“You remembered?”
“Yeah of course. I remember everything from that night. God, we talked for hours. My throat was sore the next day from talking so much.”
The honesty and charm in his version of the story and the flicker of desire in his gaze shifts something in the air between us. It’s a reminder of how easy and fun it was between us, but also an opportunity that I know I need to take advantage of before we skip too far down memory lane.
“I did go to college, sort of. I had a baby, so I took classes at a community college part-time for the first two years.”
There’s a slight change in his expression. It lasts only a fraction of a second, but I recognize it as disappointment. I’ve gotten this same look from other guys my age when they find out I have a kid. I used to get super offended, but I know it isn’t personal. Most guys my age aren’t ready for all of that, and honestly, it’s better to know right away.
“Wow,” he says. I can tell he’s grappling for the right words. I usually let them flounder in this situation, but I desperately don’t want this moment to be any more awkward than it has to be. “Her name is Indie and she’s going to be two in December, and… she’s yours.”
“Mine? Like… mine?” He motions between us.
I can only nod. My voice is frozen in fear waiting for his reaction. While his jaw hangs open, I pull out my phone and swipe to a recent picture of our baby girl. I hold it out to him. He takes it and stares at it silently for a long moment.
The noise of the party around us heightens the craziness of the situation and I feel like the biggest buzzkill ever, until I remember the party ended for me several years ago. Crazy or not, it’s a weight off my shoulders to have found him and told him about Indie. He can be a part of our lives or not, but now I’ve put it on him.
“Look, I know this is a lot and I’m sure you have a million questions, but yes, I’m sure she’s yours. Just want to get that out of the way. If you still want a paternity test, we can do that,” I ramble on.
“She looks just like me.” His tone is deep and filled with wonder. His eyes lift slowly from the phone. “I’m so sorry. I thought we were careful. If I had known…And you’ve been doing this on your own ever since?”
“We were careful.” I shrug. Seems like a bad time to remind him condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective.
“Yo, Datson!” A guy carrying a tray of red and green shots approaches. “Pick your poison.”
My phone is handed back to me and then he takes two of each color from the tray. “Thanks, man.” He looks to me. “Want one?”
I shake my head.
Standing tall, he lets out a long breath that makes his cheeks puff out. “Is your friend coming back?”
“I’m pretty sure the bathroom was an excuse to give us privacy.”
He nods his head. “Come with me?”
I stick close to him as he heads farther into the house and to the stairway. We go up one flight and Datson unlocks a door and holds it open to let me enter first.
The court is smaller than the one they played on tonight, but even a non-sports fan like me can appreciate how cool it is that he has a freaking basketball court in his house.
He flips on a light and then walks to the middle of the court and sits down. He sets the shots out in front of him in a line.
“Sorry, this is the only place I could think of where we could have privacy outside of my bedroom. Given the circumstances, figured that was a bad idea.”
A giggle escapes me and I walk over and sit in front of him. “It’s okay. We can talk as much or as little as you want. If you need some time, I get that. I had six months to adjust to it before she was born, and I think it took three of those for it to really sink in.”
He’s taking it better than I expected. Minus the strong shots he warned me against earlier that it now looks like he’s about to consume.
“I want to know everything. I’m just figuring out what to ask first.” His fingers wrap around the first shot glass and he tosses it back. “When was she born?”
“December twenty-third. I got to bring her home on Christmas day.”
He mulls that over for a minute and then another shot is drained. “What’s she like?”
“A little shy. She loves books and car rides. She doesn’t talk much yet, but she likes when I read to her or sing along to the radio. Her favorite toy is this big stuffed cat unicorn. I bought a backup because I fear the day she loses it or it falls apart. She will seriously have a meltdown without it.”
As I talk, John relaxes a little. He leans forward listening intently and smiling occasionally. Each time I get more than a slight upturn to his lips, he catches himself and his brows furrow as if he doesn’t think smiling is acceptable in this moment.
His mannerisms are familiar, but he’s changed too. He’s not as quick to joke or laugh – whether that’s because of the situation or just him, I’m not sure.
“Can I meet her?”
I take a steadying breath. “Of course, you can.”
Chapter Four
John
“A baby?” Shaw asks, his eyebrows have disappeared into his hairline and his eyes are bugged out of his head.
“Oh my gosh!” Sydney looks just as stunned, but her version is a much happier, optimistic expression. I focus on her. “You knocked someone up?”
Or maybe not.
“Can we not phrase it like that?” I rub at my temples. Between the booze and the restless sleep, I’m already on edge and these two are not helping. “What do I do? I’m supposed to be there in an hour, and I have no idea what to wear, or bring, or do, or say, or…”
“You’re sure this chick isn’t scamming you?”
“For what?” I shake my head. “Nah. The timeline adds up, and the kid looks just like me. She suggested we do a paternity test so that everyone is comfortable, but I don’t need it to know it’s mine.”
“She,” Sydney corrects me. “Don’t call your baby an it.”
“This is so wild.” I run a hand through my damp hair. “I always wondered what happened to her. We had this crazy night together. One of those memories you pull up every so often and smile because it stands the time test.”
“What’s the time test?” Shaw asks.
“You know those moments where people or events seem great, but then in a day or a week or a year you realize it was the booze or your lack of experience or… a million other variables that alter your perception.”
They both stare at me like they have no idea what I’m talking about.
“That’s never happened to you guys.”
Shaw grins. “Dude, I was in love with a girl for two years before I got her… of course I know what you’re talking about. I’m just surprised to hear you talk like this. I didn’t realize you were carrying a torch for this chick still.”
“Still? You knew about her?” Sydney asks her boyfriend.
“Well, yeah. We were rooming together when he met her and then spent the next month trying to find her.” He dodges a playful slap from Sydney. “What? I didn’t know you freshman year.”