It’s so selfish because I still want him.
Yesterday and last night, we crossed the line and now that we’ve done it, I can’t go back to the way things were. We’ve been intimate and now share secrets.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I jolt upright in bed, my heart hammering in my chest. Zane’s green eyes are wild and open now.
“Who is it?” he demands, his voice deep and gravelly with sleep.
“I, uh, don’t know. Stay here.”
I hurry out of bed and yank my silky robe off the back of the door. Quickly, I pull it on and tighten the ropes. The banging continues. I peek out the peephole and my stomach flops.
“Daddy?” I say through the door. “What are you doing here so early?”
“I came to check on you. I got a text this morning from Sean. He was worried about you.”
I cringe but begin to unlock the door. I’m praying like hell Zane stays in the bedroom. As soon as I get the door open, Daddy runs his stare over me, assessing my appearance.
“You look terrible, sweetheart.”
I clench my teeth, forcing a closed-lip smile as I gesture for him to come inside. “Thanks, Daddy.”
He chuckles. “I wasn’t being cruel. Do you think you’ve caught the flu?”
“No,” I clip out.
His humor fades and he narrows his eyes at me. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Everything go okay with Sean?”
I want to scream at him that Sean is a monster. But, right now, I just want him out of my house. If I get into a yelling match with Daddy, Zane might come out and I really don’t need Daddy finding out about Zane this way.
“We’re not compatible,” I state in an icy tone.
Daddy frowns. “Your mother and I weren’t either, but we grew to love each other. Sometimes relationships are more than just lust and love. Sometimes they’re more practical if they have any luck of making it to the end.”
“I don’t like him.” My voice rises a few octaves. “I don’t want to see him again.”
Annoyance flashes in his eyes that match mine. “You’re being a child.”
I gasp, blinking in shock. “Because I don’t want to go out with the guy?”
“Because you’re not even giving anyone a try. In case you didn’t notice, Kerry, you’re almost thirty. Your chances for finding a successful husband will decrease tenfold once you reach that hump.”
Hot tears fill my eyes and I’m twelve again. Lectured to death by my father. Never quite measuring up or trying hard enough. Whenever I give him my tears, I know it only confirms what he feels.
“I think you should go,” I croak out. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
He purses his lips. “We’re not done discussing this. Perhaps we can continue it for Sunday’s dinner with your mother. Don’t be late. In the meantime, put some effort into things with Sean.”
I watch him leave, not having the guts to tell him what Sean did. I’m a weak idiot, just like my father alludes to. When I’m with Zane, he makes me feel like maybe I’m worth something. Funny how Daddy can crush it all in an instant.
The moment the door closes, warm, strong arms envelop me from behind. I sink against Zane’s firm chest, allowing him to hold all the breaking pieces of me together.
“Your dad’s an asshole.”
“Yeah.”
“Want me to make your day better?” He nips at my ear as his hands untie my robe. “I can make you so, so happy, beautiful.”
I nod, my eyes rolling back as his fingers find my clit. He takes control of my mind—making all thoughts of him—as he rubs me right into a knee-buckling orgasm. Before I’ve even come down from my high, he twists me around and pushes me against the door. His mouth crashes to mine as he shoves his boxers down. As soon as he’s free, he picks me up and my legs wrap around him. Like our bodies have always known the way, his cock presses against my opening and then glides right into me, stretching me to the point of pain as I take his large size.
Oh my God.
Zane Mullins is inside me.
I dig my heels into his ass and my fingernails into his shoulders. This spurs him into action. His fingers bite painfully into my ass cheek as he fucks me hard. My moans and his growls are the animalistic sounds coming from us as he tries to drive me through the door one thrust at a time. He’s everywhere at once—his lips on mine, a hand on my ass and one on my breast, and deep inside of me. I shudder hard as an orgasm tears down my spine, lighting up every nerve ending in the process. The groan that rumbles through him is my only warning of his release. Heat surges into me—thick and potent. My body loves it because I clench around him as though to milk him for every drop.
“Oh, fuck,” he murmurs against my mouth. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”
Probably not.
But we’ve been doing everything we shouldn’t, so why stop now?
Being reckless with him is exhilarating. I don’t feel weak or small like usual. It’s as though he’s empowered me somehow. I feel strong and beautiful and worthy.
“Are you on birth control?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and bite on my bottom lip as hot tears burn the backs of my eyelids. Getting caught up in our little fantasy world is nice until reality smacks you in the face.
“Baby, shh,” he croons, hugging me to him. “It’s fine. I fucked up, not you. I was desperate to be inside you. It’s okay.”
I bury my face against his neck, the sobs finally escaping. He rubs my back and whispers assurances as I cry. His cock is still inside me, not completely soft, holding all of his cum inside. I know what a mistake this is and I still can’t find it in me to want to undo it.
“It all makes me sick,” I whisper. “In the past, I’ve been careful with condoms.”
“I’m clean,” he assures me. “As for the rest, if something happened, I would be there for you. You know that, right?”
This thing between us is quick and hot and crazy, but I know without a shadow of a doubt he would. He’s a better man than anyone I’ve ever encountered.
“I do,” I tell him. “Next time we’ll be more careful.”
He chuckles. “As long as there will be a lot more next times, I can live with that.”
“Ready to shower so I can feed you?”
“Depends on what you’re feeding me. I could eat right now, but you don’t need to shower for that. In fact, I think I’d like to lick away the filth.”
“Mr. Mullins!”
He laughs all the way to the shower, filling my heart and soul with something I never knew was missing until now.
Happiness.
Chapter Six
Zane
I’m an idiot.
Somewhere along the way this year in my quest to wear Kerry down, I fell for her. And, since Renner forced those meetings on us back in January, I’ve developed feelings for her. It was slow and subtle, a gentle tug with each blush of her cheeks or smile. Though she refused to entertain my advances, I felt the pull on her end. The attraction and chemistry we have is undeniable. So, naturally, when we both dove into this thing together, we sank.