I know what he means. Although things are going better than I thought they would, it’s clear that certain subjects are off-limits.
He grabs a couple of towels, and we quietly make our way outside and into the hot tub. The sky is dark, and the stars are hidden by a thick cloud cover.
I decide to just go for it the second we get in the tub and ask what I really want to know. “Tell me about you and Lacey. You’ve been dating awhile.”
“Yeah, since she asked me to Homecoming last year. Um, it’s going okay.”
“I’m sure you’re having sex.”
He lets out a long sigh. “Damon tells me I’m honest to a fault, but I’ve been lying to Lacey. Not about how I feel. I’ve been very straightforward with her about that. She wants us to be official, but I always say no. That I don’t have time for a serious relationship. The other day, she finally said she doesn’t care anymore—which, really, if my sister accepted that from a guy, I’d be pissed.”
“You’re the quarterback, Chase. She’s the head cheerleader. Maybe it’s more about the status. And based on the photos I see of when you and my brother go to the farm, it’s never been exclusive. So, you’re like my brother? Sleeping around?”
“The pictures would indicate that, wouldn’t they?” he says thoughtfully.
“Uh, yeah. You’ve got Lacey draped around you all week and a million different girls when you’re out with my brother.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m not dating anyone right now.”
“First of all, just because it appears that I’m with a lot of girls, it doesn’t mean that I am. You, of all people, should know that I’m not really that kind of guy. And the reason I can’t commit to Lacey is not because of football. It’s because I’m not in love with her. Not the way I loved you anyway. So, even though she recently told me that she loves me, I can’t say it back or commit to her in that way.”
The way I loved you.
“You said something when you were going through rush, about your sorority,” he says, changing the subject. “About how you were tired of the high school game. That you chose a sorority where you felt you could be an individual. I’m proud of you, regarding that. Just so you know.”
“Thank you,” I say as his phone buzzes.
He pulls it off the edge of the tub and reads it.
“Crap. That’s Damon. He, Haley, and a bunch of people are coming over to get in the hot tub. He wanted to know if I was asleep yet.” We hear cars out front. “Shit. They’re already here.”
“Do you not want them to see us together?” I ask, suddenly feeling like the other woman.
He rolls his eyes as he gets out of the tub and extends his hand to me. “Hurry.”
I get out and wrap up in a towel. Chase takes my hand, and we run toward the lake. We hit the dock, running past his family’s ski boat to my dad’s new pontoon. Chase somehow knows where the keys are hidden, and he quickly turns the boat on, keeping the lights off, and slowly backs out of the dock and out into the lake. Once we’re around the corner and we can’t be seen from our backyards, he flips on the lights and guns it all the way to the other side.
“We barely made it out in time,” he says, sounding just a little breathless as he shuts off the motor and then lowers the anchor.
The way his voice sounds reminds me of hot summer nights spent tangled up in the sheets with him.
He’s near the back of the boat, and I’m drawn in his direction, needing to know something with all my heart. I stand close to him, so close that our bodies are nearly touching.
Soulful music is playing softly in the background. I always hate when my dad plays it, but the track fits this moment so perfectly that I’m going to have to put it on my playlist for when I go back to school.
All of a sudden, I don’t want to go back.
And I don’t want to be friends with Chase again.
“When I was going through rush, I thought a lot about you,” I confess. “The first few days, you are being judged on paper—your accomplishments, grades, letters of recommendation. I kept wondering when it was just going to be about me.”
Serious about your abs.
Chase
We’re standing on a boat in the middle of the lake in near-complete darkness. My heart is beating wildly, being this close to her.
I know this is supposed to be about us being friends again.
And I’m trying.
I really am.
I take her hand in mine, pretending it’s a friendly gesture, and hold it gently, just so I can touch her. Feel that connection. See if it’s still there.
“You, we, us being together that summer was something I did for me, Chase,” she continues. “We were in this wonderful bubble, where there was no pressure. No expectations. Do you really think we’ll be able to be friends again?”
“I hope so.”
She lets go of my hand, physically backing away, and I feel like I’ve lost her again, but then one of her fingers touches my chest. She’s got a playful grin on her face when the finger starts creeping downward. “So, you’ve been working out, huh?”
“That sounds like a pickup line because you know I work out all the time.” I squint my eyes at her and smile. “Are you trying to pick me up, Dani?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” she sasses back.
And I love it. Might as well play along, see where this goes.
“You done growing yet? I heard my brother is officially taller than you now.”
“I’m probably about done. But as usual, I work out with both the team as well as your brother and our dads. I’ve put on twenty pounds of muscle since last season, so I guess it depends on what kind of growing you’re referring to.”
Her hand slides down further, taunting me. “I can see that. And these abs. Damn, Chase.”
“Oh, now, you’re just teasing me.” I laugh, assuming she’s messing with me.
And I’m cool with that.
“I’m actually very serious about your abs, Chase. Hard not to be when you’re always flaunting them in my face.”
“When do I do that?”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You know my window is right across from yours, and somehow, for, like, the past two years, you always happen to be facing it when you take your shirt off?”
“Are you saying you were creeping on me?”
“Maybe. Although get this. I heard Jennifer found empty condom wrappers in Damon’s jeans when she was doing the laundry, and Dad was proud. He even sees me kissing a boy, and he freaks.”
“You’re his little girl, no matter how well you’ve grown up.” Two can play this game. Whatever it is.
“You think I’ve grown up well?” she asks, hand on her hip, almost in challenge.
“Why do you think I’m always looking at your window?”
“Oh, now, the truth comes out. Just hoping to catch a glimpse?”
“For sure. So, you said you aren’t dating anyone at college. Does that mean you are just partying and hooking up?”
“Partying a little, yeah. Hooking up, not so much.”