her—a combination of need and anxiety. Right now, she needed an answer. “I understand your three points. I have not changed my mind. Have you?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Benny had never been one to hesitate, and the fact he was doing so now when she’d offered something he so desperately wanted shocked him. The immortal animal, the primal need deep down, had awakened and was ready to play. Ready to take. “How much have you had to drink?” he asked.
“Not enough to make me do something I do not want.” She stood then, and the scent of flowers, almost gardenias but with a hint of spice, wafted his way. She flipped her hand beneath his palm to tangle her fingers through his. “Yes or no, Benjamin?”
Yes. Definitely yes. He stood, catching her off guard. Then he smiled at her small gasp of surprise. “You might be doing that a few times tonight.” Without waiting for a response, he ducked and caught her up against his chest, turning and striding off the deck and into the darkness.
She slid her arm around his shoulders and snuggled into his chest as if she belonged right there. “You have the broadest chest,” she murmured, lifting her head and letting her mouth wander beneath his jaw. “Were you this big and strong before you became a member of the Seven? Your torso is impenetrable, correct?”
Right now it felt like she had a direct line to his heart, and nothing about him was impenetrable. A warning bell clanged in the back of his head, but he gentled his hold as he strode along the river. “Yes and yes.” The woman felt light and fragile in his arms, even though her mouth was doing dangerous things to his neck. Once he’d given her the go-ahead, she seemed to want to explore. A lot.
Her hand caressed his shoulder and dug in, tracing the muscle to his neck. Her sigh this time was one of pleasure—and it went right to his balls, tightening them up.
She was killing him, and she had no clue. Damn if that didn’t make him want her more. She was genuine and inquisitive, and she wasn’t hiding anything about herself. In fact, except for the device that had been implanted in her head, she’d been honest about herself the entire time.
He walked easily up the steps to his back deck and opened the sliding glass door. “There aren’t any ghosts here right now, are there?” he asked. Their presence wouldn’t stop him, but he wanted to be aware.
“No.” She giggled, and the sound was charming. Young and free.
“Good,” he growled, prowling through his house without needing the lights. He reached his bedroom and stepped inside, grateful the moon streaming through the window softly illuminated the bed in the middle. Setting her down, he dropped to his haunches in front of her. Even so, he was as tall as she was sitting on the bed. “Are you sure?” He had to ask.
“I’m sure.” She slowly began unbuttoning her flouncy blouse with the pearl buttons.
“Me, too.” He reached down and unzipped first one boot and then the other, sliding them off her small feet. Women from centuries ago had the darndest small feet. If he and Karma ever danced together, he’d have to be careful not to step on one. Gently, for him, he drew down her stocking, rubbing the pads of his fingers along the smooth skin of her ankles.
She was so soft and breakable—immortal or not. Then he leaned in and kissed her knee.
“Benjamin,” she murmured, trembling. “I have to tell you that it has been a long time. I want to please you.” She slipped out of the blouse, leaving her in a plain white bra with the cutest pink flower in the center.
“You please me by just existing,” he said honestly. Yet the skirt really was a hindrance. So he pushed her back, grasped the waistband, and tore it off her legs.